“Oh fine, what the hell.” I start lifting my shoulders up and
down to the rhythm and Seth grins at me.
“That’s my girl,” he says and blows out a cloud of smoke with
his lips puckered out.
We both start doing this funny jiving thing with our hands
and Luke laughs as he cranks up the music. For a second I
transform myself into a dancer. When the chorus hits again we all
take a deep breath and belt out the lyrics at the top of our lungs. I raise my hands above my head and shut my eyes. It’ll be all right.
It’ll be all right. Kayden will be all right.
Because I’m here, dancing, smiling, and sitting between two
guys, and if that can happen, then anything’s possible.
Kayden
I’ve been in the clinic for a week now and today should be a
really good morning. Doug has informed me that I can have
visitors outside of family and that I can make a few phone calls
throughout the day. When he gives me time to make the phone
call, however, I get stuck on who to call. My first instinct is to call Callie, but I haven’t talked to her since it happened and I’m not
sure she wants to talk to me after finding me like that. The idea of
finding out scares the shit out of me. Besides, I’m trying to keep
my distance and protect her from me because the last thing she
needs is my instability and fucked-up head.
I dial Luke’s number and lean back in the bed, watching the
storm outside my window as the phone rings and rings.
“Kayden?” he says, sounding confounded. There’s an eighties
song playing in the background and I can hear a lot of giggling.
“What’s up?” It sounds so stupid after I say it. There’s a long
pause and then someone starts singing really loudly and really off
key. “Is that Seth in the background?”
“Yeah.” He hesitates again. “Are you okay?”
I flick the rubber band with my finger. It snaps back, hits my
wrist, and sends a sting through my arm. “Kind of… Why are you
with Seth?”
“Because… we’re in the truck.” He seems conflicted. “We’re
headed to Afton to see you actually.”
I snap the rubber band against my wrist a few more times,
but it’s not stilling the anxiety twisting inside me. “When you say
we you mean…”
“I mean, Seth, me and…” He trails off. “And Callie.”
The singing stops and so does the music.
“Who are you talking to?” Callie asks.
When I hear her voice I swear to God my heart stops. I clutch
at the chord and wrap it around my wrist until it’s tight and cuts
off the circulation. I stare outside at the slush on the ground and
the banks of snow around the mostly vacant parking lot.
“Umm…” Luke struggles for words.
“You can tell her,” I say, because if they’re headed here then
I’m going to have to face her soon.
“It’s Kayden,” he tells her and then it gets quiet.
“Oh…” She’s perplexed and I don’t blame her. “Can I… Can I
talk to him?”
“Hold on,” Luke says and then asks me, “You want to talk to
Callie?”
“I…” I never get to discover my answer, and it sucks because
I’m dying to know how I feel. My response would have revealed
the truth about my fear and how bad it’s going to be when she
gets here. But like always, my mother walks in just at the right
moment and steals everything away from me.
“We need to talk.” Her chin is tipped high like she’s better
than everyone in the building and she’s carrying around a duffel
bag on her shoulder. “Now.”
“I gotta go.” I hang up, knowing I’m being a pussy and
dodging my feelings. I unravel the cord from my hand and lean
back in my bed, putting my feet up on it. I’m wearing a pair of
plaid pajama bottoms and an old blue T-shirt that has holes in it.
I’ve worn the outfit five times since I’ve been here and it’s getting old.
She heaves the duffel bag onto the foot of the bed and then
positions her hands on her hips. “You need to work on getting
better and getting out of here. It’s making our family look bad.”
I carefully hunch forward, because moving too fast still hurts
my side. “And what do you suggest I do, mother, because the
doctors seem to think differently. They think I need to stay here
and heal.”
“I don’t give a shit what the doctors think.” She unzips the
bag with a tug. “What I care about is that you get dressed in some
normal clothes, get everyone thinking you feel better, and then
come home so we can start planning what we’re going to do if
Caleb Miller presses charges.”
“I could always plead mental insanity.” Sarcasm drips from
my voice. “Maybe they’d just keep me here instead of sending me
to jail.”
Her face flushes red and she shifts the handle of her purse
higher onto her shoulder. “You think this is funny? Maybe I should
have your father come down here and talk some sense into you.”
No matter how hard I try, I’m sent straight back to that place
where I’m lying on the floor bleeding to death and completely
ready to accept it. I rub my hand across my face and then say
through clenched teeth, “I’ll see what I can do.”
She smiles and it looks out of place, like she’s the evil villain
about to execute her evil plan. She kisses my cheek and I can smell
the wine on her breath. Then she moves back and rubs her thumb
across my cheek. “I got lipstick on you.” She pulls her hand away
and smiles again. “Let’s work on getting you out of here.” She pats
my leg and then walks out of the room, leaving the door open. I
hear her say something to one of the doctors and then a nurse
shuts the door.
I take a long-sleeve thermal shirt out of the bag, which is
filled with jeans, shirts, and socks, and slip it on over my head.
Then I reach for a pair of jeans, ready to put on my full costume
and go lie to the world, just like I’ve been doing my entire life.
Chapter 4
#67 Reunite with something you thought you lost
Callie
We arrive in Afton late at night when the moon is a
ginormous orb in the charcoaled sky and the blizzard is creating a
veil in front of the truck, making it hard to see. We would have
made it here by dinnertime, but Seth made us stop for lunch and
play in the playhouse at McDonald’s. But it was kind of all our
faults for getting so carried away and staying until we got in
trouble by the manager.
I think we were all avoiding something. But what that is, I’m