“Of course,” said Alexander, not even bothering to smile.
Naira stared at Tatiana for a moment. “Tanechka, what are you doing? Go get ready for bed, dear. It’s so late already, and you know how early we wake up.”
“I will, Naira Mikhailovna.”
When Naira went around the corner, Tatiana let her glance stop at Alexander, who was looking at her unhappily. She shrugged, also unhappily. They went inside. Getting a big white shirt out of her trunk, Tatiana thought, where to change? Alexander had no such reservations. He took off his shirt right in front of her, leaving on his linen trousers as he hopped up onto the bed. Tatiana had never seen Alexander without his uniform, his shirt, his long johns; she had never seen Alexander bare. He was very muscled. Was she ever going to get her breath back? She did not think so.
She couldn’t take off her dress and put on her nightshirt. She decided to leave the dress on.
“Good night,” she said, dimming the kerosene lamp. Alexander did not reply.
Naira walked through the house to her bedroom saying, “Good night.”
Tatiana said good night. Alexander didn’t make a sound.
Still in her dress, Tatiana was under the blanket on the porch sofa when she heard Alexander’s deep voice from inside call for her. “Tatia.”
She got up and stood shyly in the doorway.
“Come here,” Alexander said, his muted voice cracking.
All she wanted was to go to him. But she was so afraid. She walked around the table.
“Stand on the hearth,” Alexander told her.
Tatiana stood, her face next to his, and before he had a chance to whisper or open his mouth, she kissed him, her hands clutching his head.
“Come here,” he breathed out. She felt him trying to pull her up.
“Oh, Shura, I can’t… There will be the biggest fuss…” She couldn’t stop kissing him either.
“Tania, I don’t give a shit if it’s in tomorrow’s papers. Right now come here to me.” He pulled her up by her arms, and once she was up, he entwined her with all his limbs, his whole enormous body swallowing her as they kissed ravenously.
“God, Tatia,” Alexander whispered. “Oh, God, I’ve missed you so much.”
“Me, too,” she replied, her lips open, her hands stroking his back. “So much.” For a moment he stopped kissing her and moving against her, as he embraced her in a nest inside him. Tatiana could not believe how remarkable it felt to touch Alexander’s naked back and hard shoulders and hard arms.
He was crushing her to him, his lips more demanding, his insistent hands all over her. He had only two hands? Then why were they everywhere at once? She was enveloped in him, unable to keep her eyes open, yet all she wanted was to see him, to not miss a second of him. Pulling up her dress to her waist, Alexander touched her bare leg. Involuntarily her legs spread apart slightly, and Tatiana moaned into his lips.
Smiling, Alexander whispered, “Oh, Tania. Moan, but not too loud. Wait, not so loud.”
Her legs opened a little more. His hand caressed the inside of her thigh.
“No,” she groaned. Stop, please.
He licked her lips. “Tania, your thighs…” Alexander whispered. His hand climbed on her.
Tatiana tried to pull away from him, but there was nowhere for her to go. “Shura,” she whispered. “Please. Stop.”
“I can’t,” he said. “Are they sound sleepers?”
“No, not at all,” she whispered. “They wake up at the sound of a cricket in the house. They come outside five times to go to the outhouse. Please. I can’t keep quiet. You’d have to suffocate me to keep me quiet.”
They kept whispering into each other’s wet mouths.
“Stop,” she whispered. “Stop.” They could not stop.
Alexander’s hand reluctantly came away from her leg, resting on her bare stomach under her dress. “I like the dress,” he whispered.
“You’re not touching the dress.”
“No? Feels nice. Soft. Take it off.”
“No,” she said, pushing him away slightly.
They lay relatively quiet for a few minutes as they got their breath back.
Alexander’s fingers went back to rubbing her leg. “Stop rubbing my leg,” Tatiana whispered. She throbbed from her thighs to her navel. “Stop touching me.”
“Can’t. I’ve waited too long for you.” Bending over her, he pressed his lips to her throat. “You don’t want me, Tania?” he whispered. “Tell me you don’t want me.” His hands were tugging the dress down from her shoulders. “Take it off.”
“Please,” she panted. “Shura, come on, I can’t keep quiet. You have to stop.”
He wouldn’t stop. The dress came off one arm, then off the other.
Alexander took her hand and put it on his chest. “Tania, feel my heart! Don’t you want to lie against my chest?” he said imploringly. “Your bare breasts on my chest, your heart next to my heart. Come on, just for a second. Then you can put the dress back on.”
Tatiana silently stared at him in the dark, at his blazing bronze eyes, at his moist mouth. How could she say no to Alexander? She lifted her arms. Alexander slipped the dress over her head. She went to cover her breasts, and his hands stopped her. “Keep your hands down.”
He lay on his back and said, “Come, lie on top of me.”
“You don’t want to lie on top of me?” Tatiana asked softly.
He pulled her to him. “Not if you want me to stop.”
Groaning, Tatiana lay down carefully against his chest.
“Oh, Tania,” Alexander said intensely, his arms around her. “Do you feel that?”
“I do,” she whispered, her own heart ready to burst.
His hands ran over her back down to her hips, caressing her through her panties, pulling them down a little, caressing her bare bottom. Pushing her up from him, Alexander fondled her breasts. “I have been dreaming of your beautiful breasts for a year,” he said, smiling, breathing through his parted mouth. Tatiana wanted to tell him that she had been dreaming of his beautiful, unstoppable hands on her for a year but couldn’t speak. She wanted to tell him that she had been dreaming of his beautiful, unstoppable mouth on her nipples for a year but couldn’t speak. What she wanted to do was lean over him and put her nipple into his mouth. She was too shy to do that. All she could do was watch his face and pant.
Alexander closed his eyes. “Tatia, please, keep quiet. I can’t wait any longer.” He pulled at her nipples. She moaned so loudly that he stopped, but not for long. Pushing her off him, Alexander lay her down onto her back. “Look at you,” he whispered. He sucked her nipples for a moment. Tatiana’s hands were grasping at the sheet. One of Alexander’s hands went around her mouth, the other went on her thigh. “Tania,” he said, “you think I’m hungry?”
“Hmm…” she panted into his palm.
“I’m not hungry,” Alexander whispered. “I’m famished. Watch out for me. Now, don’t make a single sound,” he said, getting on top of her. “Tania, God… I’ll cover your mouth, just like this, and you hold on to my arms, just like this, and I’m going to—just like this—”
Tatiana cried out so loudly that Alexander stopped, fell back on the bed, put his arm over his face, and groaned.
They lay next to each other, only their legs touching, hers bare, his still in his trousers. His arm remained around his face.
Reluctantly Tatiana put her dress back on.
“I’m going to die,” he whispered to her. “Die, Tatiana.”
You’re going to die? she thought, beginning to crawl to the edge to get down.
Alexander stopped her. “Where are you going? Sleep with me.”
“No, Shura.”
“What?” He smiled, still panting. “You don’t trust me?”
“Not for a second.” She smiled back.
“I promise I’ll be good.”
“No, they’ll come out, they’ll see.”
“See what? What are they going to do?” He wasn’t letting go of her arms. “Tatia, right here,” he whispered, tapping on his chest. “Just like you did in Luga. Remember? You called me over, you said, come near me. Well, now I’m telling you to come.”