Breathe.
This was twenty kinds of wrong and complicated, but Keith was sliding into it head-first down a greased chute with no hopes of stopping himself.
All he could hope for at this point was a soft landing, and not a pit of sharpened spikes, awaiting him at the unseen bottom.
“If I ever catch you in a lie,” Keith said, “it’s game over. Period. I won’t lie to you, and I expect you to never lie to me, even if it’s a painful truth. Understand?”
“Yes, Sir.”
Wow.
It was almost enough to make him want to tell Scott to stop calling him that for now because of what it was doing to him.
“I’m clean,” Keith continued. “There’s a place back at the resort where we can do quick HIV tests,” he said. “Just as a precaution. We’ll both use condoms until we each get a new full STD panel done. Agreed?”
“Yes, Sir.”
Keith took a deep breath. “But once that’s done, we’re fluid-bonded. You are going to be responsible for making sure your wife is monogamous with you, or you need to be using condoms with her. Understood?”
“Yes, Sir. She is.”
He hoped Scott wasn’t lying or delusional. Keith wouldn’t blame the woman for going out and getting her own piece on the side, but he wouldn’t stake his life on it, either. He’d been ultracareful over the years, even to the point of pissing some guys off. But the result was he was still neg and healthy and had never contracted anything from his partners over the years more serious than a couple of colds and a case of the flu.
He continued, part of him hoping Scott would stop him at some point. The more Scott agreed to, the fewer objections Keith had to catch-and-release this fresh fish back into the pond.
“I won’t and can’t force someone to stay with me,” Keith said, “but if you want to leave, you have to say so. You’d have to agree to be my slave, including wearing my collar.”
“I can’t wear a collar at work.”
“It’d be a day collar no one would suspect. Also, I’ll be getting your nipples pierced.” Dammit. He was catching himself talking as if it were already a sure thing.
Scott nodded. “Yes, Sir.”
“I’ll warn you now, I’m a sadist. I know you’ll have to get used to what I like, so it’s not like I’ll be shoving the pedal to the floor tonight. You can also call red at first, and I’ll slow down, but there are things I’ll be training you to learn to take for me. If you can’t handle something, I expect you to speak up and say so. Understand?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“This won’t be anything like what you were doing with your wife,” he said. “That will be the kiddie pool compared to the deep end you’re jumping into. I don’t share, but there are going to be situations I take you into where you’re going to be used by me in front of others. And used hard. So if that’s something you can’t deal with, you’d better say so now.”
Scott didn’t flinch. “Yes, Sir.”
“So answer me this. What is it you’re looking to get out of this relationship?”
Scott didn’t even hesitate. “The real me, Sir. The ability to stop pretending I’m someone I’m not. The chance to finally live authentically without worrying if my partner will freak out about who I really am. I know I’m not perfect, and I might have problems along the way, but I’m tired of trying to force myself to live a lie. Life is too short to keep doing what I’m doing. And it’s not fair to her or to me. Especially to her.”
Damn.
He’d expected a lot of specific do-me fantasies that he would have easily shot out of the air. This was usually the point in this particular conversation with prospective partners where the truth emerged, that they were full of unrealistic, sexually charged fantasies that made for great sex, but not so much a great life together.
Scott was making it increasingly hard for Keith to find reasons not to spend more time together.
Wasn’t the only thing Scott was making hard, either.
Keith reached down and adjusted himself. He lowered his voice even more. “What are your hard limits?”
Again, another pleasant surprise. No claims that he had no limits, or a generic “whatever you want” response.
“Nothing visible that will interfere with my job,” Scott started. “I can’t lose my job over this. I prefer no permanent scars, but I know accidents happen. I’m okay with piercing, to a certain extent. If you aren’t okay with me saying no to a particular piercing, then I’m not going to be your guy. I’ll agree to nipples, because that’s something I’ve thought about before. But no permanent body modification.”
“What about a tattoo, if we end up being long-term?”
Scott seemed to consider it. “Depends on where and what it is, and if it’s something I can get covered up later if we were to break up in the future.”
All answers Keith could respect and honor.
Scott continued.
“No animals or kids, obviously. I’m not into scat or watersports. If those are important to you, I’m not your guy. You already said no sharing, other than Noel, and to me that goes both ways. While I can agree to being a slave, I need to know that I can express my opinion and viewpoints, even if you might overrule me on some things.”
Keith nodded. “Agreed.”
Scott glanced down at the table for a moment, apparently deep in thought. “My job has to come first, and it means unusual hours. Sometimes working holidays and nights. Or I might get called in to work an emergency shift. That’s something beyond my control. Also, I agree if what we do ends up becoming long-term and permanent that I will have to divorce Noel. But divorcing her needs to be on my terms, and my timetable. She’s my wife, and you cannot override her, for now. Not until we know if this will last. I promise, from the time if or when we mutually agree on a long-term relationship, it won’t be more than one year before we file for divorce. But I won’t just immediately go out and file next week or anything. We’ve had ten years together, and I owe her that respect to do this the right way.”
Keith nodded. “Also agreed.” He was beginning to respect this man a lot, if Scott wasn’t full of bullshit.
And for all he knew, maybe Scott was. The more he got to know him, maybe he’d find out some ugly truths about the man.
Then again, from the way he was talking, Keith suspected that wouldn’t be the case.
“Noel and I have had a lot of talks, especially over the past few months,” Scott continued. “When we started the BDSM stuff a couple of years ago, we did all the checklists and everything. That’s how I know my limits. And I’ve never been with a guy, even though she’s done anal play with me. You’re going to have to be patient with me so you don’t do damage to me while you’re breaking me in, so to speak.” With that, Scott offered up a cautious smile.
Keith reached across the table and laid a hand over Scott’s. “I don’t like to break my toys,” Keith said. “I take very good care of them.”
Scott turned his hand over so they were palm to palm, and laced his fingers through Keith’s. Keith gently squeezed.
“I’m going to admit I’m scared to death right now,” Scott said. “This is a huge step for me. A lot of change.”
“Good,” Keith said. “I’d be worried if you weren’t at least a little nervous.”
“Are you nervous?”
Keith looked him in the eye. “Terrified.”
Chapter Four
When they finished dinner and paid their bills, they walked out to Keith’s truck. The man stepped around to the passenger side first, and Scott wondered if Keith was going to open the door for him.
But Keith backed him against the side of the truck, his body pressed against Scott’s.
Including a large, hard bulge that made Scott’s cock throb in response.
Keith reached up and grabbed him by the throat, sending a hint of the good kind of fear through Scott when Keith’s fingers didn’t choke off his breathing.