Her scowl deepened, but I saw the chagrin in her eyes. She knew I was right. “I don’t even know where to start,” she said, with an almost apologetic look to Zack. “I don’t know what to ask.”
I took a deep breath. “Okay, then I’ll start. First thing then,” I stepped back, “Zack, I think it’s time for you to show the mother of your child, your best beloved, your demon form.”
He winced. “I’m not certain that’s the best starting place.”
“Possibly not,” I said with a shrug, “but at this point I think we need to dive right on into this. So, have at it.”
Jill made a low noise and set a hand on her belly. “The bean just started kicking like crazy,” she said, then glanced at Zack, worry tinged with panic in her eyes. I had a good idea I knew what she was thinking, what she was afraid of. The only demons she’d ever met were Kehlirik and Jekki. Would Zack be big and scary? Or small and furry?
Zack gave Jill a long look before glancing my way. “Under protest,” he stated with the faintest of glowers. But he stood and removed his suit jacket, dropped it on the bed. His tie followed, then the shirt. His movements remained very deliberate, and for the first time I saw the lines of strain on his face.
Shit. Now I felt guilty. The grim face by the car had reflected his true state. He’d put on the smiles and congeniality for our benefit. Zack was already under a ton of stress, and my pushing the issue wasn’t helping. But it was too late to turn back now. And hell, who knew how much longer Jill could have handled not knowing? The baby was only a month away, and these two were so stubborn the kid would be graduating from high school before they finally got around to talking this shit out.
Still, it behooved me to try and make it easier, if possible. “If there’s anything I can do to support you,” I told Zack quietly, “let me know.”
He paused his movements. “A jinig and reverse natulik,” he replied. “Trace and simply feed for a moment.”
Hot damn, those were two I actually knew. Like wards, these didn’t require the use of chalk, simply a surface on which to set them and weave the potency strands. I crouched and began to trace them on the floor, then realized he’d no doubt intentionally picked sigils I’d already learned.
Jill sucked in a breath and covered her belly with both hands. Her brow furrowed as she looked at Zack. “I think maybe she’s excited?”
Zack toed his shoes off, unzipped his pants and dropped trou. He smiled. “Yes, she is.”
Jill met his eyes, the fear in them beginning to fade. She even managed a small smile as she stroked her belly. Meanwhile, I did my best to be totally blasé about naked Zack’s human-form junk right at my eye level.
Zack pulled off his socks, stood with his eyes closed and began to draw through the sigils I’d traced. I remained crouched and carefully fed power to the sigils as needed.
For almost a minute nothing happened. I remained perfectly still as I felt him draw power. Jill watched him with wide eyes. Even the bean went still, or at least I assumed so, since Jill had stopped making little noises of discomfort.
And then his form abruptly broke into a billion pieces that dissolved into amorphous sparkly multicolored light, so beautiful as to be nearly incomprehensible.
He remained thus for what felt like millennia though it was probably more like half a minute, then I felt the draw on my support sigils. In the span of a single heartbeat, the billion pieces coalesced into the form of a demahnk, half a head taller than any other I’d seen. I blinked, as if waking up from a dream, only now realizing how very different this had been from the transformation I witnessed with Eilahn or the smooth shift of Helori.
Jill’s eyes filled with tears, and she gave Zack a weepy smile. “You’re gorgeous.”
Chiming softly, he stretched his delicate, iridescent white wings wide, then settled them close to his body. “Demahnk, sweetie.”
Jill wiped at her eyes. “Okay, wow.” She let out a weak laugh. “Wow.”
I sat on the floor, relieved as all hell, while Jill stood and moved to him. Almost a foot taller in this form, he towered over her. She hesitated, then touched his chest—tentatively at first, then with her whole hand upon his pec. He caressed her cheek with two fingers of a three fingered hand, then lowered his head and touched his forehead to hers.
“You’re still you,” she breathed. She closed her eyes and slid her arms around him, belly bumping into him as he enfolded her in his wings.
“Yes, only a different form,” he said, voice still very much Zack’s but infinitely richer, and imbued with the chimey birdsong qualities of the demahnk. “All else is the same.”
I climbed to my feet, insanely pleased that my intervention was working. So far, at least. “Perhaps you should go back to human for the rest of this,” I suggested to Zack. “There’s still some more explainin’ that needs to happen.”
He shook his head, chiming low. “I am yet unable.”
“Sorry.” I winced. “I don’t know how all that works.” I gestured to the wings and all of him to indicate the shape-change. “But I do think it’s time you told her why you’re here. With Ryan.” I met his violet eyes. “She’ll understand and accept that you need to spend so much time with him if she knows why.”
Zack dipped his head slightly. “I cannot.”
“Crap, that’s right.” Zack was still oathbound to not speak of Szerain’s crime or his fate to any who didn’t already know. “Will you be forced to intervene if I tell her?”
His lips parted in a small demahnk-smile. “No.”
A frown began to tighten Jill’s mouth. “Someone had better spill whatever this big secret is.”
I debated telling her she should sit down, but then I realized that would only piss her off again. “Ryan is actually the exiled demonic lord, Szerain. Zack is his guardian, and he’s pretty much been busting ass for the last fifteen or so years to make sure that Szerain remains sane in what’s a truly brutal imprisonment. All those long periods of needing to do shit with Ryan? Most of those are spent helping Szerain.”
To my private amusement, she sank to sit on the bed and stared at me in astonishment. Zack lowered himself into a sit-kneel.
“And your sweetie’s demon name is Zakaar,” I said, unable to resist adding one more level of weird to the whole thing.
She blinked, shook her head like a dog shedding water. “Wait. Ryan . . . Ryan is a demonic lord? Ryan?!”
“Weeelll, it’s complicated.” I grimaced and rubbed the back of my neck. “Ryan Kristoff is . . .” I had to swallow back a sudden wave of sadness. “He doesn’t actually exist. There was a real Ryan Kristoff and, as far as I can tell, he died and his, um, life was taken over as a cover for the exile of Szerain.” The grief clogged my throat briefly, and it was a few seconds before I could speak properly. “He’s an overlay, basically. An identity with a real person’s background, but he’s an aspect of Szerain. He’s not real.”
“Ryan Kristoff died in my arms,” Zack said.
I stared at him, unable to form any possible reply to that statement. I’d thought about it, rationally accepted the truth that the Ryan I knew and, yes, loved wasn’t a real person. But hearing it like that—from someone who knew—seemed to wrench my whole world off its axis. “What happened?” My voice cracked. Since I already knew the basics, I hoped that Zack had enough freedom around his oaths to fill in the details I so desperately needed.
“I sought a candidate for Szerain, for his exile. Similar in body and face.” He tipped his head back, inhaled deeply. “I was carefully watching many possible choices. Ryan Kristoff was the one to succumb in a circumstance that proved suitable. He and a friend went hiking in the Adirondack mountains. Ryan lost his footing and tumbled a hundred feet down a steep rocky slope.” Zack lifted one long-fingered hand, tilted it to indicate a precipitous grade. “His friend went for help. I went to Ryan.”