Eddie met me at the road. “Thank God! Silvia! “

He swept the key from my hand and raced into the building. I took Caro, who was sleeping again by then, out of the car and bolted up the stairs to the flat. Eddie was struggling with the key in the lock.

“Jiggle it!” I told him. “Here, like this!” I stepped in front of him and gave the door a shake. It swung open.

Nigel was standing in the centre of the room holding a cup in his little hands. He grinned, a huge smile that revealed all five or so little teeth he had, and he said, “Paaaaaaa!” to Eddie, holding his arms out wide.

Eddie scooped him up and held him close, “Oh, Sonny,” He mumbled, “You’re safe now, you are…you’re safe…” Ana came beside them and put her hands on the baby’s head. She stroked him desperately with her palms as if to make sure he was still solid. Eddie stooped so she could kiss Nigel and there they stood, the two of them with their arms wrapped around him. Ana sobbed, Eddie held his breath.

I stayed in the doorway with Caro in a state of stunned disbelief.

Melissa had left him. Her own son. Not even two years old. She had left him alone in that ravaged flat with no one to look after him. Who knew how long he’d been there. Who knew what had gone on or what might have happened if Eddie and Ana had not seen her by chance strolling through town. What was she doing? What was she thinking? What in the bloody hell was wrong with that woman?

I suddenly hated her like I had never hated anyone in my life. I wanted to leave my daughter with her grandparents and go and find her. I wanted to shatter every bone in her body with my bare hands. More than that I wanted to take Nigel away and never let her see him again. She didn't deserve to.

“Let’s get him out of here!” Ana spat. She looked around the place and curled her nose, “Let’s get him out of here before that bitch comes back!” I had never heard her refer to a person badly before. Not once in all the years I’d know her. She said every word in Welsh, then switched to English, “Let’s get him home! I’m going to call Alexander myself this time!”

“Take him,” I told them, “And Carolena, too. I’ll get his things. If Melissa comes home, I’ll deal with her then, won’t I?”

After they left I was suddenly very calm. I walked to the baby’s room, which was the only room in the house that was tidy, and put enough for a week in a bag. I had no idea why I was packing like that, but it felt right, so I did it. I took everything. Clothing, toys, blankets, nappies, wipes, his shampoo and baby wash. I moved slowly, methodically, hoping Melissa would walk through that door so I could crush her skull, but she never came home, At least not until after I’d gone.

I phoned Oliver at the office from the car and told the nurse that it was an emergency. I told him he needed to get to his mother’s as soon as possible. He was a bit confused at first, but I filled him in with what I knew. He was furious, but he said very little, being as he was surrounded by people. “Bring Nigel to the office,” He said quietly, but his voice was low and serious, a tone he rarely used, “Straight away. It’s most likely he’s just fine, but…”

“He seems fine.”

“Thank God,” He replied quickly “But, mind, I’ll have a look at him all the same. I have to go. I’m phoning my shit brain of a brother.”

A different sort of panic swept me, “Oliver,” I knew how angry he was by the tone of his voice. Ollie didn't get angry often or easily, but when he did it often had a disastrous outcome for the object of his aggression, “Think before you speak. I don’t know if your mum’s rang him or not, but you know she’ll give him a proper scolding…”

“Not like I’m going to,” He was speaking through his teeth. I could tell. I could almost hear them gnashing, “I'm going to beat his arse.”

“Oliver, don’t! Alex didn't do this! She did this!” The thought of the twins fighting, the thought of that horrible wench finally setting a firm distance between them, was more than I could stand. “Alex needs you! He trusts you better than anybody! Please! Please don’t attack him! He’s going to be just as upset as we all are, but if you put him on the defensive…”

“He’ll take Nigel away from all of us.” He finished for me.

“It’s what I’m afraid of. And I'm afraid we'll lose him. Oliver, what will we do without Alexander? He's our brother!”

There was a pause. When he spoke again his voice had softened. “I won’t hit him. I won't even ring him. I’ll wait for him at mum’s. I'll talk to him.”

“Thank you, Sweetie.”

Oliver did speak with him that afternoon. The two of them went off into the yard and sat beside the birdbath. I caught a glimpse of them for a moment. It looked tense at first, but it wasn't long before Oliver's arm was around Alexander and he was squeezing him in a supportive gesture. Alex's head was hung, cradled in his hands.

They talked for hours while Ana and I sat with Nigel and Caro in the sitting room. The house was eerily quiet.

I would have thought that experience might have been enough for Alexander to take a stronger hand with his wife, but it seemed that he didn’t. I don't even know what was said to her or if anything was at all. He went home and everything went back to how it had been. I couldn’t believe it. I wanted to bash his head as much as I did hers and I was sorry that I'd told Oliver not to hit him. She could have killed their son with her neglect, but Alexander didn’t seem to want to do a thing about it.

It was putting a strain on Oliver and me as well. We never discussed it, really. I just got the feeling that he wouldn't have told me about it. It was another one of those things that he kept inside of him for his brother, some unspoken, private matter that only the two of them understood and neither of them felt any reason to let anybody else in on.

“Why?” I finally demanded Oliver explain. I couldn't take the stress, “Why doesn’t he do something about her? Why doesn't he take that boy away from her?”

Oliver looked surprised. It struck me that he had had no idea that I hadn't understood the situation from Alex's perspective. He stared at me before he slowly explained, “Because she’s pregnant and he doesn’t know what to do.” He watched my face, waiting to see some understanding. When he didn't, he began again, “Silvia, slow down and think. He’s doing his best to protect Nigel. She’s not keeping him anymore on her days off, yeah? Christ, Sil, he’s got the lad sleeping in the bed with him so he can keep an eye on him even at night! He comes home on his lunch and cleans the place every day. You don't see that because you're not there.”

“He needs to get that boy the hell away from her!”

“Silvia!” Oliver stared at me in disbelief. He really did not understand why I was not getting the point of what he was telling me. Sometimes he took his relationship with his brother for granted and forgot he was the only one in the world who could take Alexander and make him make sense, “We all know that, don’t we? But what you’re failing to see is the other baby! The one inside Melissa! He’s protecting that one the best he can as well! If he sends her packing, he sends her off with the other child!”

That stopped me. I looked at my husband from across the table and I was suddenly ashamed of myself for thinking that Alexander was being irresponsible. I had been so wrapped up in Nigel, the one I knew. The one I could see and hold. I hadn’t even thought of the little child inside of Melissa or what she might do to harm it if Alex pushed her too far.

What a delicate line he was dancing on. His situation was dangerous, far more dangerous than I'd considered and he wasn’t being an idiot at all. He was protecting his children. Both of them. God bless Alexander. For all of his faults, he was a loving and excellent father.

I looked up into my husband’s dark eyes. He saw the understanding in mine and smiled gently, “He’s doing the best he can, Sil. The best we can do to help him is allow him to keep doing it.”