ELIZA takes a piece of needlework from her basket, and begins to stitch at it, without taking the least notice of this outburst.
MRS. HIGGINS Very nicely put, indeed, Henry. No woman could resist such an invitation.
HIGGINS You let her alone, mother. Let her speak for herself. You will jolly soon see whether she has an idea that I havnt put into her head or a word that I havnt put into her mouth. I tell you I have created this thing out of the squashed cabbage leaves of Covent Garden; and now she pretends to play the fine lady with me.
MRS. HIGGINS [placidly] Yes, dear; but youll sit down, wont you?
HIGGINS sits down again, savagely.
LIZA [to Pickering, taking no apparent notice of Higgins, and working away deftly] Will you drop me altogether now that the experiment is over, Colonel Pickering?
PICKERING Oh dont. You mustnt think of it as an experiment. It shocks me, somehow.
LIZA Oh, I’m only a squashed cabbage leaf —
PICKERING [impulsively] No.
LIZA [continuing quietly] — but I owe so much to you that I should be very unhappy if you forgot me.
PICKERING It’s very kind of you to say so, Miss Doolittle.
LIZA It’s not because you paid for my dresses. I know you are generous to everybody with money. But it was from you that I learnt really nice manners; and that is what makes one a lady, isnt it? You see it was so very difficult for me with the example of Professor Higgins always before me. I was brought up to be just like him, unable to control myself, and using bad language on the slightest provocation. And I should never have known that ladies and gentlemen didnt behave like that if you hadnt been there.
HIGGINS Well!!
PICKERING Oh, thats only his way, you know. He doesnt mean it.
LIZA Oh, I didnt mean it either, when I was a flower girl. It was only my way. But you see I did it; and thats what makes the difference after all.
PICKERING No doubt. Still, he taught you to speak; and I couldnt have done that, you know.
LIZA [trivially] Of course: that is his profession.
HIGGINS Damnation!
LIZA [continuing] It was just like learning to dance in the fashionable way: there was nothing more than that in it. But do you know what began my real education?
PICKERING What?
LIZA [stopping her work for a moment] Your calling me Miss Doolittle that day when I first came to Wimpole Street. That was the beginning of self-respect for me. [She resumes her stitching ]. And there were a hundred little things you never noticed, because they came naturally to you. Things about standing up and taking off your hat and opening door —
PICKERING Oh, that was nothing.
LIZA Yes: things that shewed you thought and felt about me as if I were something better than a scullery-maid; though of course I know you would have been just the same to a scullery-maid if she had been let in the drawing-room. You never took off your boots in the dining room when I was there.
PICKERING You mustnt mind that. Higgins takes off his boots all over the place.
LIZA I know. I am not blaming him. It is his way, isnt it? But it made such a difference to me that you didnt do it.You see, really and truly, apart from the things anyone can pick up (the dressing and the proper way of speaking, and so on), the difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how shes treated. I shall always be a flower girl to Professor Higgins, because he always treats me as a flower girl, and always will; but I know I can be a lady to you, because you always treat me as a lady, and always will.
MRS. HIGGINS Please dont grind your teeth, Henry.
PICKERING Well, this is really very nice of you, Miss Doolittle.
LIZA I should like you to call me Eliza, now, if you would.
PICKERING Thank you. Eliza, of course.
LIZA And I should like Professor Higgins to call me Miss Doolittle.
HIGGINS I’ll see you damned first.
MRS. HIGGINS Henry! Henry!
PICKERING [laughing] Why dont you slang back at him? Dont stand it. It would do him a lot of good.
LIZA I cant. I could have done it once; but now I cant go back to it. Last night, when I was wandering about, a girl spoke to me; and I tried to get back into the old way with her; but it was no use. You told me, you know, that when a child is brought to a foreign country, it picks up the language in a few weeks, and forgets its own. Well, I am a child in your country. I have forgotten my own language, and can speak nothing but yours. Thats the real break-off with the corner of Tottenham Court Road. Leaving Wimpole Street finishes it.
PICKERING [much alarmed] Oh! but youre coming back to Wimpole Street, arnt you? Youll forgive Higgins?
HIGGINS [rising] Forgive! Will she, by George! Let her go. Let her find out how she can get on without us. She will relapse into the gutter in three weeks without me at her elbow. DOOLITTLE appears at the centre window. With a look of dignified reproach at HIGGINS, he comes slowly and silently to his daughter, who, with her back to the window, is unconscious of his approach.
PICKERING Hes incorrigible, Eliza. You wont relapse, will you?
LIZA No: Not now. Never again. I have learnt my lesson. I dont believe I could utter one of the old sounds if I tried. [DOOLITTLE touches her on her left shoulder. She drops her work, losing her self-possession utterly at the spectacle of her father’s splendor] A-a-a-a-a-ah-ow-ooh!
HIGGINS [with a crow of triumph] Aha! Just so. A-a-a-a-ahowooh ! A-a-a-a-ahowooh! A-a-a-a-ahowooh! Victory! Victory ! [He throws himself on the divan, folding his arms, and spraddling arrogantly].
DOOLITTLE Can you blame the girl? Dont look at me like that, Eliza. It aint my fault. Ive come into some money.
LIZA You must have touched a millionaire this time, dad.
DOOLITTLE I have. But I’m dressed something special today. I’m going to St. George‘s, Hanover Square.[228] Your stepmother is going to marry me.
LIZA [angrily] Youre going to let yourself down to marry that low common woman!
PICKERING [quietly] He ought to, Eliza. [To DOOLITTLE] Why has she changed her mind?
DOOLITTLE [sadly] Intimidated. Governor. Intimidated. Middle class morality claims its victim. Wont you put on your hat, Liza, and come and see me turned off?
LIZA If the Colonel says I must, I — I’ll [almost sobbing] I’ll demean myself. And get insulted for my pains, like enough.
DOOLITTLE Dont be afraid: she never comes to words with anyone now, poor woman! respectability has broke all the spirit out of her.
PICKERING [squeezing ELIZA’s elbow gently] Be kind to them, Eliza. Make the best of it.
LIZA [forcing a little smile for him through her vexation] Oh well, just to shew theres no ill feeling. I’ll be back in a moment. [She goes out].
DOOLITTLE [sitting down beside PICKERING] I feel uncommon nervous about the ceremony, Colonel. I wish youd come and see me through it.
PICKERING But youve been through it before, man. You were married to Eliza’s mother.
DOOLITTLE Who told you that, Colonel?
PICKERING Well, nobody told me. But I concluded — natu — rally —
DOOLITTLE No: that aint the natural way, Colonel: it’s only the middle class way. My way was always the undeserving way. But dont say nothing to Eliza. She dont know: I always had a delicacy about telling her.
PICKERING Quite right. We’ll leave it so, if you dont mind.
DOOLITTLE And youll come to the church, Colonel, and put me through straight?
PICKERING With pleasure. As far as a bachelor can.
MRS. HIGGINS May I come, Mr. Doolittle? I should be very sorry to miss your wedding.
228
Church where wealthy people married.