“I gotta go, Babe. Stay in here with the door locked. Be back in a bit.” With a peck on the lips and a ruffle of Coop’s hair, he left us.

“Wanna snuggle up with me, Buddy?” My eyes were beginning to droop. It’d been a long day, and if I couldn’t cuddle up with Cruz, I had the other man in my life.

“Mommy. I hungry,” Coop said, rubbing his tummy.

“We’ll sleep, and then we’ll have breakfast in the morning.”

“No… Mommy… my tummy’s making noise.” I smiled at the way he explained his feelings.

“Grumbling, Buddy. Your tummy is grumbling.” Walking over to the small shelf where we kept a few snack foods, I began naming things off to him, but he wanted none of them. “Then what do you want?”

“Peanut bubber and dwelly.” He smiled excitedly.

“I don’t have any, Buddy. Let’s pick something else.”

Cooper began crying, hard. Panic flooded me as I tried to figure out what to do. We haven’t really had moments yet where I told him no, or he couldn’t have something. We’ve been just learning together as we go. I’m guessing this was the first taste.

“Come here, Buddy.”

“No… me want peanut bubber!” he yelled in my face.

“All right… all right. I’ll go to the kitchen and get you one. Sit here and watch that rabbit show you like. I’ll be right back.”

Exiting the room and locking it, I instantly felt that I was doing something wrong, and I should turn around, but looking back at the door, I knew there was a little boy on the other side of it that I needed to take care of.

Pulling myself together, I threw my shoulders back walking past the main room and into the kitchen. I quickly made Cooper’s sandwich, grabbing some chips and a soda for myself. Picking everything up from the counter, I screamed when a hand came and rested around my waist.

“Stop,” I said after the shock wore off.

“Why would I do that?” a deep voice I didn’t recognize said.

“Because I’m Cruz’s ol’ lady,” I said with force as I turned to face a man I’d never met before. He must have been a new patch member since going in the joint.

“Ol’ ladies aren’t here tonight, and you don’t have his patch,” he said, moving his hand up my body to my tits groping them. I moved out of his grasp flying to the other side of the room.

“I am his ol’ lady. I’m on lockdown here. I had to get my boy something to eat,” I said, quickly seeing the patches on the man’s rag. He was a full-out member. Shit.

“Bitch. You need to stop spreading lies about my brother.” His voice became angry as he stepped close to me. “You know what we do with dirty whores who lie around here.”

“I’m not lying. Go get him. He’ll tell you,” I pleaded, not knowing what was going to happen, and knowing that since he was a fully patched member, I’d needed to keep myself together.

“Bitch. Don’t fucking tell me what to do. Who the hell do you think you are?” The back of his hand came across my cheek hard, but I didn’t move. I stood there looking him straight in the eye.

“I’m Cruz’s ol’ lady,” I said, deadpanned.

“Yeah, we’ll see. I’ll call him in here, and when he tells me youre full of fucking shit, we’re gonna take turns fucking every single hole of your body.”

It took every bit of my strength not to rip his balls off and feed them to him. I wanted to punch, kick, and kill this fucker in front of me. But at the sound of hearing he was going to get Cruz, I was relieved.

“Don’t fucking move,” he barked at me, and I didn’t move a muscle.

“Princess!” Cruz’s voice boomed in the room. I turned to the voice, feeling relieved. “What the fuck are you doing out here? And without your fucking rag?” he growled at me angrily.

I stood there, stunned, my stomach sinking to the floor. I didn’t even think of putting the rag on. I just thought of getting my boy some food.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“Sorry? I told you to stay in my fucking room!” he bellowed as the other man came in, crossing his arms over his chest.

“This one yours?” he asked Cruz.

“Yeah. My ol’ lady.”

“Shit brother. That’s Princess? I didn’t know. She didn’t have your patch on.”

“No, she doesn’t. Can you leave us, bro?” Suddenly I felt like I wanted the psycho in the same room with us, so Cruz didn’t kill me where I stood.

I’d never once felt scared with Cruz, but I was feeling it now. I thought I should explain. “Cooper wanted a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I just came to get him one.”

“I told you to keep your ass in that room. And then you come out without your rag on. That means your fair game to all the brothers. You want that? You want them all to take turns fucking you?”

“No.”

“Damn straight, no. I told you that pussy is mine. You are mine. Go back to the room. Now.”

Grabbing the sandwich only, I raced to the room, locking it behind me.

“Yea… Mommy. Tank you!” Cooper began gobbling it up as he watched his rabbits’ cartoon.

“Coop, I’m gonna go take a shower. Be out in a minute. Stay right there.” He nodded his head, his mouth too full to respond.

Sitting on the toilet, I buried my head in my hands, letting the tears free fall from my eyes. My first day as an ol’ lady and I’ve already fucked up. I embarrassed Cruz and myself in front of a brother, the one thing I didn’t want to do. I should have had the rag on, I should have known better.

Stripping out of my clothes, I washed away the tears, wanting to get them all out before going out to Cooper.

Coop was lying on the floor, his mostly eaten sandwich lying on the plate in front of him. His eyes were drooping almost to closing.

“Come on, Buddy.” Instead of putting him in his bed, I brought him in with me. Wrapping my arms around him, I listened to his slow breathing. I wanted more than anything to fall asleep. Call me a chicken or a pussy… I didn’t give a shit. I didn’t want to face Cruz. Not after this debacle.

As I watched the clock flash red numbers one at a time as each minute passed, my body wouldn’t relax enough to sleep, but when the door opened, I closed my eyes hoping he would think I was out.

The rustling of clothes was behind me along with the thump of boots hitting the floor. Keeping my eyes closed, I felt the dip on the side of the bed where Coop was laying, and then the removal of him. I evened out my breathing, knowing that he was going to be back any minute.

The bed dipped as his warm body slid beneath the sheets. “I know you’re awake, Princess.” I didn’t move, hoping he was wrong. “Come on, if you were asleep you’d have had a gun to my face when I moved Coop.” Letting out a sigh, I slowly opened my eyes, waiting for him to talk.

“You have to wear your rags. Whenever you’re in the clubhouse, you’ve got to wear them. It’s the only thing that’s gonna protect you.” He rolled over on his side, his voice calm and collected, nothing like earlier in the kitchen. With his anger gone, I relaxed a bit and listened. “That guy was Butch. He’s from the Davis chapter and didn’t have a clue who you were. If he would have, I’d have kicked his ass for hitting on my girl.” Letting out a deep breath, he continued, “I know you were taking care of our boy, but you gotta wear your rags.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, not wanting to say much.

“I’m sorry too, Baby. I just lost it.” Cruz pulled me into him, wrapping his arms around me tightly. With my head nuzzled in his chest, I breathed him in, comforted by his gentle touch.

“I’ll wear it. I promise.” After lying there for quite some time, I spoke. “Cruz?”

“Yeah?”

“I was scared. I was afraid of what I’d have to do,” I whispered, feeling the need to let him know how I felt about the whole thing. I didn’t say a word about the man slapping me. I didn’t need to add more shit to the already burning inferno. But if it had gone further, I would have protected myself, brother or not.

“I know Baby. I know.” He rubbed my back, slowly lulling me into another restless sleep.