The other rules, he could firmly shove up his ass. Most especially the one that required her to show up at his house, every work day, to face the north wall of his bedroom, nude, kneeling with her legs slightly apart, her hands folded behind her neck and elbows spread wide. Fifteen minutes of - a third of her damned lunch break - was spent on that ridiculousness. She had no idea what the point of that little exercise was except to ensure her compliance with his rules, but it seemed asinine and, frankly, sadistic. Twice, she had flipped the camera off after her time was up. She would probably regret that later, but she could care less.

Even with the ugly lie wedged between her and Nate, each day that passed made it easier to accept her role in Victor’s life. He was sharing his secrets and that seemed to make everything he was doing, acceptable. Fucked up, for sure, but tolerable somehow. She might not feel that way in a day or a week, but today, she felt as good about her situation as feasibly possible.

Anyway, with Victor, and Mr. Black, it was best just to take things one day at a time. To think ahead or try to predict his actions would only drive her insane. Well… more insane.

Friday evening, she received a text message. The work week without him had been just enough time for her to mentally recuperate from everything that had transpired the weekend before, and she was ready to learn more of Victor’s secrets.

When she arrived at 2500 East Grace Street, she found him sitting in his office, reviewing video footage. She stood patiently at the door, watching him analyze her movements and actions. She didn’t realize he had seen her in the frame of the door, but without looking at her, he motioned for her to join him.

Hesitantly, she did, but kept her eyes away from the monitor. Rather than sitting in his lap, she knelt at his feet and rested her chin on his knee so that she could study his reactions to what he was seeing. He glanced down, his eyes scanning her face. The fingers of one hand laced through her hair, while the other hand punched buttons on the computer.

His touch was soft, warm, familiar; his smell enticing; his expression passive. It was quite a look for him.

Suddenly, his eyebrows shot up as he watched the monitor, the corners of his lips curled upward and a laugh rumbled in his throat.

His irises zoomed in on her again and he gave her a tsk tsk.

He patted his knee, gesturing for her to sit in his lap.

“Do I really have to?”

“Yes,” his eyes remained on the screen.

She sighed, but complied. No words were spoken as he continued to scrutinize every angle and movement of her on the video. On the occasion where she would sneak a peek at the screen, the only thing she witnessed was herself roaming around his house at 1.5x speed.

“Shouldn’t you be concentrating on work instead of this?”

“Yes.”

His voice remained monotone and he refused to look at her.

Her fingers threaded through his soft hair, pushing it away from his eyes. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re handsome?”

A boyish grin spread across his face. “Yes.”

She wrapped an arm around his shoulder and gave him an irritated sigh. “Do you plan on speaking to me in more than one syllable this evening?”

“Yes,” his laughter bubbled over.

Bored and frustrated, she glanced at the screen again. What was gained by this sort of obsessive behavior to know absolutely everything? Yes, she enjoyed watching people too, but not on some computer monitor. She liked to see the action as it unfolded, not some rehashed version that could be analyzed. And she sure as hell didn’t want to watch herself in action. He was experiencing these things with her firsthand, so what was the point of scrutinizing the minute details? His curiosity made her wonder, though... had he watched their interaction from that last fateful day?

“Do you still have the videos of our time before?”

His eyes darted sideways, his smile fading. “Yes.”

“Have you watched them?”

His chewed the corner of his lip before answering. “Yes.”

“All of them?” she pressed.

No words this time. Merely a nod as he tensely adjusted a knob.

“Can I see the video of our last day together?” Her voice came out whispered and full of uncertainty.

He winced, ran a hand through his hair and looked at her with confusion sparkling in his eyes. “Why would you want to see that?”

“So you can speak in more than one word sentences.”

He didn’t find her statement amusing and simply stared at her with unflinching directness as he waited for her answer.

But she had no answer for him. She didn’t know why she wanted to see it, she just did. Maybe to convince herself that she hadn’t made the whole thing up in her mind. That perhaps he hadn’t been as harsh as she remembered or that she hadn’t been as weak as she recalled.

“Can I?” she continued without answering his question.

“No.”

He was back to his one-word responses. His cold denial made her stiffen in automatic defense. “Why not?”

She felt him take an emotional step back as their gazes battled for a long moment.

“Because I erased it.”

Crushed and at a loss for words, she merely shook her head. “Like it never happened,” her voice trembled and cracked.

Had he erased it from his memory, too?

Feeling the sudden urge to retreat inward, she rose from his lap in one smooth, angry motion. As she moved away from him, his hand on her forearm stopped her and spun her around.

“You’re really never going to forgive me for what I did to you, are you?”

The raw passion on Victor’s face threw her into a tailspin. As usual, she couldn’t tell if this was part of his game or if he was being sincere. She hoped for the latter, but she knew better.

“What I’ll never forgive is myself for allowing you to do the things you did to me.” And was still allowing him to do. Uncomfortable with the heated look in his eyes, she pulled out of his grip.

“I know what I did to you was wrong...”

Her voice was sharp and low when she cut him off. “You say you know it was wrong, but you’ve shown no remorse for your actions and you’ve never once apologized. And at this point, I don’t even want your fucking apology. You have no idea what you did to me or how you made me feel.”

“I do know…” he stared at her with smoldering intensity.

“No you don’t. Not really. It was more than just physical. It was so much more than just that leather across my back. You made me feel less than human, Victor. Less than worthy of basic respect. Less than loveable,” her vision wavered behind unshed tears as she finally lashed out at him. “Do you have any idea what it’s like to be made to feel that way by someone you care about? To be callously dismissed after giving them a piece of your soul?”

“Yes.”

***

Victor sat motionless in the chair, hating the despair he saw reflected in Elsa’s eyes.

“You knew and yet, you still did it to me?”

Her voice was nothing more than a broken whisper and it hurt him to see the strongest woman he knew so ravaged by emotion.

He was sorry for his actions. His mother had made him feel the same way time and time again. He hated her and everything she did to him, but she was still his mother and deep down, all he had ever wanted was her approval and love.

As for that Goddamn video, he could only stomach watching it once. It made no difference because he had replayed the brutal scene over and over in his head, trying to think of ways he could’ve done things differently. But there was no going back. What was done was done and erasing the video was the only way he could mentally cope with what he had done to another human being. To his Peach.

Just as Elsa turned to walk out his voice halted her.