His strong hands fiddled with the white button on his blue, plaid, long-sleeve button-up. His arms rested on the dark designer-cut jeans where they faded at the knee. Seemingly realizing that she was observing him, he dropped his habitual buttoning and unbuttoning and met her gaze. “I’m here on vacation…” he paused.
Lexi could tell that there was more to what he wanted to say, but she wasn’t sure what it was. He seemed somehow reserved about what he wanted to tell her. She had been with him long enough to know when he was holding something back. She didn’t want to push him though. He could tell her whatever part he wanted to tell her. She hoped she could keep herself from prying. She would rather die than have him pry and find out about Jack. With his intuition, she knew it would only take a couple questions to come up with that answer.
“How did you know where to find me?”
“I called your mom before I left to ask her where you were located on the NYU campus,” he admitted cringing at his own snooping abilities.
“She didn’t tell me that,” Lexi muttered angrily.
“I asked her not to tell you, because I didn’t know if I would come visit you,” he responded quickly. A curly lock fell into his eyes and he reached up and brushed it away. Strong memories of doing just that overwhelmed her. She reached up and swept her own hair behind her ears several times to try and still her thoughts. He smiled at the familiar movement. “Well, at least you haven’t changed much.”
Lexi couldn’t admit how true that sentiment was.
“Uh…so you didn’t think you’d come see me?” she asked trying to keep him on track.
“We ended…so abrupt…so wrong,” he responded sounding wounded. “And I know part of that was my fault.”
Lexi felt like she had swallowed a bag of cotton balls her mouth had gone so dry. She didn’t want to talk about their break up. Yes, they had broken up, but that had been quite some time ago. Why did he want to talk about that now? “Yes and everything else was my fault,” she murmured broken and dejected.
“Lexi,” his voice silky, “the way I treated you was completely uncalled for, and I don’t know if there is any semblance of a friendship…of more,” he whispered. “But if there is, then I want to find it.”
“Why are you saying this to me?” she cried angrily springing from her seat. “I don’t need to hear this from you, Clark.”
“Lexi, sweetie, I’m trying to apologize,” he said rising alongside her.
“And I appreciate that, but we can’t do…this,” she said, the thought sickening her. “How could you even want that after everything that we’ve been through?”
“You were always what I wanted. Don’t you see that? I was going to give you a second chance after you cheated on me for nearly a year with one of my best friends. Can’t you see that you were what I wanted? Then you threw that in my face.”
“You made me hurt him,” she whispered.
“He deserved to be hurt, and Kate stayed with him anyway. I hear they’re still together,” he told her. He took a step towards her.
She didn’t take the bait. Her brain told her that if she announced her secret then this would quickly turn into an all out shouting match. She didn’t need that. “You’ll never get over it,” she cried angrily pushing him backwards out of her face. “It’s been a year, Clark, and you’re still not over it.”
“God damnit, Lexi! I hadn’t even thought about this in such a long time, and now here we are arguing about it again.”
“That’s because you won’t let this go. You come to see me on your vacation, or so you say, and then bring this shit up?” she cried.
“Look, I am here on my vacation, but I didn’t come here to fight with you. I came to try and make amends. Obviously we’re amazing at this,” he stated sarcastically. “Can we try and start over, even just as friends?” he asked her.
“I’m not sure how well that would work,” a voice called from the stairs below them.
Lexi stomach turned as the familiar voice hit her ears. She turned slowly and found Jack walking up the stairs towards them. She knew that he had been on his way over, and had hoped to get Clark out of here before he arrived. Somehow they had got to arguing and that just hadn’t happened.
Jack’s fiery blue eyes met her own eyes, and her heart swooned. She had forgotten that he was supposed to be dressed up for their evening out in celebration of the end of first semester finals. He looked amazing and she couldn’t even break away for long enough to see Clark seething at the sight of Jack.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Clark muttered upon Jack’s arrival. “Lexi, tell me you’re kidding,” he cried reaching out and grasping her arm.
Jack was there in an instant. “You should let her go,” he said enunciating each word clearly. The two met eye-to-eye, Clark was only an inch or two taller than Jack, but he released her nonetheless.
Lexi moved between the two guys in an effort to put distance between them. This was the last thing she had wanted to happen when she had agreed to talk to Clark. “Guys, just chill out,” Lexi said her voice lacking conviction.
“I can’t believe I even came by,” Clark stated glaring menacingly at Jack.
“Me either,” Jack said putting his arm protectively around Lexi’s shoulders.
“Can you both back off, please? This is all one big misunderstanding,” Lexi muttered frantically.
“Oh no, I don’t think it is. I was standing in this stairwell long enough to hear the majority of ya’ll’s conversation. I think I understand completely what is going on here,” Jack announced.
“Fuck off, Jack. What they fuck are you even doing here? Aren’t you and Kate still together?” Clark snarled.
“No, we’re not still together,” he cried vehemently pushing Lexi out of the way and shoving Clark against the wall. “You want to know why I’m here?”
“Jack!” Lexi cried rushing back towards him and yanking at his arm.
Clark glared evenly at Jack. “I’m here, because we’re together. Lexi and I are together.”
“Right,” Clark drawled rolling his eyes.
“Clark, don’t egg him on,” Lexi yelled trying to pull at Jack’s hard muscles.
“Do you have something to say?” Jack asked pounding his fist into the wall next to Clark’s head.
“Jack, just stop!” Lexi yelled again. Suddenly, Clark tilted his head back against the stone wall and laughed. Lexi stared open mouthed at him. “What is so goddamned funny?” she asked her southern accent slipping out with her anger.
Clark shoved Jack’s arm away, forcing him to take a step backwards. He laughed again deep in his diaphragm and stared between the two of them. “You two are funny. Maybe I was wrong about you, Lexi. You two deserve each other,” he spat.
The words came out like an insult. He meant that they were two of the same kind of people. That no matter where Jack and Lexi ended up, they were destined to hurt someone else. Maybe even continue on a never-ending path of hurting each other.
Clark brushed past the two of them and stumbled down the flight of stairs. Lexi watched him go, her heart wrenching with his departure. How had this veered so far off course? She ran her fingers through her long locks. She tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to escape the ducts of her eyes.
It wasn’t so much what Clark had said, because a part of her had always believed his words. She had known all along that her and Jack were meant to be. They were cut from the same mold, which is why they had always worked so well together. He was the other half of her whole.
The situation in its entirety is what had gotten her riled up. She thought that these moments were over in her life. She had been blinded by her happiness with Jack. Sure, she thought about the bad times, but she hadn’t allowed herself to dwell on them. There was no need. But now, with Clark’s recent reappearance into her existence, the memories rushed back into her mind like a flash flood. And this time her mind was raw. It hurt worse than she had remembered.