Extending my hand to his grasp, he said, “G.T. nice to see you. Sorry about our company up there. The boys were just having some fun with their toy before we cut him loose.”
Releasing him, I cross my arms over my chest and widen my stance as I tower over him. “What do you need to see us about that couldn’t be discussed over the phone?” Dewey’s straggly blonde hair comes down to his chin, tats lining his wrists and shoulders. He is not imposing, but that’s a hard task for anyone to be for me. Over the years, my resolve has hardened to any of that bullshit.
“New shipment. Guy I know wants two more runs a month.” I stare at him, waiting, and my mind instantly running our monthly drop schedule. “It’ll be a lot. You’d need your whole crew, but it’ll only be a day ride. Best part, 300k in your pocket each run.”
“What exactly will we be running?” Dewey snaps his finger as one of the goons who are playing with his hanging meal comes up carrying a duffle bag. Dewey bends down opening the bag. Fuck. Looking at Dagger and Rhys, their eyes dance saying the same thing.
“I’ll run it by Diamond and get back to ya. Anything else?” I ask needing to get the hell out of there, just looking at what is in the duffle, will get us all thrown in prison for a long time and I’m not ready to put my ass on the line for this shit yet.
“I need to know by next month. If you don’t want it, I gotta find other ways.” Find other ways my ass. We are his only way and he damn well knows that shit. I fucking hate games, but that’s how the world works. Everyone tries to one up ya, but Ravage does not get one-upped. Dewey may need a reminder of that.
Smirking to my brothers, I nod my chin dismissing the meeting.
These runs for Dewey are huge. All of us will be set for a long time with this amount of cash, but the risk is huge. Not only will every member of Ravage be on the transport, if caught, it will wipe us out, hard. I’m all about the cash, but my gut is screaming that something is wrong, and my gut has never let me down yet.
I’ll put it out there at church and figure it out from there, but we will need lots of intel before we attempt this one.
The ride back is smooth, but my mind continuously drifts back to the one woman that plagues me. I should be happy she left to start her own life. Happy that she is going to school to better herself. Happy that she is finding a life that makes her happy. But deep down, I’m not. I’m a fucking selfish prick and even though I pushed her away, I want her home. I can’t keep my fucking eyes on her up there and even if I have no damn right, I don’t want to care.
Casey has turned me inside out since we were kids. Growing up alongside each other had its ups and downs. Ups when she actually paid me a lick of attention instead of seeing me as her best friend’s kid brother, what a fucking pussy. And downs when she avoided me like the plague. I still remember her walking in on me fucking one of the club mommas, fuck if I even knew her name or wanted to. The light in Casey’s eyes shattered right before me and I didn’t do a fucking thing to fix it. I never thought she actually wanted me until that moment, but I was a fucking moron to never act on it.
Watching her walk around the club in those short ass shorts and hearing hear laugh was the most beautiful torture I could have. I could have fucked her at any time, just for the fun of it, but Casey has never been that type of girl. I never wanted her to be that type of girl and I damn well would have beaten the living shit out of anyone who treated her that way.
One day when I was younger, Bam caught me one day watching Casey. I didn’t realize I was doing that shit, but I couldn’t stop myself. He sat next to me and his words have stuck in my head since he said them. ‘Son, until you’re ready to be the man that she needs you to, stay away from her. She is not a piece of ass to anyone. She’s too smart for that, I made sure of it. Once you know that you are man enough for my girl, then you will deserve her.’
Being man enough isn’t the problem, it’s being able to give her the life that she deserves. I never asked her if she wanted this life, my life.
Even if it killed my heart to do it. Every woman I’ve been with was just a warm body. What Casey doesn’t know and I sure as shit would never tell her… Is her face is the only one I saw. How fucked up is that? I couldn’t tell you their names or what they looked like… nothing. Nothing at all. All I see is Casey’s beautiful green eyes sparkling at me. Sick. Fucking sick. One of the reasons she’s better off without me.
When Bam died, I was the one who told her. Princess was a fucking wreck and couldn’t keep her shit together long enough to get it out. When Casey melted in my fucking arms, she stayed there for a week. I busted my fucking ass to make sure she was okay. I even fucking cooked for her ass. At times, it was like taking care of a child, but I fucking loved every minute of it, even if I never told her.
It was during that week that I knew I had to keep Casey at a distance or shit would get bad. A man can only hold back for so long and I kept telling myself it was for her own good, but damn it was hard.
A year and a half after Bam died Princess went to prison for blackmail, which we knew she didn’t do, Casey was a fucking mess again, but this time, I stayed away. I knew one look in those green eyes would have me wanting to protect her ass all over again. And I didn’t think this time I’d be able to hold back. I caught her crying outside the shop several times, but stayed away.
When I saw Tug comforting her, it fucking killed me because it should have been me. I couldn’t watch it. I jumped on my bike and rode trying to get my head on straight. Problem was it wasn’t. Nothing is straight where Casey is concerned. While I should have been fucking ecstatic to have cash in my pocket, power and pussy everywhere, I’m fucking miserable and I need to accept that.
I continually did my fucking job with the brothers and did it well. Pops and Diamond have set me up several times over the years in situations to see how I’d react and what I’d do. They didn’t think I fucking knew… But I did. I may not have gone to college, but that doesn’t mean I’m fucking stupid, especially when it comes to this life. Every test they have put me through is all leading up to the day when I’m at Pops side. Sitting at the side of the table with Pops at the head, when the time came. It is our legacy.
When my Pa, Striker died, Diamond took over. He was Striker’s Vice President and that’s how it worked. Diamond was voted in and that was that. I’ve never asked how Pops felt about that, but I knew there were no hard feelings between the two men, just by watching them over the years. But I knew that one day, he’d like to be sitting in that head spot, just like his father. So everything since I was thirteen years old has been preparing me for that day. And I’m more than ready for it when the time comes. I’m in no hurry. I have plenty of time.
One night when I got back from one of Diamond and Pops’ tests, I was a fucking mess. I never let it show to the brothers, holding it tight never showing weakness. But that shit wears on a man sometimes. Taking another’s life was never easy, even if they fucking deserved it. I remember the night when I got my first taste of my Angel.
Parking my bike, I see Casey still busy at work on one of the engines in the shop. With it being so late, it actually surprises me she is still around and I really don’t want to see her. Every time I did, it’s just a reminder of what I can’t have.
After parking and taking off my lid, I glance over to Casey. Her knee is hoisted on top of the car body while her other foot rests flat on the ground. Her body slowly turned to me as if she could tell I was looking at her. Meeting her eyes, I feel paralyzed. Fuck. Casey smiles that megawatt smile of hers and nods her head up in the air to me.