After tearing his office apart in a furious rampage, he collapsed onto his bed and stared at the darkened ceiling.

His own deep breathing drowned out the sound of his thudding heart in his ears.

“You can’t do this alone. I won’t let you,” he heard Elsa’s voice.

He turned his head to see her standing in the doorway of the bedroom. Rising up on his elbows he stared blankly at her.

“If we’re doing this, we’re doing it together or not at all. This can only work between us if we’re both present and committed to one another, no matter how ugly things may get. And I’m dedicated to you and to making this work. If you’re not, then tell me right now.” Her body swayed as light from the hallway bathed her body and glowed all around her tear-streaked face and ember-colored locks. “If you say no to me right now, it will be the last time you say no. I’ll walk out that door and I won’t be waiting for you, Victor. I’ll be trying to piece my life back together and moving on.”

The thought of Elsa moving on without him tore his heart to shreds.

“Please say yes, Victor,” she begged.

In the blink of an eye, he stood and swept her into his arms, carrying her to the bed with her face buried in his neck, her feminine scent making him light-headed. “Yes, Elsa. Yes.” He breathed into her hair. Laid out in his arms, he stared down at her with fear, worry, and a feeling he couldn’t identify coursing through his veins. “I can’t promise that this thing between us will last forever, but if there’s anyone I ever want to have a forever with, it’s you. I… I love…” he struggled to put into words what he should have said eons ago with a pained expression creasing his face and making him feel older than he was.

Swiftly she placed her hand over his mouth. “You don’t have to say anymore.”

“No, I need to say it…” if not for any other reason but to remind myself that he could still feel. Several long moments later the words he had been so terrified of saying, effortlessly came out as if they had been hovering on his lips and waiting to come out all along.

“I love you, Elsa.” His emotions skidded in a cloudy haze all around him, enlivening him. He shook his head, unable to accept that he was a sentient human again.

The beautiful woman in his arms smiled up at him and touched his lips as if making sure he was real. She was so naïve, innocent even, in her own way. Her eyes roamed over his face questioningly, her expression indecipherable.

Mr. Black’s distant voice whispered to him and prickled at his nerves. That part of him wanted to come back out to play hard, to fuck hard, and to have this trusting woman begging for his mercy and her release. Mr. Black was part of him; had been his fiercest ally; his only comfort when the world around him showed him nothing but blood and cruelty. Could he just simply let that piece of himself die out for her? He gulped noisily, his nerves having sapped the saliva from his mouth, leaving it parched and his unspoken words wedged in his throat.

You don’t deserve her… You don’t need her… Mr. Black’s words seared through him. How foolish for him to think that vital part of his personality wasn’t going to go down without a fight. He had let that piece of himself run wild for so long, was there any hope of restraining it?

His silence didn’t go unnoticed, and Elsa circled her fingers over his heart as she pleaded with her eyes for him to say something… Anything.

She was so beautiful and deserving of someone better than him…

“You deserve better.” He spoke Mr. Black’s words, but the sentiment was his own. He had spoken the truth, but he was a selfish man, and even if he was the wrong man for her, there was no way he was giving her up. Not without a fight and Mr. Black would just have to face that and adapt to the changes.

“There is no one better for me than you, Victor,” she repeated his own words as her voice cracked, and her chin trembled ever so slightly.

“I’m so broken, Elsa, and we’ve done so much damage to each other…”

“No,” she shook her head. “That’s not true. We’re both stronger when we’re together. We can do this.”

His words slipped out painfully through his clenched teeth as he struggled to keep the desperation out of his voice. “You might feel differently in time.”

Her resolve resurfaced, and she stared into his eyes, the brown of her irises shimmering fiercely. “I hope I do feel different. I hope I love you more with each passing moment and that you let me love you until my heart explodes. I hope you give me reasons to see you differently – in good ways.”

That sinking feeling was returning. “I want to… but Mr. Black…”

“I’m not asking you to shut him down, Victor. I’m just asking you to control him; to not allow his darkness to overcome your light.”

He shook his head but felt a smile work its way onto his mouth. “You and your damned light.” The smile disappeared just as quickly as it had appeared. “Sometimes I like the dark, Elsa. Now and then it comforts me. For things to be dirty and depraved is what stimulates me and makes me feel alive. That’ll never change for me. Mr. Black opened my eyes to my dark side, and I can’t live without that. I won’t. Can you live with me knowing I need that?”

His stomach churned waiting for her answer. He wanted her and if she said no… God, if she said that word, his soul would be crushed.

Soft fingers laced through his hair and her perfectly shaped mouth curved into something sexy and her eyes lit up the room. “I can and I will.”

His pulse skittered when he confessed what he really wanted. “I love seeing you on your knees, Peach. I crave your begging and pushing your limits. I don’t want to lose that…”

“To ask you to change who you are would be a death sentence for our relationship. You are who you are, Mr. Black and all. I like your dark side and even Mr. Black… in small doses,” she gave him a feeble smile. “Neither of us has to sacrifice the things we enjoy to be together. We can make this work. I truly believe that. As long as we love each other consistently, honestly and most importantly, unconditionally, it doesn’t matter that it will be difficult.”

Her eyes were ablaze with something fierce; something more potent than love. A warmness flowed over his body and wrapped itself around him like a blanket, a peacefulness like he had never felt before filling him.

It could last if they worked at it, if they both wanted it, and he did. Maybe, just maybe, it would last forever. And maybe it wouldn’t, but he couldn’t think about that. One day at a time is all he could manage. Baby steps…

“I’ll do everything I can to be my best for you, but I want you to understand that there is no such thing as happily ever after.”

She squeezed his shoulders and bit her bottom lip as her eyes fixed on his mouth. “I gave up that fairytale a long time ago, Victor. Anyway, happy for now is more our speed.”

At that moment, all that mattered is that they both wanted and needed each other. Every part of her belonged to him, and his blackened heart would always belong to her.

Chapter 8: Closing Thoughts

Elsa. Chapter Eight.

The chapter that changed my life.

 

You believed in me when I was too blinded by hate to believe in myself. You forced me to face my demons and eased my pain with your tears. You fought for me. And you fought against me knowing there would be consequences. You made me confess my past in order for me to see my future. You brightened my darkened path with your compassion and embraced all sides of me. You loved me when I was unlovable. You accepted the real me. There is no one before you in my eyes, and there will be no one after. You followed my rules but made your own. You didn't play fairly. Your strength outshone mine and in the end, you won the game. You won my heart. You own my heart. You are etched in my soul.