“You’re right. I need to apologize. Would you like me to begin?”

“Uh…”

“I should have never called you.” Lexi glanced up from her plate to stare at him in surprise.

“I’m not sure what Bekah told you or what ya’ll have spoken about, but I shouldn’t have dragged you into this. What we…were shouldn’t have been put on display like I’ve been making you do with Bekah. Does that make sense? What I’m trying to say is that I know why I didn’t tell Bekah about you in the first place.”

“You do?” Lexi asked finishing off her first glass of wine as quickly as possible. The alcohol was working its way through her system and leaving her with a buzz, which helped.

“I couldn’t bear her knowing what I’d done to you, how I’d broken you. And I see it now. I see that I broke you into a million pieces and then left you there. I didn’t want her to know I was capable of that. Did you tell her I was capable of that?” he asked directing his question towards her for the first time, expecting an answer.

“I…I didn’t tell her that,” she whispered watching his face morph from despair to intrigue.

“But why didn’t you? You could have told her. You could have told her everything.”

“I know, Jack,” Lexi admitted placing her fork back down on the plate. The tiny appetite she had entered with had now gone.

“Then why didn’t you tell her. She calls me telling me she loves me, telling me that I’m everything to her. She says that you’ve opened her eyes to who I really am, but does she know who I really am, Lexi? Does anyone other than you know who I am?” he asked standing and approaching her chair. Yanking the chair from the table he rested his hands on either side of the arm rest and bore down upon her.

She tilted her face up to his. “I don’t know, Jack. Have you showed anyone else?” she asked staring up into his giant baby blues.

He shook his head letting his eyes close and his head drop forward. She couldn’t help but be amazed at his beauty even in that moment. “I’ve never known how to talk to anyone like I can with you, Lex. I’m not even sure if the woman I’ve been with the past year and a half has a clue who I am,” he announced licking his lips before continuing. “And when I’m with you, I just know. You know?”

She did, but could she tell him that? Should she tell him that? After everything she had told Bekah today and what she had gone through for him every day since they had met, of course she knew what he was talking about. She had been his constant all along. What Bekah had been saying suddenly clicked in Lexi’s mind.

She was the reason for all of this.

And that realization in itself pushed Lexi to nod her head in agreement. “I know exactly what you mean.”

His head came up. Somewhere in the deep recesses of his mind something had clicked inside of him as well. He scooped her up out of the chair and crushed his lips to hers. He kicked the chair out of his way and pushed her body back against the wall. Tilting his head sideways, he kissed her deeper, feeling around with his tongue for every vantage point. She moaned as his hands grabbed at her waist and hips. His mouth moved away from her lips to kiss her earlobe, neck, and collarbone, taking in as much of her as he could. He returned to her mouth when she clawed at his back begging to taste him again. It had been nearly two years since they had last kissed, but the way they moved together made it seem that like only yesterday. He could still remember every delicate curve of her body from memory, and she continued to revel in the feel of his skin against hers once again.

She wanted him so bad in that moment, but not like this. She wanted him as hers. She wanted him to be her own. No longer could she play the game of sharing him with another. If he was to have her and all of her, she needed the same. She needed him to only belong to her.

“I’m sorry,” he said pulling back softly as he noticed her desire wane. “I’m sorry again and again. I couldn’t control myself.” His hand came up softly to her face and cupped her cheek. “You’re so beautiful.”

“I’m sorry, too. We shouldn’t be in this position again. I want us to be…us,” she finally admitted to him. “I want you to be mine.”

He nodded. “I know. I know what you mean.”

“And I’m okay holding off until you are mine, Jack.” He nodded again. “I need to know if that is a reality for us one day or if I’m wasting my time on you.”

His thumb caressed her cheek affectionately as the time stretched between them. “I don’t think you’re wasting your time. When I’m with you, I know I’m not wasting my time.”

Lexi nodded letting a smile touch the edges of her mouth. “Oh, Jack,” she sighed happily planting another kiss on his mouth. She hadn’t felt this euphoric in nearly two years. Something about him always brought out the best feelings in her. And now it looked like things were actually going to work out for them, and they were going to do it the right way.

They let the night recede into morning as they stayed up together sharing stories and remembering what it was like to be in love. The easy flirtatiousness that they had always shared was dampened by the impending emotions that were sure to come forth once they got everything worked out. Instead, they enjoyed each other’s company along with the rest of the bottle of wine until the candles died out, and they both fell asleep.

CHAPTER 16

NOVEMBER ONE AND A HALF YEARS EARLIER

“Are you sure we have to have this sleepover at your place?” Chyna asked eyeing the dorm hallway reproachfully. “You do know I own a penthouse overlooking Central Park, right?”

Lexi rolled her eyes dramatically. “Yes, I’ve been there before. It’s beautiful, but you can’t get the college experience in a penthouse.”

“I take it back,” she said looking at a particularly large brown stain on one wall, “I don’t want to know what it’s like to be in college. That’s why I didn’t go. I’ve been dating college guys since I was fifteen. If I’ve managed to avoid a dorm room for five years, then I’m not meant to be in one. Really, I’m peachy keen, chica.”

“You’re not getting out of this that easy,” Lexi growled snatching a hold of one of Chyna’s delicate wrists and yanking her further down the hallway. “And anyway, how did you get away with that?”

“With what?” she asked innocently.

“Dating college guys.”

“My penthouse was my sweet sixteen present. Happy Birthday princess! We’re getting divorced. Move out,” she said giggling sardonically. “It really was the best thing they could do for me since I didn’t have access to my trust and couldn’t purchase it myself.”

Lexi had gotten used to this loathing hateful attitude Chyna displayed towards her parents. It was pretty common place. Lexi tried not to broach the subject too often since she had no experience in what Chyna was going through. Her parents, after all, were still happily married after nearly thirty years together. It truly saddened Lexi that Chyna’s perception of relationships was so warped. The fact that her parents hadn’t completely jaded her towards all human interaction was a miracle in and of itself. “Now that you have access, why don’t you get rid of it?” she asked. Though, she couldn’t blame her for holding onto the beautiful apartment.

“I’ve replaced nearly everything inside from knocking out walls and replacing the floorboards. It’s not like it’s the same place anymore. Did I mention it overlooks Central Park?”

Lexi resisted the urge to mention that the penthouse was also the last gift Chyna had ever received jointly from her parents. She highly suspected that was the real reason for never selling the place.