In the blink of an eye, the blindfold was ripped from her eyes as he stared down at her. Once more, he held her against him. Her eyes began to water profusely, but she held his gaze. The same predatory look he had earlier was back

“No one will ever give you what I can,” he stared down at her, his voice steady and thick with lust. “No one will ever understand you the way I do. No one will ever understand me the way you do.” He spoke as if defending his case to her. “I’ve never told anyone the things I’ve told you. I don’t trust anyone the way I trust you.” A sudden look of panic flashed across his chiseled face. “We’ll never find this again with anyone else. Can’t you see that we belong together, even if it’s wrong?”

He pulled out of her mouth. “Do you want me to stop?” his eyes glistened with wanting. Her drool covered lips hung open as she waited for him to take her again. “All you have to do is tell me to stop, Elsa. Just say the word and I’ll end this sweet torture.”

She stared blankly up at him. She couldn’t say it. She didn’t want it to stop. Yes, she did need this, and she hated herself for it and him for being the one to open her eyes to the pleasures of surrendering one’s self. Goddamn him. This thing between them was wrong, but it felt right. Not always, but sometimes…

She closed her eyes but his voice boomed loudly above her. “Look at me. I need to see your eyes.” Her eyes flicked open and fixed on his mouth. “Tell me what you want,” he tipped her chin up.

“This,” she croaked out. “You,” she opened her mouth to accept him.

His eyes grew wild with some unknown emotion. Spots began to fill her vision when, yet again, he began fucking her mouth roughly and cutting her breath short. She almost lost her nerve when he held her longer and longer each time, but decided to give herself over to his relentlessness. When she did, she tried to relay her message of acceptance through her eyes.

The light around Victor’s face suddenly became blinding and his eyes brighter than she had ever seen. Her mouth was filled with the taste of him and when her vision began to gray, she suddenly felt as if she was floating above herself. Just when the feeling of warmth wrapped itself around her body, he let her loose. She choked and gasped, and inhaled so deeply an explosion detonated in her. What came next was a racking sob that overtook her body. When she began to shake uncontrollably, Victor fell to his knees and hugged her close.

“Where ever you go, Elsa, I’ll always find you. I’ll always long for you. Nothing will ever change that.”

Emotions so devastating made her wail like she had never done before. Unable to stop herself, she crawled toward him, wanting to be within his arms. She felt as if she had just orgasmed even though there had been no sex. She was scared. Elated. Angry. Excited. Panicked. Every emotion that was feasibly possible was coursing through her veins and flooding her brain. The sound of her own voice drowned out the music.

Victor stood, bent down, unshackled her and picked her up off the floor. Gently, he carried her to the bedroom and covered her with a comforter as he rocked her. Helpless to do anything, she curled into a ball, mortified at her own actions.

***

Victor had witnessed sub drop before, but never to such a powerful degree. He was feeling the emotional affects of their scene as well and his body began to shake from the adrenaline rush. His cock was still rock hard from not having being allowed his own release, but Elsa was his first concern.

Her raspy breaths and strained cries drove him to hold her tighter. Still shaky with desire, he whispered things into her ear to soothe her. How beautiful she was. How much he cherished her tears. How bright her light was. How he couldn’t imagine what it would be like without her. All of it truth. All of it frightening to admit.

She was like warm, pliant clay, her body damp with perspiration, her arms limply draped across her chest. He trailed kisses along the side of her neck and stared down at her as she lay next to him, seemingly incapable of movement. Slowly her tears subsided and her eyes fluttered closed but quickly flew back open, a look of sheer panic flashing in her blood-shot and puffy eyes.

“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere,” he reassured her.

“I feel terrible,” she feebly whispered.

“What you’re feeling is normal,” he smiled down at her, trying to ease her despondency.

“It doesn’t feel normal. It feels like…” she swallowed noisily and looked past him.

“Like what?” he probed.

In typical Elsa fashion, she changed the subject to avoid his question. “Why did you point Nathan in my direction?”

He hesitated, but Nathan was out of the picture so he decided there was no point in trying to lie about his intentions any longer. “I didn’t want you to be alone. Now answer my question. It feels like what?”

“Like I did when you left me before.”

Victor’s mouth twitched with agitation and shock. He hadn’t left her. She had left him.

“You didn’t want me to be alone, but I was. After I left that day, you were still there. I could feel you all around me. I’d see your eyes on me when you didn’t think I could see you. I’d smell your cologne when you got too close. You were better at hiding than before, but I knew you were still there, watching my every move and in some twisted way, I was comforted by that. In my head, it was because you cared. But then… then you just disappeared. You were gone without any warning. You didn’t even wean me off of you; you just left, and I was alone, Victor.” The tears began to build up again. “Was Chapter Nine better than me?” she hugged herself and stared into his eyes.

He reached for her hand and brushed his lips against the delicate skin of her inner wrist. “I came back for you, didn’t I?”

She glanced up from beneath her tear-covered lashes. “Why did you come back?”

He reached for her phone lying on the nightstand and cued the song My Heart is Open by Maroon 5 before answering her. With her hand back in his, he pressed his mouth to her wrist again. As he searched for the words to say, he felt the rapid beat of her heartbeat against his lips. He knew by answering her honestly, he was giving away too much and too fast, but looking at her was like seeing a reflections of how he felt – fatigued, betrayed and confused by the turn of events in the game.

“Because there is no one better than you; because I wanted one more chance to be with you before you gave your heart away forever; before I lost you completely.”

23: Reality Check

No matter what Elsa had tried to convince herself of, she had never gotten over Victor. He was saying all the right things and she couldn’t stop thinking here was their second chance. It was most likely just another trick of light, but the light was so beautiful, even if it wasn’t real.

“Don’t you feel the least bit sorry for what we’ve done to Nathan?” she stared up at him as he dried the tears from her cheeks.

His faint, roguish smile gave way to shock. “Sorry? He spent a year with you. For the twelve months that you were with him, he got to hold you, see your smile, feel your body against his, your mouth on him, your eyes focused on him… Sorry? I don’t feel the least bit anything for him except envious.”

As she lay in his arms, his bright eyes dulled under her concentrated gaze.

"This whole situation is so fucked up. This game. This thing between us. It’s exhausting. God, I’m just so sick of it and tired of hating Mr. Black one minute to wanting a future with you the next. A future I know will never happen.”

Silence. Painful and agonizing. She could see Victor drifting away and Mr. Black resurfacing. Perhaps it had been his admission from just a moment ago or her words…