TIMON

Why dost thou call them knaves? Thou know’st them

not.

APEMANTUS Are they not Athenians?

TIMON Yes.

APEMANTUS Then I repent not.

JEWELLER You know me, Apemantus?

APEMANTUS

Thou know’st I do. I called thee by thy name.

TIMON Thou art proud, Apemantus!

APEMANTUS Of nothing so much as that I am not like Timon.

TIMON Whither art going?

APEMANTUS To knock out an honest Athenian’s brains.

TIMON That’s a deed thou’It die for.

APEMANTUS Right, if doing nothing be death by th’ law.

TIMON

How likest thou this picture, Apemantus?

APEMANTUS The best for the innocence.

TIMON

Wrought he not well that painted it?

APEMANTUS He wrought better that made the painter, and yet he’s but a filthy piece of work.

PAINTER You’re a dog.

APEMANTUS Thy mother’s of my generation. What’s she, if I be a dog?

TIMON Wilt dine with me, Apemantus?

APEMANTUS No, I eat not lords.

TIMON An thou shouldst, thou’dst anger ladies.

APEMANTUS O, they eat lords. So they come by great bellies.

TIMON

That’s a lascivious apprehension.

APEMANTUS

So thou apprehend’st it; take it for thy labour.

TIMON

How dost thou like this jewel, Apemantus?

APEMANTUS Not so well as plain dealing, which will not cost a man a doit.

TIMON

What dost thou think ’tis worth?

APEMANTUS Not worth my thinking.

How now, poet?

POET How now, philosopher?

APEMANTUS Thou liest.

POET Art not one?

APEMANTUS Yes.

POET Then I lie not.

APEMANTUS Art not a poet?

POET Yes.

APEMANTUS Then thou liest. Look in thy last work, where thou hast feigned him a worthy fellow.

POET That’s not feigned, he is so.

APEMANTUS Yes, he is worthy of thee, and to pay thee for thy labour. He that loves to be flattered is worthy o’th’ flatterer. Heavens, that I were a lord!

TIMON What wouldst do then, Apemantus?

APEMANTUS E’en as Apemantus does now: hate a lord with my heart.

TIMON What, thyself?

APEMANTUS Ay.

TIMON Wherefore?

APEMANTUS That I had no augury but to be a lord.-Art not thou a merchant?

MERCHANT Ay, Apemantus.

APEMANTUS

Traffic confound thee, if the gods will not!

MERCHANT If traffic do it, the gods do it.

APEMANTUS

Traffic’s thy god, and thy god confound thee!

Trumpet sounds. Enter a Messenger

TIMON What trumpet’s that?

MESSENGER

’Tis Alcibiades, and some twenty horse

All of companionship.

TIMON (to Servants)

Pray entertain them. Give them guide to us.

[Exit one or more Servants]

[To Jeweller] You must needs dine with me.

[To Poet] Go not you hence

Till I have thanked you. [To Painter] When dinner’s done

Show me this piece. [To all] I am joyful of your sights.

Enter Alcibiades with [his horsemen]

Most welcome, sir!

APEMANTUS [aside] So, so, there.

Aches contract and starve your supple joints!

That there should be small love ’mongst these sweet

knaves,

And all this courtesy! The strain of man’s bred out

Into baboon and monkey.

ALCIBIADES (to Timon)

Sir, you have saved my longing, and I feed

Most hungrily on your sight.

TIMON Right welcome, sir!

Ere we depart, we’ll share a bounteous time

In different pleasures. Pray you, let us in.

Exeunt all but Apemantus

Enter two Lords

FIRST LORD

What time o’ day is’t, Apemantus?

APEMANTUS

Time to be honest.

FIRST LORD That time serves still.

APEMANTUS

The most accursed thou, that still omitt’st it.

SECOND LORD

Thou art going to Lord Timon’s feast?

APEMANTUS

Ay, to see meat fill knaves, and wine heat fools.

SECOND LORD Fare thee well, fare thee well.

APEMANTUS

Thou art a fool to bid me farewell twice.

SECOND LORD Why, Apemantus?

APEMANTUS Shouldst have kept one to thyself, for I mean to give thee none.

FIRST LORD Hang thyself

APEMANTUS No, I will do nothing at thy bidding. Make thy requests to thy friend.

SECOND LORD Away, unpeaceable dog, or I’ll spurn thee hence.

APEMANTUS I will fly, like a dog, the heels o’th’ ass.

Exit

FIRST LORD

He’s opposite to humanity. Come, shall we in,

And taste Lord Timon’s bounty? He outgoes

The very heart of kindness.

SECOND LORD

He pours it out. Plutus the god of gold

Is but his steward; no meed but he repays

Sevenfold above itself; no gift to him

But breeds the giver a return exceeding

All use of quittance.

FIRST LORD The noblest mind he carries

That ever governed man.

SECOND LORD

Long may he live in fortunes! Shall we in?

⌈FIRST LORD⌉ I’ll keep you company. Exeunt

1.2 Hautboys playing loud music. A great banquet served in, ⌈Flavius and Servants attending⌉; and then enter Timon, Alcibiades, the Senators, the Athenian Lords, and Ventidius which Timon redeemed from prison. Then comes, dropping after all, Apemantus, discontentedly, like himself

VENTIDIUS

Most honoured Timon, it hath pleased the gods to

remember

My father’s age and call him to long peace.

He is gone happy, and has left me rich.

Then, as in grateful virtue I am bound

To your free heart, I do return those talents,

Doubled with thanks and service, from whose help

I derived liberty.

TIMON O, by no means,

Honest Ventidius. You mistake my love.

I gave it freely ever, and there’s none

Can truly say he gives if he receives.

If our betters play at that game, we must not dare

To imitate them. Faults that are rich are fair.

VENTIDIUS

A noble spirit!

⌈The Lords stand with ceremony⌉

TIMON Nay, my lords,

Ceremony was but devised at first

To set a gloss on faint deeds, hollow welcomes,

Recanting goodness, sorry ere ’tis shown;

But where there is true friendship, there needs none.

Pray sit. More welcome are ye to my fortunes

Than my fortunes to me.

⌈They sit⌉

FIRST LORD

My lord, we always have confessed it.

APEMANTUS

Ho, ho, confessed it? Hanged it, have you not?

TIMON

O, Apemantus! You are welcome.

APEMANTUS No,

You shall not make me welcome.

I come to have thee thrust me out of doors.

TIMON

Fie, thou‘rt a churl. Ye’ve got a humour there