“Have I broken yet?”

My eyebrows shoot up, and we stare at each other until I find the words to respond. “I don’t know. I’m too close to see what damage I’ve done.”

She pouts with a full bottom lip. “So that’s it? You just aren’t going to touch me anymore?”

I have to close my eyes when she says “touch me.” It’s almost more than I can handle. “I think I’ve made it painfully clear that I can’t stay away.”

“Are you saying that if I don’t, you won’t?”

My fingers curl into a fist on the table. “You don’t understand—”

“Then make me understand.”

“I can’t,” I say. “Stop asking me for answers.”

She looks at her lap and shakes her head, her hair falling around her face. I want to wrap that hair around my fist and pull it until she begs for mercy. She looks wild, as though something might come out if she shakes hard enough. When she looks at me again, it’s with big eyes. Somehow, innocence remains there, even after everything I’ve done.

If I were a better man, I’d be gone by now. Something has always intertwined me with Cataline, but now I’m beyond the point where I can disentangle myself. I’ve felt her writhing underneath me, seen her look at me the way she is now, like she’s waiting for instruction. I like that look. It makes me feel like I own a small piece of her.

She rises, and I think she’s going to leave, but she inches toward my chair instead. She lowers herself into my lap, and her eyes scan my face rapidly. She reaches up with slow, tentative fingers and slides my glasses off.

“I didn’t want this,” she says. Her knuckles touch my cheek, and she runs them down my skin until opening her hand to cup my face. “But I no longer know who I am. I think . . . you’re what I want now.”

“Then it has to be with the understanding that I’m hiding things from you. Things that involve you, things that you will never learn. Things that mean the difference between your life and your death.”

“Okay,” she whispers too quickly.

I turn my mouth to kiss her palm. My hand wraps around her wrist, and I hold her there. With her eyes on mine, she bends her head and presses her lips to my knuckles before running the tip of her tongue over them. I extend my index finger, and her hot mouth closes over it, sucking up to the knuckle. She draws back, swirling her tongue over the tip, and her saliva leaves a shimmering trail on my finger. Her pink lips suck and tease me, making my cock hard for her mouth.

I remove my hand and place it between her legs, pushing her jeans up against her clit so she gasps. Her eyes flutter shut as I rub her. “What scares you?” I ask.

She looks up at the ceiling. “You.”

“What is your greatest fear?”

“You,” she repeats.

“No, I’m not.” I wind my other hand into her hair and pull so she’s now forced to stare up. “Why were you still a virgin at twenty-two?”

Her throat, completely exposed to me, contracts when she swallows. “I was waiting for the right person.”

“Never had any boyfriends . . .”

She jerks her head to look at me, but I’m still fisting her hair. “So what?”

“You’re scared to let anyone in. You hide.”

The corners of her eyes glisten. There’s more anger in her voice than I’ve ever heard when she says, “You don’t know me.”

“But I’m right.”

I touch my lips to the pulse under her jaw and kiss my way over her neck. When she speaks, it vibrates against my mouth. “You’re wrong,” she says quietly.

“You’re afraid of getting hurt.”

“I’ve lost so much,” she says. “Even things I never had. And I have no one.”

I release her hair, but she won’t look at me. “You have me,” I say.

When her eyes cut to mine, they’re filled with disbelief. “I have no one,” she repeats with conviction.

My fingers are growing impatient with her pants. The anticipation of them inside her is written on her face. “I want you too, Cataline,” I say. “I want to be the answer to your no one.”

Her voice is thick. “You won’t stay away?”

“I’ve tried, and I’ve failed. I don’t deserve you. I’ll hurt you.”

She places her hands on the sides of my head and slides them back into my hair, digging her fingers in. “Hurt me,” she says. “Just don’t stay away.”

She pulls me to her, but I’m already there, pushing my tongue inside, soothing my guilt with her hot, devouring mouth. I pulse my palm against her faster, excited by our moans.

Her hands move to my waistband and pull on the fly until it opens. She digs in my pants, and her soft fist is the answer to prayers I didn’t know I had. I’m so hard in her hand as she strokes me long and gentle.

“What, you going to jerk me off?” I growl into her mouth.

“You’re really . . . big.”

I chuckle. “Going to have to go harder than that,” I say. Her grip tightens, and her pace speeds. “You’d be the first to make me come like this. Normally I’d rather just fuck.”

She inhales with a sucking noise and stands. “Chase me, Calvin.”

I’m panting heavily, empty-handed and gaping at her. “Chase you?”

“Like last night. Like all the other nights.” She takes a step back.

“This isn’t a game. I’m strong. I can hurt you.”

She takes another step before turning and running for the staircase. I’m on my feet in a flash, succumbing to instinct and temptation outside my control. I catch her ankle halfway up the stairs, and she falls forward. I let go to carry her up to my bedroom, but she scrambles to get to her feet and her flailing heel catches me in the jaw. I seize it angrily and yank her squirming body down until she’s underneath me.

“Let me go,” she says.

I drop my body over hers and catch her neck, pulling her face backward for a hard kiss. I shove my open pants down and stroke myself, rubbing my crown against the curve of her ass. “Don’t forget you asked for this,” I say.

She wriggles harder, her hands clawing at the steps above us. The more she struggles, the harder my teeth mash together. I let go of my cock to rip her jeans down over her hips, taking her panties with them.

My arm drops from her throat to surround her shoulders and secure her back to my front. I slide my dick along the opening of her pussy, which is as slick as if she’d been sitting in it all day. While my fist slides up and down, I gather what I can on the tip and slip lengthwise between her ass cheeks.

“Calvin,” she protests.

I barely manage a response. “I warned you.”

“But not there,” she says, her words frantic.

I lean into the crook of her neck, breathing hotly as I press against the forbidden spot. I can’t do it—it would take more control than I have. I release her shoulders but catch her hips before she can get away. I move to my knees. My grip is no contest for her, and she slithers from side to side, whimpering. The sight alone is too much. I pry her cheeks apart with my thumbs and spit on her tailbone. My crown rubs through it and soon I’m working myself into her tight anus until it sucks the head in.

“Stop,” she sobs from the back of her throat. “Calvin, wait.”

The way she says my name only weakens my resolve. As she molds around me, her breathing slows, and her grip on the edge of the stairs loosens. I massage her cheeks with my palms and push a little deeper. Her eyes squeeze shut before her forehead drops onto the step in front of her. Any lubrication from my saliva is gone. My cock is so hard and aching that I want nothing more than to anchor her hips down and fuck her into the stairs. I take a deep breath. “Do you want me to keep going?” I ask.

She shakes her head.

“Tell me to stop then.”

Her back rises and falls with deep breaths. I’m a few inches deep when I climb back over her, propping myself up on a step above us. I move my hips with small thrusts, each one eliciting a squeak from Cataline. Her nails dig into the hardwood as I angle until I’m over half way in.