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BARBARA Dolly: you are breaking my heart.

CUSINS What is a broken heart more or less here? Dionysos Undershaft has descended. I am possessed.

MRS. BAINES Come, Barbara: I must have my dear Major to carry the flag with me.

JENNY Yes, yes, Major darling.

CUSINS (snatches the tambourine out of JENNY’s hand and mutely offers it to BARBARA]

BARBARA (coming forward a little as she puts the offer behind her with a shudder, whilst CUSINS recklessly tosses the tambourine back to JENNY and goes to the gate] I cant come.

JENNY Not come!

MRS. BAINES [with tears in her eyes] Barbara: do you think I am wrong to take the money?

BARBARA [impulsively going to her and kissing her] No, no: God help you, dear, you must: you are saving the Army. Go; and may you have a great meeting!

JENNY But arnt you coming?

BARBARA No. [She begins taking off the silver S brooch from her collar. ]

MRS. BAINES Barbara: what are you doing?

JENNY Why are you taking your badge off? You cant be going to leave us, Major.

BARBARA [quietly] Father: come here.

UNDERSHAFT [coming to her] My dear! [Seeing that she is going to pin the badge on his collar, he retreats to the penthouse in some alarm. ]

BARBARA [following him] Dont be frightened. [She pins the badge on and steps back towards the table, shewing him to the others.] There! It’s not much for £5000, is it?

MRS. BAINES Barbara: if you wont come and pray with us, promise me you will pray for us.

BARBARA I cant pray now. Perhaps I shall never pray again.

MRS. BAINES Barbara!

JENNY Major!

BARBARA [almost delirious] I cant bear any more. Quick march!

CUSINS [calling to the procession in the street outside] Off we go. Play up, there! I m m e n s o g i u b i l o. [He gives the time with his drum; and the band strikes up the march, which rapidly becomes more distant as the procession moves briskly away.]{27}

MRS. BAINES I must go, dear. Youre overworked: you will be all right tomorrow. We’ll never lose you. Now Jenny: step out with the old flag. Blood and Fire! [She marches out through the gate with her, flag.]

JENNY Glory Hallelujah! [Flourishing her tambourine and marching. ]

UNDERSHAFT [to CUSINS, as he marches out past him easing the slide of his trombone] “My ducats and my daughter”!{28}

CUSINS [following him out] Money and gunpowder! BARBARA Drunkenness and Murder! My God: why hast thou forsaken me?[67]

She sinks on the form with her face buried in her hands. The march passes away into silence. BILL WALKER steals across to her.

BILL [taunting] Wot prawce Selvytion nah?

SHIRLEY Dont you hit her when shes down.

BILL She it me wen aw wiz dahn. Waw shouldnt I git a bit o me own back?

BARBARA (raising her head] I didnt take y o u r money, Bill. [She crosses the yard to the gate and turns her back on the two men to hide her face from them.]

BILL (sneering after her] Naow, it warnt enough for you. [Turning to the drum, he misses the money.] Ellow! If you aint took it sum mun else az. Weres it gorn? Blame me if Jenny III didnt take it arter all!

RUMMY (screaming at him from the loft] You lie, you dirty blackguard ! Snobby Price pinched it off the drum wen e took ap iz cap. I was ap ere all the time an see im do it.

BILL Wot! Stowl maw money! Waw didnt you call thief on him, you silly old mucker you?

RUMMY To serve you aht for ittin me acrost the fice. It’s cost y‘pahnd, that az. [Raising a p?an of squalid triumph.] I done you. I’m even with you. I ve ad it aht o y — [BILL snatches up SHIRLEY’s mug and hurls it at her. She slams the loft door and vanishes. The mug smashes against the door and falls in fragments.) {29}

BILL [beginning to chuckle] Tell us, ole man, wot o‘clock this mornin was it wen im as they call Snobby Prawce was sived?

BARBARA [turning to him more composedly, and with unspoiled sweetness] About half past twelve, Bill. And he pinched your pound at a quarter to two. I know. Well, you cant afford to lose it. I’ll send it to you.

BILL [his voice and accent suddenly improving) Not if I was to starve for it. I aint to be bought.

SHIRLEY Aint you?Youd sell yourself to the devil for a pint o beer; ony there aint no devil to make the offer.

BILL [unshamed] So I would, mate, and often av, cheerful. But she cawnt buy me. (Approaching BARBARA.] You wanted my soul, did you? Well, you aint got it.

BARBARA I nearly got it, Bill. But weve sold it back to you for ten thousand pounds.

SHIRLEY And dear at the money!

BARBARA No, Peter: it was worth more than money.

BILL (salvationproof] It’s no good: you cawnt get rahnd me nah. I dont blieve in it; and Ive seen today that I was right. [Going.] So long, old soupkitchener! Ta, ta, Major Earl’s Grendorter! [Turning at the gate.] Wot prawce Selvytion nah? Snobby Prawce! Ha! ha!

BARBARA [offering her hand] Goodbye, Bill.

BILL [taken aback, half plucks his cap off; then shoves it on again defiantly] Git aht. [BARBARA drops her hand, discouraged. He has a twinge of remorse.] But thets aw rawt, you knaow. Nathink pasnl. Naow mellice. So long, Judy. [He goes.]

BARBARA No malice. So long, Bill.

SHIRLEY [shaking his head] You make too much of him, Miss, in your innocence.

BARBARA [going to him] Peter: I’m like you now. Cleaned out, and lost my job.

SHIRLEY Youve youth an hope. Thats two better than me.

BARBARA I’ll get you a job, Peter. Thats hope for you: the youth will have to be enough for me. [She counts her money.] I have just enough left for two teas at Lockharts,[68] a Rowton doss{30} for you, and my tram and bus home. [He frowns and rises with offended pride. She takes his arm.] Dont be proud, Peter: it’s sharing between friends. And promise me youll talk to me and not let me cry. [She draws him towards the gate. ]

SHIRLEY Well, I’m not accustomed to talk to the like of you —

BARBARA [urgently] Yes, yes: you must talk to me. Tell me about Tom Paine’s books and Bradlaugh’s lectures.{31} Come along.

SHIRLEY Ah, if you would only read Tom Paine in the proper spirit, Miss! [They go out through the gate together.]

END OF ACT II.

ACT III

Pygmalion and Three Other Plays i_007.jpg

Next day after lunch Lady Britomart is writing in the library in Wilton Crescent. Sarah is reading in the armchair near the window. Barbara, in ordinary dress, pale and brooding, is on the settee. Charles Lomax enters. Coming forward between the settee and the writing table, he starts on seeing Barbara fashionably attired and in low spirits.

LOMAX Youve left off your uniform!

BARBARA says nothing ; but an expression of pain passes over her face.

LADY BRITOMART (warning him in low tones to be careful] Charles!

LOMAX [much concerned, sitting down sympathetically on the settee beside BARBARA] I’m awfully sorry, Barbara. You know I helped you all I could with the concertina and so forth. [Momentously.] Still, I have never shut my eyes to the fact that there is a certain amount of tosh about the Salvation Army. Now the claims of the Church of England —

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67

Barbara repeats Christ’s words of doubt just before He dies on the Cross (see the Bible, Matthew 27:46).

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68

The 1905 equivalent of a fast-food restaurant.