frighteningly close to hitting. “What the hell?”
she screams. “What the hell is wrong with you? You were supposed to be her friend.”
From behind her, Logan pulls her hands to her sides. “Slow it down, Lace. Tell us what’s wrong.”
Tears overflow from her eyes while she
stares at me. “You promised me you wouldn’t hurt her. You promised she was no longer a dare.”
Beth. She means Beth. “She wasn’t. I mean, she was, but you know I called it off.”
She jerks her arms out of Logan’s grasp, but he stays near in case she decides to attack again. “Everyone is saying Chris and Logan dared you to sleep with her. They said you won HC TITLE-AUTHOR
566
when you took Beth into the woods during
the last field party. They said you slept with her and that she told you about her past. Everyone knows what happened to her in Louisville.
Everyone knows.”
Gwen. I smack my fist into the side of
Chris’s truck. “Have you seen Beth?”
Lacy shakes her head. “Tell me you didn’t do it. Please.”
Chris hesitantly touches her cheek. “No,
baby. The dare ended the night Ryan fell for her.”
She wipes the tears from her face. “Someone wrote whore on her locker.”
Logan runs both hands over his face while Chris swears. The nightmare has already
begun.
I SEARCH THE HALLWAYS for Beth and I
come up empty. The first warning bell rings and from the opposite end of the hallway Lacy shakes her head. Dammit. They can’t find her either. Logan taps my shoulder. “She just walked into class.”
Finally. I take off down the hallway and step into class right when the tardy bell rings. Lacy, Chris, and Logan trail behind me. Chris claps HC TITLE-AUTHOR
567
my back and the three of them head for our seats. Someone shushes the whispering and laughing as everyone watches me. I study
Beth. She’s reclaimed the seat in the corner of the room instead of the one she took next to me weeks ago.
Just like the first day of school, Beth’s hair hides her face and she doodles in her notebook.
My ribbon no longer graces her wrist.
An adult I don’t know clears her throat. We must have a sub today. “Do you mind taking your seat?”
Beth glances up at me, then immediately
looks back down. It’s as if I swallowed knives.
She’s heard the rumors and she believes them.
Perfection. It’s what everyone expects from me. Take my seat. Do my work. Go to practice.
Play ball. Keep everything bottled up and let your insides rot as long as the outside looks perfect. “Beth.”
She keeps her head down and the substitute steps into my line of view. “Either find a seat or find yourself in detention this afternoon.”
“Ryan,” Chris says. “The game.”
The game against Northside. I promised
Chris I wouldn’t miss another game and
HC TITLE-AUTHOR
568
detention would bar me from keeping that
promise. Reluctantly, I take my seat and turn to stare at Beth, willing her to look at me.
“We’ll catch her after class,” Chris whispers to me from across the aisle.
THE BELL RINGS and it’s a race of who can get out of their seat faster. Beth is out the door first and her size makes it possible for her to duck and weave through the mass of bodies crowding the hallway. My next class is in the opposite direction of where she’s headed, but I don’t care.
She runs down the history hallway and I
grab her arm right before she enters the safety of the classroom. I lean in and look straight into her eyes. “You know I love you.”
Her eyes search my face and she appears as broken as she did two days ago at the hospital.
“Did you fuck me to win a dare?”
I fight the urge to shake her. “I didn’t fuck you, I made love to you. Don’t do this, Beth.
Don’t take what was beautiful between us and make it ugly.”
Water fills her eyes and my heart slices into a million pieces. Beth isn’t a crier and I’m making her cry. I thought making love would HC TITLE-AUTHOR
569
prove how much I loved her. Prove that she could trust me, and it’s killing me to know that one act could be what’s tearing us apart. “I gave you my word that the dare was over.
When have I ever lied to you?”
“On the front steps of Scott’s house you
promised me I wouldn’t be a secret.”
I’m standing here breaking the PDA rules by holding her close to me. How can she believe I lied? “I’ve told everyone at school. I’ve brought you to games. I’ve taken you to
parties.”
“Tell me you told your parents. Tell me that when your parents confronted you about us, you told them we were a couple.”
My grip on her loosens and she jerks her
arm away. How could she know that? Over
Beth’s shoulder I spot Gwen skulking at the end of the hallway. She glances at me, then immediately averts her gaze. Dammit.
Beth kneads her eyes with her hands. “I fell for the jock again. The worst part is I told you how to play me. Convince me you love me and I’ll fall into your bed. I’m so fucking stupid.”
The warning bell rings and I watch in shock as Beth turns. No. She can’t believe that. “I do HC TITLE-AUTHOR
570
love you.”
Beth pauses in the door frame and I pray
she’ll say she believes me. “No, you don’t. You don’t want to feel bad for winning the dare.”
She walks into class and the tardy bell rings.
Beth’s second period teacher assesses me.
“Get to class.” Then closes the door in my face.
Feeling numb, I turn in the direction of my next class. I made love to Beth and I lost her. I swallow as my own eyes sting. It was too soon.
She didn’t trust me enough. What we did
together, it was too much, too fast. I run a hand over my head and try to comprehend how
everything blew out of control.
“Ryan!” calls Gwen from behind me. “Ryan!
Please wait!”
Rage shoots through my veins as I spin in her direction and tower over her. “Are you finally happy, Gwen? Congratulations, you’ve bagged homecoming. I hope it was worth it.”
Her eyes widen and she steps back. “I didn’t do it for homecoming.”
“Then why? Why would you hurt me like
this?”
She blinks. “Hurt you? I’ve said nothing
HC TITLE-AUTHOR
571
about you.”
“If you hurt her, you hurt me. I love her.”
Gwen’s face pales. “You only think you love her. I just…I just told a few people. Just enough so word would get back to you,
because I knew you wouldn’t listen to me. I didn’t know that they’d call her a whore. I didn’t know about the locker. I swear, Ryan. I feel awful. I do. I had no idea it would go down like this.”
When I angle my body away from her, she
tries to reach out to me. “Please, you have to believe me. Ryan…”
I move out of range and her fingers hover in the air for a second before dropping to her side.
“She’s all wrong for you. I thought if you heard it, maybe from other people, you’d see what she really is and then you’d…”
Nausea crawls up my throat. “What? What
did you think I’d do?”
Tears pool in her eyes and she shrugs.
“Come back to me.”
I pop my neck, trying to relieve the tension, but find the act did nothing to help. “We were over long before Beth came to this school. If you can’t understand that, try this—I love her, HC TITLE-AUTHOR
572
Gwen. I love her. ”
I turn my back and head in the direction of my next class. This school isn’t that big and, because of that, Beth won’t be able to hide from me for long.
HC TITLE-AUTHOR
573
Beth
I KNEW THIS MATERIAL LAST WEEK. I know I
did. I studied every night and Scott quizzed me most mornings. But I’m drawing blanks. The words jumble as I read them, which means my paper’s blank. The bell rings. “Please bring your tests to me,” says Mrs. Hayes.