“Babe, gotta ride.” Cruz called out from the main room. I walked out with Coop in my arms and my rags on. Coop wiggled out to get to his daddy. “I’ll be back. Love you.” Cruz kissed him on the cheek as he squeezed him tight.
Looking deep in his eyes, there were many things I wanted to say. Like, be careful, stay safe, don’t get shot, but I kept it to myself. I knew exactly where he was going thanks to Stella, and I couldn’t say that I liked it. But it was club business, it just so happened to have me smack in the fucking middle of it. It pissed me off that I was putting the brothers in danger, and then on top of it; I didn’t know why the hell this was happening.
Cruz gave strict instructions for me to stay away from Studio X tonight, and I was completely fine with that. I didn’t want to be in the way or have anyone worrying about me as it was going down. I wanted to be here safe with my boy.
But I didn’t like it. I didn’t like sending him into something where he could be killed. I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it. It would kill me. Even though I knew it was part of the life, it didn’t mean that I had to like it.
Cruz wrapped his other arm around me, “I’ll be fine, Baby. Love you.” He kissed me deeply with Coop still in his arms.
As he pulled away, he told Coop, “I love you, too.” Cruz handed me Coop, walking out of the clubhouse.
Ma’s firm arms were there to wrap around us. “He’ll be fine.”
I smiled weakly at her knowing she’s been around long enough to know what the hell goes on, too. This time, I wished I didn’t.
Ma took Cooper up to the shop for a while to give him a change of scenery and me a break. Even though he’s been a wonderful distraction from what’s been going on, I needed an adult time out. Walking around the compound, I loved seeing all the banners and paintings that graced the inside of the walls. Most had the Ravage MC symbols of flaming skulls, and others had Harleys.
As I glanced at the shop, I saw Casey bent over an engine, hard at work. It was killing me that we had not seen much of each other since I’d gotten out. I didn’t understand it. It’s like she was avoiding me at all costs. She knew I had been staying here, and even though she came to work here every day, she never came in to say hi.
Walking up behind her, my voice startled her as she jumped. “Hey, girl.”
“Shit. You scared me,” she said, moving away from the engine wiping her hands on the nearby shop rag, not making eye contact.
“Where you been, Casey?”
“Mostly here.” Her avoidance pissed me off.
“What the hell is going on?” She shrugged her shoulders. “Bullshit. Talk now.” My temper began flaring, wanting to know what the fuck was going on.
“There’s nothing to talk about. Just trying to get these rides done,” she said, waving her hand over the car in front of us.
“What the fuck is the deal? I get out of prison, get shot at, take on an ol’ man and kid, and you’re nowhere to be found. That’s not like you, Casey. You need to tell me.”
Casey looked around the garage seeing that we were the only two in the building. When her eyes met mine, I could see the pain in them deep, hard, and hurtful pain. I also saw the confliction she felt. She wanted to, but she didn’t. I stood there waiting to see which one would win in the end.
“I fucked him,” her voice void as she spoke.
“Who?”
“G.T.” Shock and exasperation flooded my body. Wasn’t this the same woman that was questioning me a few weeks ago about sleeping with Cruz?
“You fucked my brother?” I questioned as she nodded. “Just once?” She shook her head no. “How long?”
“A couple months. I just ended it about two weeks ago.”
Normally I wouldn’t think anything of this, but we’d always said that we’d never fuck brothers. I fell off the bandwagon, but I never thought Casey would. “Why did you end it?”
Her eyes grew cold in an instant. “Because I will not be one of his whores that he can fuck when he wants to. He fucks everything around here. I couldn’t do it, couldn’t watch it.”
I understood all too well. I’ve seen G.T. with many women and some images I’d like to bleach out of my eyeballs, but that won’t happen. He wasn’t shy about his dick being in any hole he could find, and the ladies lined up for miles for it. They loved it. And so did he.
“So you’ve been avoiding me or my brother?”
“Both.”
“Why?”
“I didn’t want you to be pissed at me, and I couldn’t show up in that clubhouse when he was there. I didn’t want the other guys thinking they could fuck me, too. It’s not gonna happen. I’m done with bikers.”
“What are you gonna do?”
“I’m moving away.” I stared at her as if she grew another eyeball as my stomach plummeted to the ground.
“What?” My world came to a stop as everything left me empty and bereft.
“I’m going away to Cherry Vale to college. I wanna get my degree in business so I can start my own shop and build something for me. I have cash saved up from working here, and from Dad.”
“When are you going?” I asked, wanting to crawl into a hole. I’d been without her for two years, and now she was moving away. How could this be happening?
“I’m leaving at the end of the week.”
“What! You can’t leave in four days!” I yelled, my hands flying in the air. What the hell was this woman thinking! She can’t just fucking leave here.
“I have to. I got a job there at a shop, while I’m taking classes. They wanted me as soon as possible.”
“You’re going just to get away from G.T,” I didn’t hide my anger. I was pissed as shit.
Casey walked up in front of me, placing her hands on my cheeks. “Low, you know better than anyone that even though I’m a past member’s daughter, it means nothing. And add the fact that I fucked G.T. with no commitment… that puts me in the whore category. I’ve been around long enough to know; it’s not a place I want to be. This is all I know. This shop. These men. I need to get away and start a life somewhere away from here.” The gentleness in her voice made me want to cry, not that I would.
“What about us?” I asked quietly.
“I love you. You know that. But you have a family now, and you need to be with them.” She let out a deep sigh as she moved to the side of the car. “This is where you belong. It’s where you’ve always belonged. You were born to be an ol’ lady. I’m not; I need to move on. I know I’ve been a shitty friend, and I’m sorry for that. We’ll keep in touch I promise.”
Something deep inside told me that I wouldn’t be seeing my best friend again. This journey would take her away from everything, including me. And I couldn’t be selfish and beg her to stay, even though I wanted her to, more than my next breath.
“I’ll miss you,” I said hanging my head down.
“I’ll miss you, too, but it’s for the best. You know it.”
“I don’t know shit. But if this is what you want, I’ll support you.” Loud pops started going off near the office of the shop. “Get down and stay here!” I yelled as I began taking off towards the sound of them. Grabbing my gun out of the back of my jeans, I ducked low to see what was going on.
Ma was lying on the floor holding her arm with blood pouring out, as Mel stood over her aiming the gun at her head. My eyes were unable to meet hers. Cooper was crying like a mad man as Mel yelled “Shut the fuck up!” at him, sending my blood boiling. Then I heard the words I had been dreading. “I’m taking my boy!”
Coming around the corner as quietly as I could, I moved to the side of the door. Peeking around the corner, Mel’s back was to me. Just as I got a clear shot of her, Cooper yelled, “Mommy!” At that moment, everything went chaotic. Something hot hit me hard from the back, a gunshot, as Mel pointed the gun at me in front.
“You fucking bitch.” My shoulder was on fire from the shots. Somewhere from behind, something hard hit my head causing me to fall to my knees. Mel kicked my gun out of my hand as my grip loosened from being a bit disoriented from the blow, and I fell to my stomach, the pain in my head a bit more than I could bear. I held my stare with my little guy. As blow after blow came from the back to my head, I struggled to remain conscious. It’s baffling that I could go blow for blow with the guys, but a couple of unexpected blows to the back of my head could wipe me the fuck out.