My head hurt. I’d smacked it on the ground when Caleb tackled me. Debris was flying everywhere.

“Livvie!” Caleb yelled and shook me. It penetrated the silence in my head.

BOOM! Another torrent of debris flew toward us. Caleb lay on top of me, shielding my face with his arms as he tucked his head near my shoulder.

Someone was fucking shooting at us. My eyes cut to the door and I could see large gaping holes where wood used to be.

We rolled behind the bed. My entire body was shaking and I had no idea what was going on. Caleb was shoving me and I cried out in pain.

“Get in the tub!” He shouted. He shoved me again.

I managed to get on my hands and knees. I crawled the few feet to the bathroom and scrambled into the tub. I realized Caleb wasn’t with me.

“Caleb!” I screamed. The bathroom door slammed shut. I was too scared to move.

“He’s going to die out there, you stupid bitch! Do something!” Ruthless Me, screamed.

I couldn’t move. I couldn’t, fucking, move. My entire world was moving in slow motion and there was nothing I could do to speed it back up. I felt something wet on my face. My hand came away bloody when I touched it.

“Caleb!” I screamed again.

A loud bang rattled the bathroom door and I threw myself back in the tub. I couldn’t stop screaming or crying.

“You fucking coward, Livvie! I’ll never forgive you,” Ruthless said.

I slapped my hands over my ears, willing the voice to go away. I could still hear her screaming, begging me to do something. I could hear yelling just outside the door; a struggle. The door shook repeatedly as something was slammed against it.

“Help him!”

“What do you want me to do?!” I screamed out loud.

“Stay down!” I heard Caleb yell.

“Help him!”

Hearing Caleb’s voice, knowing he was fighting to stay alive only a few feet away seemed to clear some of my panic.

“The gun, Livvie. The gun. Where is it?” Ruthless said.

I took several deep breaths, frantic breaths, as I tried to remember. Where was the gun? Where was the gun? In the bag!

“Good, Livvie. Where’s the bag?”

I sobbed loudly, “I don’t know.”

A string of loud and angry shouting came through the door. I didn’t understand it, but I knew it was Arabic. They’d come for us. Rafiq was here to kill us.

“The bag!” Ruthless screamed.

Images. They flashed through my mind’s eye in rapid succession: I brought the bag in. I set it down on the table. Caleb picked it up and took it into the bathroom. He needed a butterfly stitch for his head. It was in there when I showered.

I looked around the bathroom, but I didn’t see it.

It was there when I went to bed. Caleb and I had sex and after, he wanted clean underwear. Next to the bed on Caleb’s side.

“Get there, Livvie. Get to the gun,” Ruthless said.

I shook my head back and forth as I sobbed. I didn’t know what was out there. If I opened the door…

“They already know you’re in here! You’re going to die. Caleb is going to die. Please!”

I scrambled out of the tub. The bathroom was tiny, my foot still touched the edge of the tub as I put my hand against the door. I could still hear Caleb fighting someone on the other side.

“I’m coming out!” I screamed.

“No!” Caleb yelled and there was a loud crash.

I gripped the handle of the door and pulled it open. The clothing rack was directly across from the bathroom, creating a little square alcove to the side of the bedroom. I could see Caleb on the floor, grappling with someone.

“Run, Livvie!”

I stood up and tried to run past them and get on the bed. A hand reached out and grabbed my ankle. I fell, face first onto the floor, but the pain didn’t register. I kicked with my legs, blind to what or whom I was hitting. The hand let go.

I looked back and saw blood. Caleb’s head was down. There was a loud, panicked scream and the person under Caleb pulled at his hair to wrench him backward. Caleb’s mouth opened on a scream and blood came spurting out.

The screams continued, one after the other.

I froze. The screaming. I couldn’t take the screaming.

Caleb’s body was suddenly thrown toward the alcove. I didn’t recognize our attacker. His face gushed with blood and a flap of skin hung from his cheek.

I screamed.

The man was still screaming as he threw himself on top of Caleb. He was beating his head into the floor.

I forced myself to move. I scrambled toward the bed, frantically running my hands underneath and feeling for the bag. It was there! I pulled it out and dumped it out on the floor. The gun came toppling out and I gripped it. It went off. I hit myself in the face with the back of my hand.

“Livvie!” Caleb yelled. The sound was a wet gurgle.

I regrouped quickly and held the gun in both hands. I pulled the hammer back and my hands trembled as I pointed it at the man on top of Caleb. “Get off him! Now!”

He turned to look at me, the flap of skin on his face just hanging there as blood gushed out, one heavy spurt after another. He rushed me and I squeezed the trigger. The force toppled me. My vision blurred for a couple of seconds. I scrambled backward on my hands, searching for the gun behind me.

I’d shot him. Our attacker lay on the ground, his body twitching and shuddering. His hands clawed at his chest. There was blood everywhere.

“What did I do?!” I screamed.

“What did I do?!”

“What did I do?!”

“Caleb, Livvie! Focus. Focus on Caleb. Where’s Caleb?” Ruthless said.

Somehow, I registered the situation. I looked toward the bathroom. Caleb wasn’t moving. No. No, no, no, no, no! I saw red. Nothing but red! I found the gun and picked it back up. I crawled over and put the barrel on our attacker’s chest. He tried to fight me while I pulled back the hammer, but he was weak, and my rage made me strong. I screamed as I pulled the trigger and blood sprayed my face, neck, and body. When I opened my eyes, I stared directly into his wide open chest.

“Caleb!” I yelled. When he didn’t answer, I crawled toward him, terrified of what I might find when I reached him. He wasn’t moving. He was covered in blood and he wasn’t moving! I pulled his head into my lap and tapped the side of his face, “Caleb? Wake up, baby. Wake up! We have to go.” There was no reaction. “Please. Please, God!” I put my hand on his chest. He was breathing.

I could hear shouting from outside. People running and squealing tires leaving the parking lot. Cops would be here soon. I put Caleb’s head down and grabbed his shirt to sit him up. “Wake up! Please!” I shook him. His head fell forward and he coughed blood onto my pants. “Oh! Oh! Thank you!” I pulled him to my chest, running my hands all over him.

“Livvie,” he said. And then he really woke up, “Livvie!” He pulled back and stared at me in shock. He pushed me to one side and looked behind me, then back to my face. “Are you okay?” he said frantically.

I nodded, tears streaming down my face.

“We have to go,” he said. “Now. Get up.” He pushed me up and I helped him stand. He grabbed my hand and stooped down to scoop up the gun.

I ran to the pile of things next to the bed and found the keys. I shoved everything else inside in one huge ball.

“Get to the truck, Livvie,” Caleb said. He seemed much too calm.

I ran across the parking lot, surprised to discover there were no people out there anymore. I managed to get the key into the lock and open the door. I scrambled inside and slammed it shut.

I heard another gunshot and ducked. Nothing happened for several seconds, but then the truck shook and I heard a loud thud. I squeezed my eyes shut. The cab door opened.

“It’s me, Livvie. It’s me,” Caleb whispered. He found the keys in my hand and pried them loose. He peeled out of the parking lot as I shivered and cried on the seat next to him. After a while, I felt his fingers in my hair, gently stroking my head.