What he was saying made sensebut somehow Trin wasn’t listening to it. Sixteencycles old. His father was killed when he was only sixteen cycles old… Whydid that detail bother her so much? For an instant she seemed to see an oldermale Havoc—one that looked remarkably like Thrace—being shot with a blaster. Ahuge, bloody hole opened in his chest…he fell to his knees…somewhere a familiarvoice cried out in shock and pain…

Then the image was gone. But itleft Trin shaken. So shaken she couldn’t stand and had to go sit on the edge ofthe sleeping platform. To her dismay, Thrace followed her.

“Please, Thrace,” she said, putting her headin her hands. “I can’t…can’t do that. So don’t ask me any more.”

“What else are you going to do?”he asked harshly. “How else are we going to get out of this with yourreputation intact? How else are you going to pay off your ship? There is no other option—I know without askingthat letting me penetrate you is out of the question.”

“I…” Trin bit her lip, the bloodrushing to her face. “You know…how I feel about that.”

“Yeah, I know.” His deep voicewas bitter. “I know better than you do—you’re of two minds about it.”

“What do you mean?” She lookedat him, deeply troubled.

“I mean your body wants itdesperately—your scent tells me so.” He inhaled deeply, his eyes goinghalf-lidded with desire again. “You’re hot for it, baby. But your beliefs…theywon’t let you give in to your physical needs.” He sighed. “And I would neverask you to abandon those beliefs. Not for me or anyone.”

“What about you?” Trin askeddesperately. “What about yourbeliefs?”

He shrugged, his broad shouldersrolling with the motion.

“Don’t have any particularbeliefs about letting someone fuck me,” he said bluntly. “I don’t like the idea but that’s not the same asthinking I’ll be cursed to the Seven Hells or wherever it is that damnjudgmental goddess of yours sends you if you let a male’s shaft inside you.”

“But…I don’t even know how to goabout it,” Trin whispered. She could feel her resolve weakening which she knewwas wrong. But Thracewas right—what else could they do?

Youcould let him penetrate you, whispered a little voice in her head. No one would ever have to know…

I wouldknow, Trin told the littlevoice fiercely. And the Goddess would know. I would never beable to take it back…never be able to atone for it. Letting him do that tome—no matter how much I want it—would stain my soul forever. I would never befree of that sin…never be forgiven for it. No matter how close I may have cometo it or how much I care for Thrace,that is one line I cannot, I must notcross.

“Mistress…” Thrace was on his knees before heragain and somehow he was raising her skirts and spreading her legs. “Let mehelp you put on the phallus. We’ll go step by step…you can do this.” He took adeep breath. “And I can too. It’s the only way.”

“I don’t know…” Trin began buthe was already licking her, dragging his hot tongue in long, slow strokes overher heated pussy, making her moan with need. Before she knew it, he was fittingthe heart’s blood phallus to her entrance and entering her slowly and gently,seating the thick shaft firmly inside her pussy.

“That’s right, Mistress,” hegrowled softly as the head of the phallus kissed the back of her tight channel.“That’s right, take it all in…so that you can take me.”

“Ah! Goddess!” Trin moaned,bucking her hips up to meet the thrust of the phallus. If it was so wrong toallow anything inside her here, in this most secret spot, why did it feel soGoddess-damned good? She had no answers. And before she could think of any, Thracewas pressing a small, cool cylinder into the palm of her hand. Trin looked downat it uncertainly. “What—?”

“To prepare me.” Thrace’s voicewas a low growl and his silver-blue eyes were troubled but he seemed absolutelysure about this all the same. “Unless you’d rather I did it myself?”

“Oh…oh, no. No, of course not.”Trin suddenly understood. With trembling hands, she unscrewed the lid of thesmall container and squeezed something cool and slippery out into her fingers.

Thrace was already kneeling at the side of the bedbut now he removed the black silk loincloth which had covered the front andback of his crotchless black leather trousers. Folding his arms on the top ofthe bed, he spread his legs, giving her access to his tight, muscular ass. Thenhe looked back at Trin.

“Go on—do it.”

“All…all right.”

Awkwardly she knelt beside him,excruciatingly aware of the way the heart’s blood phallus felt moving insideher as she did so. The other end of the phallus—the golden rod carved withelaborate, flowing script and characters, stuck out in front of her strangely.Was she really going to use this on Thrace? Was she really going totake him this way?

What else could she do?

Reaching between his spreadthighs, she found the small, tight opening. He was clenched as tight as a fistand for a moment Trin wished she had the same ability he did to loosen andrelax tense flesh. But she had not been born Havoc with such innate skills—theslippery substance and her own slender fingers would have to do.

Slowly, her hands trembling, shetried to massage the lube into his entrance. Thrace said nothing. He only buriedhis face in his muscular arms and took deep, gulping breaths as Trin penetratedhim first with one fingertip…and then two. How widely would he need to bestretched to take the golden end of the heart’s blood phallus? And would shereally be able to help prepare him? She had been working on him for a goodwhile now and he still seemed as tight as he’d been to begin with.

“I’m sorry,” she said at last.“I…I guess I need more of this stuff.” She reached for the small tube again butThracesurprised her by turning and grasping her wrist.

“Stop.” His voice was hoarse, adeep, jagged growl.

“Oh. Of course I’ll stop. Wedon’t have to—”

“No, I mean stop trying to prepareme. This…” he gestured to himself with the other hand. “This is as prepared asI’m going to get. I can’t loosen up for you. I can’t relax. All I can do istake it. So go on, Mistress—give it to me.”

“Thrace…” Trin cupped his cheek withher free hand. “Goddess, you’re shaking.”

He shook his head. “It’snothing. Just nerves. Do it. Please just do it and get it over with, Master—Imean, Mistress.”

Trin frowned at his slip.

“Thrace, what’s going on? Is theresomething you’re not telling me?”

“Nothing.” But his eyes slid tothe side and wouldn’t meet hers when he said it.

Trin regarded him uneasily. TheHavoc was so big—so massive and powerful. He was so much taller than her—hisshoulders were fully twice as broad as hers and he probably weighed three timesas much as she did, all of it solid muscle. And yet here he was, humblinghimself before her, giving himself freely. But somehow she sensed it was morethan just his pride he was going to be losing if she went through with this.

“Thrace,” she said uncertainly. “Idon’t want to do this if…if it’s going to hurt you.”

“That doesn’t matter. Nothingmatters now but doing it and getting it over with.”

“This is an intimacy,” Trinobjected. “One that neither one of us would have chosen, maybe, but still anintimacy. I won’t let it become a rape.”

Thrace flinched, his eyes narrowing.

“It won’t be rape. I’m willing,I tell you.”

“Your body tells another story,”Trin objected. “A much different one Look how tense you are—how tight. Youremind me of my stallion, Swift when he’s scented something that frightens him.”

“Not your fucking pet,” hegrowled. “Not some stupid animal that doesn’t know better. That’s not why I’mdoing this.”

She frowned. “Why are you doing it then? Is it because of what you told me earlier? Thatyour body is attuned to me? That I’ve somehow…broken your barriers? I don’twant to do this to you because you feel you haveto let me—because you’re under some kind of…of chemical or hormonal spellor—”