As all impediments in fancy’s course

Are motives of more fancy; and in fine

Her inf’nite cunning with her modern grace

Subdued me to her rate. She got the ring,

And I had that which my inferior might

At market price have bought.

DIANA

I must be patient.

You that have turned off a first so noble wife

May justly diet me. I pray you yet—

Since you lack virtue I will lose a husband—

Send for your ring, I will return it home,

And give me mine again.

BERTRAM I have it not.

KING (to Diana) What ring was yours, I pray you?

DIANA

Sir, much like the same upon your finger.

KING

Know you this ring? This ring was his of late.

DIANA

And this was it I gave him being abed.

KING

The story then goes false you threw it him

Out of a casement?

DIANA

I have spoke the truth.

Enter Paroles

BERTRAM (to the King)

My lord, I do confess the ring was hers.

KING

You boggle shrewdly; every feather starts you.—

Is this the man you speak of?

DIANA

Ay, my lord.

KING (to Paroles)

Tell me, sirrah—but tell me true, I charge you,

Not fearing the displeasure of your master,

Which on your just proceeding I’ll keep off—

By him and by this woman here what know you?

PAROLES So please your majesty, my master hath been an honourable gentleman. Tricks he hath had in him which gentlemen have.

KING

Come, come, to th’ purpose. Did he love this woman?

PAROLES Faith, sir, he did love her, but how?

KING How, I pray you?

PAROLES He did love her, sir, as a gentleman loves a woman.

KING How is that?

PAROLES He loved her, sir, and loved her not.

KING As thou art a knave and no knave. What an equivocal companion is this!

PAROLES I am a poor man, and at your majesty’s command.

LAFEU (to the King) He’s a good drum, my lord, but a naughty orator.

DIANA (to Paroles) Do you know he promised me marriage?

PAROLES Faith, I know more than I’ll speak.

KING But wilt thou not speak all thou know’st?

PAROLES Yes, so please your majesty. I did go between them, as I said; but more than that, he loved her, for indeed he was mad for her and talked of Satan and of limbo and of Furies and I know not what. Yet I was in that credit with them at that time that I knew of their going to bed and of other motions, as promising her marriage and things which would derive me ill will to speak of. Therefore I will not speak what I know.

KING Thou hast spoken all already, unless thou canst say they are married. But thou art too fine in thy evidence, therefore stand aside.—

This ring you say was yours.

DIANA

Ay, my good lord.

KING

Where did you buy it? Or who gave it you?

DIANA

It was not given me, nor I did not buy it.

KING

Who lent it you?

DIANA

It was not lent me neither.

KING

Where did you find it then?

DIANA

I found it not.

KING

If it were yours by none of all these ways,

How could you give it him?

DIANA

I never gave it him.

LAFEU (to the King) This woman’s an easy glove, my lord, she goes off and on at pleasure.

KING (to Diana)

This ring was mine. I gave it his first wife.

DIANA

It might be yours or hers for aught I know.

KING (to attendants)

Take her away, I do not like her now.

To prison with her. And away with him.—

Unless thou tell’st me where thou hadst this ring

Thou diest within this hour.

DIANA

I’ll never tell you.

KING (to attendants)

Take her away.

DIANA

I’ll put in bail, my liege.

KING

I think thee now some common customer.

DIANA

By Jove, if ever I knew man ’twas you.

KING

Wherefore hast thou accused him all this while?

DIANA

Because he’s guilty, and he is not guilty.

He knows I am no maid, and he’ll swear to’t;

I’ll swear I am a maid, and he knows not.

Great King, I am no strumpet; by my life,

I am either maid or else this old man’s wife.

KING (to attendants)

She does abuse our ears. To prison with her.

DIANA

Good mother, fetch my bail.

Exit Widow

Stay, royal sir.

The jeweller that owes the ring is sent for,

And he shall surety me. But for this lord,

Who hath abused me as he knows himself,

Though yet he never harmed me, here I quit him.

He knows himself my bed he hath defiled,

And at that time he got his wife with child.

Dead though she be she feels her young one kick.

So there’s my riddle; one that’s dead is quick.

And now behold the meaning.

Enter Helen and the Widow

KING

Is there no exorcist

Beguiles the truer office of mine eyes?

Is’t real that I see?

HELEN

No, my good lord,

’Tis but the shadow of a wife you see,

The name and not the thing.

BERTRAM

Both, both. O, pardon!

HELEN

O, my good lord, when I was like this maid

I found you wondrous kind. There is your ring.

And, look you, here’s your letter. This it says:

‘When from my finger you can get this ring,

And are by me with child,’ et cetera. This is done.

Will you be mine now you are doubly won?

BERTRAM (to the King)

If she, my liege, can make me know this clearly

I’ll love her dearly, ever ever dearly.

HELEN

If it appear not plain and prove untrue,

Deadly divorce step between me and you.—

O my dear mother, do I see you living?

LAFEU

Mine eyes smell onions, I shall weep anon.

(To Paroles) Good Tom Drum, lend me a handkerchief.

So, I thank thee. Wait on me home, I’ll make sport

with thee. Let thy curtsies alone, they are scurvy ones.

KING (to Helen)

Let us from point to point this story know

To make the even truth in pleasure flow.

(To Diana) If thou be‘st yet a fresh uncroppèd flower,

Choose thou thy husband and I’ll pay thy dower.

For I can guess that by thy honest aid