“There’s a college in Maine that looks right for me.”

“What do you plan to study?” Mrs. Tremaine asks.

“Adventure-based education.”

I can see they have no idea what I’m talking about, so I try to explain, and now Mr. Tremaine is frowning. “That sounds like you want to be a camp counselor.”

“Dad,” Lila protests.

“It’s okay.” For the rest of the meal, I clarify the difference—and about how we can change the world if people are taught young about conservation, green practices, and natural resources when they’re young.

Mr. Tremaine gives a grudging nod. “That’s true. If there had been a program like that at school when we were growing up, it wouldn’t have taken us so long to start recycling.”

“Exactly.”

When we ask to be excused and I follow Lila to her room, she’s looking at me like I’m magical. “I’ve never gotten my dad to see my point of view on anything.”

“Did you really try, or did you stomp off when he failed to get it the first time?”

“Shut up,” she mutters.

We work on homework—and gossip—until eight, then I cover myself in reflective tape. She shakes her head at me. “There’s no way I’d be seen like that, dude. I’d just get in a car even if it violated all my principles.”

I ignore that. “Night. Thanks for having me over.”

“You already said nice things to my parents. It’s cool.”

She stands in the doorway, watching until I turn the corner. It’s not a long way from her house, but I’m nervous, mostly because I’m keeping an eye out for Dylan’s truck. When I ride onto our gravel drive, my heart is racing. I hate that I’ve let him make me feel this way; I remember what it’s like to live with fear constantly gnawing at you, and I refuse to go back. After stowing my bike in the shed, I slide in the back door. Thoughtfully, my aunt has left a snack on a plate for me.

I carry it into the living room, where she’s watching a movie on DVD. “Have fun?”

“Yeah, it was fine. Lila’s mom doesn’t cook as well as you, though.”

Aunt Gabby grins. “Flattery will get you everywhere.”

“How are things going with Joe?”

“Really well,” she answers, both surprised and cautious. “He’s a great guy. Funny. Quirky.”

“Quirky how?”

“Well … he’s a huge Star Trek fan. Not the original, The Next Generation. Apparently he has a Star Fleet uniform that he wears to sci-fi conventions.”

“Really?” I have no idea why, but I’m startled to learn this. Joe is a fairly big guy, good build, and he looks somewhat athletic. Plus, he drives a silver Ford. In other words, he’s a pretty standard manly man, and I’m delighted to find out he’s a secret geek.

“Yep. I told him I’ll go to Indy with him this summer for GenCon.”

Whoa. If she’s willing to make plans ten months out, things must be going extremely well. “I haven’t talked to him that much, but I like him.”

“He holds up to closer scrutiny,” she says, then she laughs, because she seems to realize how suggestive that sounds.

We talk a little more about Joe, then she asks, “How’re you doing with Shane?”

“Good. We’ve had a few hiccups, but nothing serious.”

“I’d be surprised if you didn’t.” There’s no way to be sure what she means, whether she’s talking about my past or the fact that I haven’t dated much.

I lean toward the latter because Aunt Gabby tends not to rock the boat, where my dark side is concerned. She figures if the therapist said I had talked it all out, then it’s counterproductive to dredge it up again. I’m so grateful for that. It doesn’t help to have it on my mind constantly. I’m coping. Time is supposed to make things easier, so I just need to breathe and wait.

“He’s wonderful,” I say softly.

That word doesn’t begin to encompass him. I eat the cheese, crackers, and fruit while she tells me about the weekend Joe has planned. “He wants to take me to Chicago, get tickets for the theater, but I’m not sure—”

“If you should leave me for that long?” I can practically read her mind.

“Yeah,” she admits.

“I can probably stay one night with Lila if that would make you feel better. And you’ll be back on Sunday, right?” I can’t imagine that she’s considering a long holiday. My aunt hasn’t taken a vacation as long as I’ve lived with her.

“That sounds good.” From her expression, she’s relieved. She’s apparently okay with letting me stay one night alone, but two makes her feel neglectful, I guess.

“He’s buttering you up so you’ll be willing to go to sci-fi conventions, huh?”

Aunt Gabby smirks. “That’s a possibility.”

“Heh. I’ll talk to Lila. When are you going?”

“In a month or so, the weekend before Thanksgiving.”

Which means it’s almost Halloween. The warm weather won’t last too much longer; it’s weird, some years, the trick-or-treaters need to bundle up over their costumes, and other times, it’s so warm, it almost feels like summer. I wonder how it’ll be this time. Not that I go out—I generally stay home and give out candy. I tease Aunt Gabby about giving away that sugary junk, but she just grins and says she doesn’t want her house egged or her trees TP’d.

The rest of the week, school is quiet. If I was skittish, I’d say too much so. Because I notice Dylan watching me, but he doesn’t make a move. I go about my business: planning the recycling drive, working, seeing Shane, doing homework. And I leave cheerful Post-its on people’s lockers, like usual. I’m walking with a little more swagger these days instead of rushing around with my head down. Maybe it’s my new attitude that results in so many people talking to me between class. Whatever the reason, I like the change.

Friday morning, Shane’s escorting me to my first class. “You wanna do something tonight?”

Duh.

“Yeah. Our choices are limited, though.”

“I’d kinda like to hang out at your place if that’s cool.”

“Sure. If you want, come over after school.” That will save him a ten-mile round trip.

“I’ll meet you at our locker, then.” He drops me off at my classroom with a kiss on the forehead. A teacher catches it, but since it isn’t mouth-to-mouth contact, she contents herself with a frown.

Lunch is weird. Ryan pulls up a chair, joining us at the new integrated table. Things are a little crowded, but people are talking a lot about the recycling drive, so it’s not awkward. Gwen has talked her dad into sponsoring the operation, so he’s permitting people to drop off stuff at his hardware store, and she’s even gotten him to rent some proper containers.

“We’ll need people to ferry stuff over from the school,” Tara is saying.

Kenny immediately volunteers his mom’s minivan to earn a smile from Tara. Then he starts texting, which makes me think that his mom knows nothing about this. I stifle a smirk.

“So what’re you doing tonight?” Lila asks, as the others discuss Green World stuff.

“Hanging out with Shane.”

“Oh.”

I swear she looks disappointed. Now I’m torn. I don’t want to be one of those girls who gets a boyfriend and stops hanging out with her friends. Hoping Shane will understand, I say, “Do you want to come over? We’re probably going to watch a movie.”

She arches a brow at me. “Sounds awesome. I love preventing people from making out.”

Before I can think better of the impulse, I nudge Ryan with an elbow. “Wanna do movie night? Shane and Lila are coming.”

“Usual time?”

I nod. Only then do I look at Shane, as our date has doubled. “Hope this is okay,” I whisper.

“Too late to be asking now.” But he doesn’t look mad.

I realize I’ve done it again, made plans without asking him. I’m just not used to being half of anything. When I spent all my time with Ryan, we were a closed circle that didn’t let anyone else in.

“I’ll make it up to you.” I whisper the promise. Both his brows go up, then my face heats like a radiator. “I mean. Uhm. We can do something, just us, before you go to work on Saturday? I can make a picnic if the weather’s nice, and we can eat in the park.”