I was dumbfounded at what Jacks was saying.

“What about Lukas?” I asked in shock.

“Don’t get me wrong, Jens, I love Lukas. I thank God every day for bringing him into my life when he did. But it is different with Lukas, not better not worse, just different. Ethan changed me. He scarred my heart badly and Lukas thankfully was able to mend it back together.” She paused folding her arms across her chest. “I know what you are going through, Jens. I have been knee deep in that pain you’re in. But you have to be honest with yourself it is the only way you can move on. Jamieson Wellington is a prick and a grade-A asshole, but in all honesty he probably did love you, he just couldn’t handle it for whatever reason. And that is the real mystery not whether or not he loved you.”

I didn’t reply right away. I sat quietly digesting what she was saying. I knew she was probably right. I also knew that it was unlikely I would ever learn the real reason he pushed me away. But Jacks was right, if I wanted to move on I had to be honest about it to myself. I couldn’t avoid the pain by denying it, I had to accept it and go through it.

“Thanks for telling me all this, Jacks.”

“I’m sorry you are going through this. I wanted to think Jamieson was different than Ethan but I should have known better. The Wellington’s are a special breed of heartbreakers. But you will get over him Jenna, it will just take time,” she told me solemnly.

“I know that. I’m glad I will be leaving for Vanderbilt soon. Audrey agreed to move with me in July instead of waiting for August. I think a change of scenery will help me.” I told her optimistically.

“I know it will.” She said giving me a half smile. “Now come on, let’s go eat some cake and ice cream.”

Jacks and I made the walk across the field toward the house side by side. I was still processing what she had told me and it struck me. Would I ever truly unravel the mystery that was Jamieson Wellington or would I spend the rest of my life wondering?

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

We were still sitting on my couch and it had been hours. Jamieson had not yet finished divulging his true motives all those years ago and I was in shock. It still just didn’t seem real.

“They agreed to a merger of sorts between the two companies. Lars would back the loan I needed for the new distillery and also they agreed to sell Wellington Whiskey in all their restaurants and bars exclusively. I could not understand why on earth Lars and Violet would ever be so kind as to help me after the outrageous things I had done.”

“No kidding. You didn’t deserve any of their help, Jamieson. Lars and Violet had no reason to help you after what you had done.” I reiterated.

“I understand, but there was a catch.” He said.

“There was?” I asked.

“I had to take Trinity back to the states with me, give her a job and watch over her.” He confessed.

“Wait, what? Why?” I demanded.

“Trinity has a self-control problem as you have already seen. She is immature and a total brat. She is basically a debutant. Her parents were exasperated with her and her childish behavior. They decided it was time for her to grow up. So they put a hold on her inheriting a large portion of the company until she can prove she can settle down and grow up.”

“But why you? Why Alabama? Why not send her away somewhere else?” I questioned.

“Honestly, I think they were just sick of her and wanted her far enough away she couldn’t embarrass them. Trinity has burned a lot of bridges in London and is the topic of tabloids constantly. Before I came to London she was involved with a married billionaire. He wouldn’t leave his wife so she decided to leak their relationship to the press as revenge. Lars and Violet hoped sending her to Alabama would make her fall of the radar for a while.”

“Did it work?” I asked.

Jamieson let out a sarcastic laugh. “Yes and no. Here there are no tabloids for her to star in so that has helped but as for her settling down, not even close. She hardly comes into work and when she does she is a nuisance. She has convinced herself that the easiest way to convince her parents she has settled down is to marry me.”

“What? Didn’t you tell her that you were only dating her for her stake in the company?” I could feel the rage inside me coming back two-fold.

“Yes, of course I told her. I came clean to Trinity the same day I confessed to her parents. I drove back to London that night sat her down and told her everything. She of course went ballistic and rightfully so. I apologized profusely but then I had to tell her the plan her parents had come up with. She flipped out and went totally nuts. I swear that woman screamed for hours. Finally she calmed down enough to rationalize things. She agreed to move to Alabama. We moved the following week and since then we have been living here in Huntsville.”

“Okay… but why is she convinced you two are going to get married? What are you doing to lead her on Jamieson? Obviously she has some reason to think the way she does!” I snapped at him.

“No she doesn’t! I have been completely honest with her since the night I told her everything in London. Trinity is just crazy. She refuses to work for her share in her parent’s company she wants it to be just handed to her. She even tried to blackmail me into marrying her. She won’t leave me alone and she won’t drop this charade she has going in her mind. I feel bad for leading her on the way I did, but damn it she has to get over it. She needs to move on.”

I think about what Jamieson had just told me for a minute trying to put myself in Trinity’s shoes. “She loves you, doesn’t she?”

It was a simple question but I already knew the answer, Jamieson didn’t really need to tell me. Only a desperate, crazy, insanely in love person would act the way Trinity was, right or wrong.

“I don’t know. Maybe…probably,” he huffed out in frustration.

“Do you love her?” I quizzed him.

“No! Why would you ask me that?” he demanded a bit frantic.

“It’s a fair question. You were together for quite some time. Maybe you developed feelings for her.” I said calmly trying not to show my true anxious feelings.

“I don’t love her, Jenna. I never loved her. At one point I may have liked her okay, but it was never love. I feel a sense of responsibility for her though. It is my fault she has these feelings for me. I created them and unfortunately she now has to live with them.” He concluded glumly.

“I feel bad for her. I know what it’s like to love a lie and then struggle to believe the truth.”

He understood I was talking about him. “Jenna, it’s not the same.”

“It’s not?”

“No, it’s not. I didn’t lie to you about having feelings for you that was all true. I loved you Jenna, I never deceived you about that,” he argued.

“Really? I don’t believe that for a second. If you really loved me you wouldn’t have slept with two bimbos that night and cast me aside like I was nothing.” I bit back at him.

“Is that what you think? You think I just easily cast you aside? You know nothing! I was depressed for months more like years over our breakup. There hasn’t been a day that I haven’t thought about you, dreamt about you and worried about you. I know it was hard for you, Jenna. I know I put you though unimaginable pain but please don’t pretend like you were the only one struggling. I was right there with you just as miserable missing you and hating myself every day for the choices I had made. And for your information I did not sleep with anyone that night!”

I was overwhelmed by his words. Jamieson had never truly admitted to me that he was heartbroken over our breakup. I had told myself for years it had only been me in pain, this new reality was hard to accept.

“Wait, what do you mean you didn’t sleep with the bimbos?” I finally caught the last part of his declaration.