As e’er my conversation coped withal.

HORATIO

O my dear lord—

HAMLET

Nay, do not think I flatter;

For what advancement may I hope from thee,

That no revenue hast but thy good spirits

To feed and clothe thee? Why should the poor be

flattered?

No, let the candied tongue lick absurd pomp,

And crook the pregnant hinges of the knee

Where thrift may follow feigning. Dost thou hear?—

Since my dear soul was mistress of her choice

And could of men distinguish, her election

Hath sealed thee for herself; for thou hast been

As one in suff‘ring all that suffers nothing,

A man that Fortune’s buffets and rewards

Hath ta’en with equal thanks; and blest are those

Whose blood and judgement are so well commingled

That they are not a pipe for Fortune’s finger

To sound what stop she please. Give me that man

That is not passion’s slave, and I will wear him

In my heart’s core, ay, in my heart of heart,

As I do thee. Something too much of this.

There is a play tonight before the King.

One scene of it comes near the circumstance

Which I have told thee of my father’s death.

I prithee, when thou seest that act afoot,

Even with the very comment of thy soul

Observe mine uncle. If his occulted guilt

Do not itself unkennel in one speech,

It is a damned ghost that we have seen,

And my imaginations are as foul

As Vulcan’s stithy. Give him heedful note,

For I mine eyes will rivet to his face,

And after, we will both our judgements join

To censure of his seeming.

HORATIO Well, my lord.

If a steal aught the whilst this play is playing

And scape detecting, I will pay the theft.

⌈Sound a flourish⌉

HAMLET

They are coming to the play. I must be idle.

Get you a place.

⌈Danish march. Enter King Claudius, Queen

Gertrude, Polonius, Ophelia, Rosencrantz,

Guildenstern, and other lords attendant, with the

King’s guard carrying torches⌉

KING CLAUDIUS How fares our cousin Hamlet?

HAMLET Excellent, i’faith, of the chameleon’s dish. I eat the air, promise-crammed. You cannot feed capons so.

KING CLAUDIUS I have nothing with this answer, Hamlet.

These words are not mine.

HAMLET No, nor mine now. (To Polonius) My lord, you played once i’th’ university, you say.

POLONIUS That I did, my lord, and was accounted a good actor.

HAMLET And what did you enact?

POLONIUS I did enact Julius Caesar. I was killed i’th’ Capitol. Brutus killed me.

HAMLET It was a brute part of him to kill so capital a calf there.—Be the players ready?

ROSENCRANTZ Ay, my lord, they stay upon your patience.

QUEEN GERTRUDE

Come hither, my good Hamlet. Sit by me.

HAMLET No, good-mother, here’s mettle more attractive.

He sits by Ophelia

POLONTUS (aside) O ho, do you mark that?

HAMLET (to Ophelia) Lady, shall I lie in your lap?

OPHELIA No, my lord.

HAMLET I mean my head upon your lap?

OPHELIA Ay, my lord.

HAMLET Do you think I meant country matters?

OPHELIA I think nothing, my lord.

HAMLET That’s a fair thought to lie between maids’ legs.

OPHELIA What is, my lord?

HAMLET No thing.

OPHELIA You are merry, my lord.

HAMLET Who, I?

OPHELIA Ay, my lord.

HAMLET O God, your only jig-maker! What should a man do but be merry? For look you how cheerfully my mother looks, and my father died within ’s two hours.

OPHELIA Nay, ’tis twice two mqnths, my lord. 122

HAMLET So long? Nay then, let the devil wear black, for I’ll have a suit of sables. O heavens, die two months ago and not forgotten yet! Then there’s hope a great man’s memory may outlive his life half a year. But, by‘r Lady, a must build churches then, or else shall a suffer not thinking on, with the hobby-horse, whose epitaph is ‘For O, for O, the hobby-horse is forgot.’

Hautboys play. The dumb show enters. Enter a King and a Queen very lovingly, the Queen embracing him. She kneels and makes show of protestation unto him. He takes her up and declines his head upon her neck. He lays him down upon a bank of flowers. She, seeing him asleep, leaves him. Anon comes in a fellow, takes off his crown, kisses it, and pours poison in the King’s ears, and exits. The Queen returns, finds the King dead, and makes passionate action. The poisoner, with some two or three mutes, comes in again, seeming to lament with her. The dead body is carried away. The poisoner woos the Queen with gifts. She seems loath and unwilling a while, but in the end accepts his love. Exeunt the Players

OPHELIA What means this, my lord?

HAMLET Marry, this is miching malhecho. That means mischief.

OPHELIA Belike this show imports the argument of the play. Enter Prologue

HAMLET We shall know by this fellow. The players cannot keep counsel, they’ll tell all.

OPHELIA Will a tell us what this show meant?

HAMLET Ay, or any show that you’ll show him. Be not you ashamed to show, he’ll not shame to tell you what it means.

OPHELIA You are naught, you are naught. I’ll mark the play.

PROLOGUE

For us and for our tragedy

Here stooping to your clemency,

We beg your hearing patiently. Exit

HAMLET Is this a prologue, or the posy of a ring?

OPHELIA ’Tis brief, my lord.

HAMLET As woman’s love.

Enter the Player King and his Queen

PLAYER KING

Full thirty times hath Phoebus’ cart gone round

Neptune’s salt wash and Tellus’ orbèd ground,

And thirty dozen moons with borrowed sheen

About the world have times twelve thirties been

Since love our hearts and Hymen did our hands

Unite commutual in most sacred bands.

PLAYER QUEEN

So many journeys may the sun and moon

Make us again count o’er ere love be done.

But woe is me, you are so sick of late,

So far from cheer and from your former state,

That I distrust you. Yet, though I distrust,