“What’s the deal?” I whisper, nudging her.

Lila has just flipped her hair. And I don’t think she did it ironically. To my astonishment, color touches her pale cheeks. “What? He’s cute. You don’t mind, right?”

“No.” And I truly don’t.

Ryan’s my friend. He always has been. And, yes, he screwed things up, but I’m glad I listened to my aunt when she advised me not to let the silence run too long. I will always love his stories. Right now, he’s telling a convoluted one about his mom, a squirrel, and a bird feeder. This shouldn’t be hilarious, but somehow it is. I’m overwhelmed by the urge to hug them all, because they’re here, and I have friends, and considering what my life was like three years ago, this seems flipping miraculous.

Ryan finishes the story, and we’re all cracking up, but I have this pinch in my heart, like moments this beautiful just can’t last.

“You okay, Sage?” Shane asks, as we step up to the ticket counter.

For him, I muster a smile and put aside my dark thoughts. “I’m perfect.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

In early December, the first snow falls, and it’s cold enough to stick around. I don’t even mind, though the ice makes biking tough. There’s nothing more depressing than dead grass and bare, wet trees in winter. Snow covers all the bad stuff, making the world fresh and clean.

A while ago, using my awesome Google-fu, I tracked down the guy who owns the land we cleared in the fall. He’s in a nursing home, which is why he hasn’t done anything with the property. When he dies, his grandchildren will inherit, but until then, he signs a paper granting us permission to plant a garden for the beautification of the town. I’m exuberant when I come out of the old folks home and swing onto my bike. Green World will be pleased at our next meeting.

Sure enough, on Wednesday, Gwen nominates me as MVP, though that’s not something we’ve ever done before. She also takes charge from there. “We’ll need donations from various merchants, so we’re ready in the spring. We’ll need seeds and seedlings, fertilizer, topsoil…”

Briskly, she divides up the responsibilities between us, and we’re left with the joyous prospect of begging for handouts at the holidays. I feel like I need to point that out. “Christmas is in a couple of weeks, and the stores will be really busy. Doesn’t it make sense to wait until after the holiday rush?”

“Yeah,” Ryan says. “I say we start this in January.”

Conrad surprises me by siding with us. “Agreed. We can’t even start working on the garden until spring. If we plant too soon, frost will kill everything.”

“Then what do you propose we do in December?” Gwen wants to know.

“Canned food drive,” Tara suggests. The sophomores, who are usually quiet at these meetings, nod in agreement. Thus encouraged, she continues, “I know it’s not exactly green, but it’s right to help others at the holidays, you know?”

“Seconded,” Kenny says.

We vote and in the end, most of us are on board with the canned food drive. Since the recycling effort went well, we have the process in place already. I just need to find a teacher willing to sponsor this one and grant extra credit.

I do the cleanup, like usual, and this time, Shane, Ryan, and Lila all stay to help; it goes much faster. The librarian isn’t even turning off the lights when we head downstairs. I wave to Miss Martha, who smiles at me. This makes me wonder if she felt sorry for me before, forever alone and stuck with the janitorial work. Ryan detours to the bathroom.

“Who do you think?” I ask Shane and Lila as we step outside.

“About what teacher might go for the project?” he asks.

“The home ec lady,” Lila jokes.

“So few people take that class … I don’t think that would help much.”

“Probably not,” Shane says.

Ryan catches up with us at a run. “You guys want to come to my place for a while?”

I check the time and shake my head. “By the time I get home, it’ll be late. Thanks, though.”

“I’ll come,” Lila says. “If you can give me a ride home.”

“Not a problem. My car’s this way.”

Ryan and Lila wave as they stroll toward the parking lot; his parents bought him a car in payment for his good grades. I mean, it’s not that I want a car, unless it’s an electric one, but if I did, I’d have to save every penny for a year. Shane brushes the hair away from my face, tugging on my knit hat. “I should get moving, too. At this rate, it’ll be past nine when I get home.”

In answer, I raise up on tiptoe for a kiss. His arms go around me, and he holds me as if it’s hard for him to let me go. He’s warm against the night chill; for a few seconds, I relax in his arms, relishing Shane’s familiar scent. I give him another kiss, then step back. He grimaces, but we put on the stupid reflective tape together.

“When we met a few months ago, I never would’ve believed you’d get me doing this, too.”

“You probably thought I was a total weirdo.”

He thinks about that. “No. Just … cautious, I guess. And I had no reason to be.”

“You do now. So be careful.”

“I will,” he promises.

The canned food drive goes surprisingly well. People at school are actually taking notice of Green World, and we acquire a few new members. I’m not sure if the interest will last into the new year, but it’s helping now. We wind up collecting nearly a thousand cans for a local aid program, and Principal Warick commends us at an assembly, where Gwen gives a speech and accepts the certificate on behalf of the whole club.

But a week later, the universe slams on the brakes. Apparently we’re spending winter break with Gabby’s aunt Helen. It’s a five-hour trip, and I’m not technically related to this old woman since she’s connected to my aunt’s mom. I protest at first, until Aunt Gabby gives me a reproachful look.

“She’s been asking us to visit for two years, and I’ve been putting her off…” She doesn’t say it, but I hear it. Because of you. “Anyway, this year, I don’t want her to be alone on Christmas, Sage. It could be her last.”

But what about Shane, I want to say, but my aunt doesn’t know his circumstances; she doesn’t realize that his dad hasn’t been to the trailer since he bought it. She can’t know. Which means there’s no point in arguing. As far as she’s concerned, he’ll be spending the holidays with his dad. And he would be, if his father wasn’t such a coward. Besides, Shane’s loneliness isn’t more pressing than Aunt Helen’s. I resign myself to the inevitable.

“When are we leaving?” I ask.

“You get out of school on the twenty-second?”

“I think so.”

“Then we’ll head out the twenty-third.”

“When are we coming back?”

“January second. It will be safer to avoid the New Year’s traffic.”

Though I don’t say anything, I’m quietly crushed. I’ve always wanted to kiss somebody on New Year’s Eve, and this time, I want to start the New Year with Shane. But there’s one more tactic I can try.

“Won’t you miss Joe?” I ask her.

She sighs. “Of course. But I haven’t seen Aunt Helen in years. Hopefully he’ll be around for a while. She may not be.”

There’s that old superstition about whatever you’re doing on New Year’s Day, that’s how it’ll be all year. So people try to avoid conflict and spend time with their loved ones. In my case, it looks like I’ll be sad, lonely, and wishing I was somewhere else.

I’m not looking forward to this trip, but when the time comes, I pack my bag and trudge out of the house with my aunt. She pauses at her car with a faint sigh.

“It’d be a lot easier if you would road trip,” she tells me with a flicker of impatience.

I brighten immediately. “I’m happy to stay home.”

“I don’t care if it’s more work, that’s not happening.”

I sigh and follow her down the driveway. Greyhound stops at the gas station, and from there, we ride to the train station an hour away. I don’t object to public transportation since the system moves a lot of people; it’s less wasteful. My idiosyncrasies stretch a five-hour trip to eight, by the time you factor our trip on the local bus that carries us relatively near Great Aunt Helen’s apartment. Gabby is rumpled and grouchy when we arrive.