My hateful words on the bridge echoed. “Oh, God.”

“Stop torturing yourself, Nick.”

“I’ve fouled up so badly!”

“Because you weren’t perfect.” His words hung in the air.

After a long while I forced my gaze to meet his. I took a long breath. “Yes. Because I wasn’t perfect.”

“But you’re a good Captain.”

I tried a smile. It wavered. “Am I?”

I could banish Father. I had banished Mr. Tuak, hadn’t I? “Yes, you’re a good Captain.”

I would miss Father. Perhaps I could learn to live without him.”I shoved a man out the airlock once,” I said.

“I gutted a man once,” he answered.

“My God, what for?”

“I won’t tell you.”

We were silent. Finally I asked, “What do I do about Vax?”

“Decide that yourself.”

I sighed. “It’s lonely. It’s always been so lonely.”

He stood, took a step forward. His hands darted toward me, then drew back hesitantly. “I’m going to touch you,”

he said, for the first time unsure.

I nodded dumbly. He rested his big, powerful hands on my shoulders. He squeezed. I began to cry. After a while I stopped. He sat back in his chair.

“Do you think,” I said after a time, afraid of his response, “do you think perhaps, sometimes, you might want to sit with me again? With your smoking pipe?”

“If you wish, sir.” His voice was quiet.

“I would like that.”

“We’re mated, sir,” Alexi reported.

“Very well.” I swiveled my chair. “When do they come up?” “I’d expect them anytime, sir,” Mr. Chantir said. “We called last night, if you remember.” Now that we were in Hope Station system, I had radioed ahead to Orbit Station, requesting an emergency conference aboard ship with General Tho, Governor Williams, and Captain Forbee.

“Mr. Tyre.”

The boy leaped from his seat, stood at parade-ground attention. “Yessir.” His blond hair was trimmed shorter than before. His hands and face were scrubbed pink.

“Go to the Commandant’s office and find out when they’11 arrive.”

“Aye aye, sir!” He spun about and marched out. I glanced at Alexi. He returned my gaze, impassive.

I leaned back. “So. One more port safely arrived at.

Pilot, an excellent job, as usual.”

Surprised, he flushed with pleasure.”Thanks very much, sir.”

“Alexi, you’re in charge of arrangements here. We leave in twenty-four hours. Make sure the oncoming passengers are told we’ll sail two days early. See that our supplies are boarded on time.” None of that should be a problem; we’d already radioed instructions.

“Aye aye, sir. If you’ll excuse me please, I’ll get started now.”

I nodded permission. “Lieutenant Crossburn.”

“Yes, sir?” Subdued and chastened, he seemed much relieved to be freed from his punishment detail. Defused, we couldn’t have our launch out of commission.

“Go below and bring Vax Holser to the bridge.”

“Aye aye, sir.”

I thumbed the caller.”Chief Me Andrews to the bridge.”

I waited with the Pilot and Lieutenant Chantir.

Philip reported, breathless. “Sir, pardon, please. The Governor is on the station. General Tho is with him. Captain Forbee’s shuttle is just docking.”

“I’ll be with them in a moment. When I call, escort them to the bridge.”

“Aye aye, sir.” Tyre hurried off. Before, his manner had been cooperative. Now it was something more intense.

Alexi’s doing, perhaps.

Vax Holser and Lieutenant Crossburn appeared at the hatchway. Vax seemed ill at ease in borrowed civilian clothes that didn’t quite fit.

“Bring him in, Mr. Crossburn.”

Vax, expressionless, followed onto the bridge. I stood waiting. The Chief hurried in, stopping short when he saw Vax.I paced. “You all know I suspended Lieutenant Holser’s commission because of his actions the day we found Tel-star.I have reviewed the matter and I conclude that I made a mistake.”

I glanced at the Chief, felt my face redden. “True, Mr.

Holser’s actions could be construed as mutinous. But I failed to take into account certain mitigating evidence.

First, the Captain had left the ship, and because of the emergency, Mr. Holser had no time to summon a superior.

For the moment, he was in charge. He chose not to Fuse.

It could be argued that as the senior officer present, the choice was his. I don’t take that view, but I can’t conclude beyond doubt that his action was mutinous, despite my utter disapproval.”

The other officers listened, absorbed. Vax, of course, hung on my every word. “Mr. Holser knew Admiralty would take a dim view of abandoning a Captain in interstellar space, and I must take that into account as well.” I couldn’t mention Vax’s true motive, but I knew it now.

“Therefore, I revoke my suspension of Mr. Holser’s commission and I restore him to active duty. Darla, can you erase a recording I ordered you to make?”

“Yes, Captain. You have to order me to erase it and copy your order into the Log. Then the recording is irretrievably wiped.”

I opened the Log and wrote. “Darla, erase my suspension of Mr. Holser from your records.”

“Aye aye, sir.”

I turned to Vax. “You’re reinstated. I still consider your actions reprehensible. They indicate an appalling lack of concern for the safety of the ship. I therefore fine you three months pay and deprive you of three months seniority. I rebuke you.”

He stood at attention, his eyes glistening. “Aye aye, sir.”

“Put on your uniform and report for duty.”

“Aye aye, sir!” A grin broke through his solemnity. With a crisp salute, he turned and strode off the bridge. He broke into a run before he reached the hatch.

“Clear the bridge, please.” I thumbed the caller. “Mr.

Tyre, escort our guests on board.”

Three hours later the shaken Governor walked slowly down the corridor with General Tho, Captain Forbee, and myself.

“You can’t stay to defend us, of course,” Governor Williams said.

“No, sir. Above all else I have to warn Admiralty.”

“Some of our local vessels have lasers, Governor.” General Tho. “If we can organize a unified command--”

“You have it,” I assured him. “Captain Forbee, put yourself under General Tho’s command regarding the defense of Hope Nation.”

“Aye aye, sir.”

The General looked relieved.

“I can’t believe you really found Grone,” Captain Forbee said. “That story of his... “

“It would explain the epidemic,” said the Governor.

“But why an epidemic? Why not bombs?”

I said, “If they’re unicellular organisms they certainly understand viruses.” We walked in chilled silence.

The General muttered, “If I hadn’t seen your holos I’d try to have you committed.”

“Judge Chesley would be happy to oblige.” They smiled.

“Gentlemen, you’ll be on your own. I’ll warn Miningcamp and shoot straight for Earth. You know you won’t have help for three years at least.” No radionics could outrun a fusion drive. We’d be seventeen months each way, and Admiralty would need time to mount a response.

“Right.” We paused at the airlock. The Governor glanced around uneasily. “I’ll feel better back on the surface. Lord God help us all.”

The next day was a blur of activity. Supplies, cargo, and passengers were loaded in record time. Later, I’d get a chance to meet our new passengers; for now I was so busy I hadn’t even checked the manifest. I remained on the bridge, answering questions and directing the harried crew, breaking only for meals.

The planet rotated below, visible in our screens. Amanda was somewhere below; if I looked carefully I could probably spot Centraltown. I sighed. I would learn to live without her.

At last we were ready to leave. I gave the Pilot the conn.

As soon as we cast off the lines he rocked us free.

We drifted ever faster from the station. In an hour we were far enough to Fuse; with deference he returned the conn to me. I fed our calculations to the puter.