“But I wasn’t OK.”

“I know that now. But I really thought you would be. I really thought you would be, Syd.”

A noise off to our left drags our attention away from each other and back to the cage. The rabbit hops forward once, then twice. It sits there at the edge of freedom and hesitates.

“Be the rabbit, Sydney.”

“The rabbit gets eaten by dogs.”

“No, watch.”

She does watch. She strains so hard she might be giving herself a headache. But the look on her face when that rabbit finally figures out it can run—it’s amazing.

She gasps as the small animal zigzags across the frozen river and disappears in the thick woods of the opposite bank.

“Be the rabbit, Sydney. Get away from him. Garrett filled your mind with lies. He filled you up with instructions and triggers. He’s been using you to do his dirty work. And even though I never saw him again after he disappeared, I know he was taking you. Wasn’t he?”

If she knows, she holds it in. And I let her.

Because I just set her free. And now we’re ready for the final step.

“You can hope for truth, but always be prepared for betrayal.”

– Sydney

We check the rest of the trap line and if there’s a rabbit in there, I set it free. It’s amazing how something so simple can mean so much. My mind clears as the morning moves on. Memories come back and others recede. I’m feeling pretty good, and when we get back to the cabin, Case—or is he really Merc?—starts making something for us to eat as I watch from the barstool, nursing a beer.

His phone rings and he looks at the caller ID and smiles. “Sash,” he says. “Sash?” He looks at the phone and then I can just barely make out the three hang-up beeps from the speaker.

My head begins to pound.

“Huh,” he says. “She called me yesterday with news of a boyfriend.” He shoots me a smile. “I do background checks on them. And she had a date and needed one pronto. But I had things to do.” He smiles at me. “You needed me more yesterday.” And then he chuckles as he dials again. When there’s no answer, he shrugs. “Probably in a remote area and lost signal.”

I close my eyes as my mind starts to swirl.

“You OK?” Case asks.

I open my eyes again and shake my head. “I feel funny.” He looks worried. “Dizzy, almost.” And confused, I don’t add. “All that rabbit stuff, maybe.”

“Maybe you’re just hungry?” He pushes a plate of salmon and a glass of water in front of me.

I drink the water and push the plate away. “I’m really not feeling well.”

“You want to go lie down?”

“Not really,” I say, squinting my eyes from the sudden headache. “But I probably should.”

“It was too much, maybe?” He picks me up and carries me towards the stairs, climbing them easily. He takes me into the bedroom and sets me down on the bed. “I’ll stay with you if you want.”

I nod and close my eyes as soon as my head rests on the soft pillow. “I feel a little better already.”

He pulls his thermal shirt over his head and throws it on the floor, then kicks off his boots and goes to work on mine. They drop with a thud. I study him as he stands at the end of the bed. He’s hard to ignore. Perfect, really. His muscles are cut into his body like a statue’s, hard as stone.

Which is how I’d have described his personality as well, a few days ago. But now I’m not sure what to make of that mind of his. The killer part of him I can accept. And this tender part, the part that wants to fuck me softly—I’d like to accept that too.

But right now something feels wrong.

He crawls up the bed, his hands and knees on either side of me. And for a moment, when I look into those blazing amber eyes, I see him as the predator he is. My whole body trembles.

Then his hand is on my stomach, underneath my shirt that belongs to him. And the coldness I’ve imagined is not there. He is warm. And he smiles at me. I take a deep breath, not sure I want to do this stuff in the light. The darkness hides me. I like it. But the sun is streaming through the large windows that have the same view as the crow’s nest and it makes me self-conscious.

“Want me to stop?” he asks.

“No,” I whisper. I want to keep him forever. But even though he’s been nice and I don’t think he wants to hurt me, he’s flashing a red danger sign right now.

“Relax,” he says, lifting my shirt up so he can kiss my stomach. “And tell me what you want.”

“I want to be sure.”

“Of what?”

“That you’re real, and this isn’t a trick.”

“Why would I trick you?”

“Because you need information.”

“You said you don’t have it.”

“I know, but—”

He stares at me. “But what?”

“But you don’t believe me.” And then I take a deep breath and gather my nerve. “Do you believe me?”

He goes back to kissing me. He makes me feel like I’m being tortured with pleasure as he licks a small circle around my nipple, gently squeezing the other one at the same time, until they are both erect and tingling. He scoots up a little and takes his kisses to my neck. “Do you think I’ll hurt you, Syd?” His hot breath makes the words skim across my skin. I feel like I’m floating.

“Not physically. Not anymore.” I say. My head is spinning again, not the same way it was downstairs. “But—”

His mouth steals my words and even though I have this pressing need to know if he’s genuine, I give up. I just give up and kiss him back.

It’s a long, slow kiss that makes my heart ache. It’s a sad kiss. One that has so much meaning, I can barely breathe. I want him to be real so bad. “You were always in my head, Case. You came to me in a dream and told me how to survive. You taught me to fish and hunt. But it wasn’t about fishing and hunting. It was you, splitting my mind into yet another piece. Not the way Garrett did it, with fear and threats, but with smiles and sunshine. It was you I dreamed about when he made me do things.”

“He brainwashed you, Syd. We’ve been over this. He told you a lot of things.” Case unbuttons my jeans and then sits up and drags them down my legs, tossing them onto the floor with my boots. And then his warm chest covers my cold one and never have I ever wanted to hug a man like I do this man right now. I wrap my arms around him and pull him close. “He gave you triggers, Sydney. Little things that only you know about. Words like bobcat.”

“And hush,” I say.

“No, cowgirl. Not hush. But there are more things I need to know. More words and symbols that hold his secrets. Do you remember any of them?”

“I feel like I’m floating.”

“Shhh, Sydney. Try to answer my question. Do you know of any more words or symbols that he planted in your head to make you do things? He might want you to hurt me, for instance. Did he give you a word that would make you hurt me?”

I’m flying. I’m high up in the clouds. I can barely open my eyes.

Case is on top of me and we are naked. “I want you,” I say. It comes out like an echo in my head. I’m not even sure if I said it out loud. “I want that soft fuck again, so bad.”

He spreads my legs and hikes one knee up to my chest, the tip of his cock pressing against my clit. It feels so fucking good. “You need me to fuck you, Syd? To remember what he said?”

I can’t answer that. “My stomach hurts.”

“He planted a trigger that makes you sick, Sydney. If you talk about it.”

“I feel so weird.”

“Concentrate now, OK? Did he tell you where he was? He came to you, remember? All those years you thought he was missing, he came to you.”

“I don’t think he did.”

“You told me he did, Sydney. You told me a lot of things when I had you under the drugs the last time. So you don’t need to pretend anymore. Just tell me where he is.”