CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

I sat on the dark beach alone watching the waves crash onto the shore. I had done this every night since I had been there. I had trouble falling asleep in the huge suite alone. I found that the sounds of the ocean put me at ease. Tonight the moon illuminated the beach perfectly giving me the perfect view to watch the magnificent splendor of the ocean.

I caught myself wondering what Jamieson was doing at that exact moment and where he might be. It was hard not talking to him. He had tried calling me several times but I ignored him every time. I wasn’t sure if my resolve was strong enough to talk to him yet. I needed to give myself time to build up those walls again. I needed carefully crafted barriers. I had done it before, I just needed time to do it again.

I pulled my legs tightly against my chest and leaned my head on top of them. I knew it was well past midnight and I should probably try to sleep before the big day tomorrow. I was just about to stand up when I heard something behind me. The hairs on the back of my neck stood straight up. I mustered up enough courage to slowly turn around toward the sound and when I did, I wished so much that the ocean would swallow me up whole.

“Hello Jenna,” he said shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

“What are you doing here Jamieson?” I demanded.

“I had to see you. I need to try to explain things.” He looked exhausted. His face hung low and his eyes looked like he had been up for days.

“There is nothing to explain,” I huffed, standing and stalking past him up the small path to my room.

He followed me of course. I flung open the door to my room and went inside trying to close the door on him but he wedged his foot in the frame, stopping me. He grabbed hold of my arm forcing me to turn and face him.

“Would you just stop for a minute and talk to me?” he pleaded.

“No! No! No! You don’t get to walk in here and demand that I talk to you now. It’s done. I finally accept what I should have a long time ago. You are not worth my love.”

He looked as if I slapped him. “Jenna…please just hear me out.”

My phone rang halting my thoughts for a split second. I ignored it and turned to face him. “NO! What is there to say? How can you really make this right? You made me believe we were married for months! Who does that?”

My phone rang again. This time I looked at it. Jacks’ bright smiling face lit up my screen. She should be in bed, it was late. Shit! I hope it’s not the baby, it is too early!

“Hello?” I picked up the phone and held up my hand to Jamieson indicating for him to be quiet.

I couldn’t understand what she was saying she was upset and crying.

“Jacks, slow down you aren’t making any sense. Is it the baby?” I asked nervously.

“No, it’s Lukas. He’s…he’s dead, Jenna. He was in car crash and he died,” she explained and then began crying uncontrollably again.

The sound she made when she cried I had never heard before, it was like a trapped scared animal. I slid against the wall and down to the ground before I fell over.

“I’m coming. I’ll be there soon,” I told her.

“I need you, Jens. I have to go,” she choked out the words and abruptly hung up.

The tears flooded and ran down my face instantly. It didn’t seem real, Lukas couldn’t be dead he and Jacks were going to have a baby soon. And what about Libby? Oh God Libby.

“Jenna what’s wrong, talk to me?” Jamieson pulled me back from my thoughts. He crouched in front of me.

“I have to go. I need to go now,” I said standing in front of him.

“Talk to me, Jenna. What happened? What did Jacks say?” he demanded taking ahold of my shoulders lightly forcing me to look at him.

“Lukas died. He was in a bad car accident and he didn’t make it. I need to go.” I heard myself say the words but they didn’t seem real. The tears came steady now.

“Oh baby, I’m so sorry. Let’s get you home,” he whispered and pulled me to him cradling my head against his chest.

“You will take the jet. I will call and have it ready immediately.” Havier told me.

I sat on the couch in the grand living room of the villa. Isobel sat next to me holding my hand and letting me cry against her. Audrey and Livy sat on the other side of me clutching my free hand. Jamieson paced nervously in front of me making calls. Julian and Derrick helped gather my things and load them in the car waiting outside to take me to the airport.

I had talked to my parents and they had reassured me that they were with Jacks. My Mom had indicated that Jacks was still in shock and didn’t quite understand everything yet. I just wanted to get there as soon as I could. My sister needed me and I was in fucking Santo Domingo. I had never felt so helpless in all of my life.

“We’re going with you,” Livy said, standing up as the boys passed in front of us with my bags.

“No. I will take her,” Jamieson spoke in a low, dark tone.

Livy looked at me for approval to tear him to shreds. “It’s alright Liv. You should stay with Julian. There’s nothing you and Audrey can do. I just need to be with my family right now.”

“If that’s what you want,” she conceded, sitting back down glaring at Jamieson.

“Okay everything is ready,” Jamieson said holding out his hand to me.

I contemplated not accepting it but in that moment I really needed someone to lean on. I reached up and took his hand. He helped me to my feet and everyone hugged me goodbye. Jamieson slipped his arm around me as we walked to the waiting car. He opened the door for me and we climbed in. He tucked me close to his side as soon as we sat down.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so fucking sorry,” he whispered against my forehead.

I wasn’t sure if he was talking about lying to me for three months or about losing my brother-in-law, but it didn’t matter. I was too tired to fight with him and his strong arms gave me comfort. I settled in next to him and closed my eyes praying this had all been a bad dream.

We arrived at my sister’s home four hours later. They were the longest four hours of my life but I was just so relieved to finally be there. I raced up the stairs to of the front porch and I knew Jamieson was following me. He had insisted on driving me to the farm. I told him I could just catch a cab or have one of my parent’s meet me, but he refused.

I opened the front door of my sister’s house and proceeded inside. My Mother meet me in the in the hallway and I ran to her, pulling her in for a hug. She wrapped her comforting arms around me and spoke softly against my hair. “We have to be brave for Jacks now, darling. She needs us.”

I nodded my head in agreement and pulled out of her hug wiping my tears away. “Where is she?”

“She’s in her room. The doctors want her to rest as much as possible. They are trying to limit the stress on the baby.”

“Can I go see her?” I asked timidly.

“Yes of course, dear.” She gave me a small smile.

I knew Jamieson was still behind me. He had followed me into the house. I turned away from my mother and walked towards him.

“Thank you for bringing me home,” I told him quietly.

“You’re welcome.” He brushed a stray strand of hair out of my face.

“I’m going to go check in on Jacks,” I said at an attempt to let him know he was free to leave now.

“Good, I’m sure she will be glad to see you. I’ll be here when you’re done.”

“Jamieson—” I attempted but he immediately cut me off.

“I’m not leaving you, Jenna, not now.”