Danilo restrained the retort that rose to his tongue. “Darilyn is our trail guide. Your promised husband has paid for her advice on how to get us to Thendara as safely and comfortably as possible. This is her business, after all. Do you not think we should take her advice?”
Bettany said nothing, only stared ahead. Within a quarter an hour, however, she began complaining. She had a headache, her saddle was too hard, she was cold, she was hot, she was hungry, she was bored. Danilo, who had almost no experience with children, tried at first to encourage her. Nothing he said lessened her distress. Clearly, she had no conception of the distance to Thendara or the importance of taking advantage of every hour of good weather. Very shortly, he was reduced to staring straight ahead, teeth clenched, and doing his best to ignore her.
Finally he burst out, “This incessant whining is making matters difficult for the very people who are trying to help you. Lord Hastur has charged me with your education in the cristoforofaith and anything else you might need to know as wife to a great lord. The lessons will begin now. A lady does not complain at every little discomfort! Nor does she sulk and pout like a spoiled brat.”
“I’m not spoiled! I can’t help being hungry—you would be, too, if you hadn’t eaten since yesterday! I’m not usedto this!” Bettany burst into tears. “I want to go home!”
Darilyn, who had been riding on a circuit of the caravan, reined her sturdy piebald gelding beside the distraught girl. “What is this? Did you not eat breakfast before we set out?”
“What do youcare?” Bettany glared at the Renunciate and stuck out her lower lip.
“I am responsible for the well-being of every person in my charge, little lady. If you are merely uncomfortable, that is something you must bear in good temper. But if you are not properly nourished, you cannot withstand the rigors of travel. If you become ill and we must stop, we risk becoming snowed in without shelter. You put all our lives in jeopardy. Do you see how your actions affect more than yourself ?”
“Oh . . .” Bettany said in a small, contrite voice. “I would not want anyone to diebecause of me.”
“Then I will ride beside you and show you how we Free Amazons eat while on a long trail. DomDanilo, would you be so good as to ride point?”
Grateful for the escape, Danilo nudged his horse into a trot until he came to the front of the caravan. Darilyn’s kindliness toward Bettany surprised him;. He had thought Darilyn—and all such women, who lived by their own labor and renounced the protection of men—hard and unmotherly. Within a few minutes, Darilyn and Bettany were laughing together. Bettany’s chronic petulance disappeared, revealing her to be surprisingly pretty. What her natural temperament might be, Danilo could not tell. She had been taught neither manners nor self-discipline, but there was something more in her that troubled him, an oddness. He could not puzzle it out.
He could not see any man of sense being content with such a wife. He thought of Linnea, with her keen mind and trained laran,and more than that, her generosity, her sensitivity . . . all the things he had not wanted to admit but that made her the ideal consort for Regis. In fact, he could think of no other woman who posed lessof a threat to his relationship with Regis.
Darilyn persuaded Bettany that it was fun to nibble on trail food as they rode along, and the party made good progress. The women set a pace that was not too draining for the animals but took advantage of the fine weather. As afternoon waned, they pressed on, arriving at a good-sized village at a crossroads.
The inn there was run by two Renunciates, friends of Darilyn. One took charge of the horses, patting their necks and speaking to them with such affection that Danilo had no doubt they would be pampered and fed with as much care as their riders.
The common room of the inn was clean and warm, if plainly furnished. By this time, Bettany had passed from her earlier cheer to peevishness and then to sullen silence. She had given up complaining how tired and hungry and cold she was and sat where she had been placed before the fire. The second innkeeper set about providing hot drinks for them all while dinner was prepared and baggage brought up to their rooms.
Danilo carried a cup of jacoto Bettany and pulled up a stool beside her. “Here, drink this. It will warm you.” He took a packet of honeyed nuts from his jacket pocket and held it out. “Eat these as well. I always carry them on the trail for times such as this. Dinner will be soon, but it is best to have something to tide you over.”
Like an obedient child, she sipped the stimulant drink and nibbled on the nuts. Within minutes, her face, which had been very pale, brightened. “These are good. Th-thank you.”
“It has been a long, hard day for someone unaccustomed to travel. This must all seem very strange.”
“Oh! As to that—” Her eyes turned glassy, then she gathered herself. “I see you mean to help me. Tell me, what sort of man is my new lord? Is it true he is . . . not as other men?”
Danilo sat back, momentarily at a loss as to how to answer. “I am sure he will be a good husband to you.”
Temper flashed in her eyes. “Do not treat me like a child to be cozened with pretty promises! I have heard . . .” she lowered her voice to a whisper, “he is deformed. As a man.”
Deformed? Danilo felt a rush of outrage. He mistrusted Rinaldo for many reasons, but the poor man’s birth was not among them, nor should it be.
“I believe you mean he is emmasca,” Danilo said firmly. “It is nota perversion, but the way he is made.”
He paused, surprised at his own vehemence. What he had just asserted was as true for Regis and himself as for Rinaldo. The way each of us is made.He did not know the particulars of Rinaldo’s anatomy and inclinations, nor did he want to. He knew how difficult it was to reconcile one’s nature with incompatible demands. Had Rinaldo undergone a similar struggle, or had he found acceptance in the cristoforocommunity? If the doctrine was harsh in some areas, it could be compassionate in others.
From what Rinaldo had said, he responded sexually to women, at least in theory. He was not ignorant of what passed between husbands and wives. He must have had good reason to think he could perform the role of husband.
Danilo said as much to Bettany, adding, “The marriage bed is not the only test of a man’s ability. There are certain normal functions that occur even in young unmarried men—”
“I know—I—” Blushing furiously, the girl looked down.
Danilo took the cup from her and set it down on the hearth. “ Chiya,I am sorry! I should not have spoken so crudely to you.”
Bettany twisted her hands together as tears streamed down her cheeks. Danilo laid one of his hands on hers to comfort her. Her fingers were like ice, but the physical contact brought an unexpected psychic link. He himself was not a strong telepath, but he had always been able to sense the emotions of others. Now he felt her fatigue, her irritability, her fear, her self-absorption. He also sensed a memory so distorted and bizarre that it colored everything else in her mind. In reflex, he pulled his hands away and slammed his laranbarriers tight.
Brief as the rapport had been, he knew what he had touched. This poor young woman, this difficult child, had been caught up in a Ghost Wind. She must have been away from home at the time, for the plants producing the highly psychedelic pollen grew only at high altitudes. Under the influence of the airborne particles, men were known to have gone berserk. Bettany was lucky to be alive and with any portion of her mind intact.
She had calmed and was staring at him with the glassy expression he now understood. He did not want to touch her again.