The sheikh turned in the river at this sound and saw him, and without any sign of alarm replied, ‘Salaam alaikum, ’ raising the tips of his fingers to his brow and then opening his hand in a gesture of greeting. The little man raised his gun and sighted it on the sheikh, and the sheikh stood still in the river waiting to be shot.

All this happened very slowly, it seemed to me at the time, and took perhaps five seconds. Then everything speeded up again. I found my voice and a shriek came out, not the words of warning I had wanted to shout. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Fred moving towards the bank, wading through the waist-deep water with the fluency of an otter. But he had no chance of reaching us in time. And if he did, the little man would most likely have shot him too, and me. That was probably the plan. There were no bodyguards around. The sheikh never allowed anyone near the river to disturb the tranquillity of his fishing. I closed my eyes and then opened them again as the first shots were fired.

They went straight up into the air as the little man jerked inexplicably backwards, howling and grabbing at his face. The gun fell to the ground from his hand as he clutched at something invisible. Somewhere behind I glimpsed Colin straining on a big fishing rod bent nearly double. He had somehow cast and hooked the little man, and was now reeling him in.

Then I fainted, or at least somehow disconnected from the proceedings. When I became aware of events again I was lying on the grass and Fred was bending over me, patting the back of my hand and saying, ‘Harriet, Harriet. Are you all right?’ Or was he saying, ‘It’s all right’? There was a buzzing in my ears and I couldn’t quite hear. Then things came slowly back into focus, and I was able to sit up and look around me while Fred supported me with his arm around my shoulders.

The little man was now sitting on a bank some yards away, clutching his cheek with a bloodstained handkerchief. He was talking volubly to the sheikh in Arabic, and weeping at the same time. Four of the sheikh’s Yemeni guards stood nearby. They had abandoned their fishing rods, and stood with their hands on the hilts of the great, curved jambia daggers that they wore. I had no doubt they would cut the little man into shreds given the slightest encouragement to do so by the sheikh.

I heard Colin say, ‘Aye, I seen him come up the glen on the other bank, but I had just had a tug on my line from a fish, so I didn’t take much notice for a wee minute. Then I knew he was wrong. His kilt was a Campbell tartan. There’s nae Campbells in this glen. They were all chased away many hundreds of years since. So I left my fish for another day and came and cast my hook at the wee man, instead.’ Then he laughed and said, ‘He didn’t put up as much of a fight as the fish would have. I had him on the grass in three minutes.’

I never saw the little man again. I believe from what I heard from Malcolm later that a few days after that he was flown back to the Yemen inside a hamper marked ‘Harrods’, on the sheikh’s jet.

The sheikh told us that evening on the plane to London, ‘Poor man! He was no assassin. He was a goatherd whose goats had died. He had been told his family would be killed if he did not do this thing, and that they would be given thirty goats as diyah, blood money, if he did. How he got this far is a mystery. He spoke little English, and he was wearing the most extraordinary clothes.’

‘What will happen to him?’ asked Fred.

‘Oh, that is not up to me. He begged my forgiveness, and of course I forgave him. He is not an evil man. The people who sent him are another matter. Long ago we pushed them out of our country, but still they are a danger. See how they can try and strike me from their caves in Afghanistan or Pakistan. But the man himself will be tried by a sharia court, and I am afraid the penalty may be severe. I will take care of his family when I return. It is all I can do.’

‘At least you are safe now, thank God,’ I said. The sheikh looked at me fondly.

‘Yes, we should thank God for this escape. But they will try again, Ms Harriet. They will keep trying until I am dead.’

17

House of Commons

Thursday 9th October

The House met at half past eleven o’clock

PRAYERS

(Mr Speaker in the Chair)

Oral Answers to Questions

The Prime Minister

Mr Hamish Stewart (Cruives & The Bogles) (SNP):

If he will list his official engagements for Thursday 9th October?

The Prime Minister (Mr Jay Vent):

Later this morning I will be in meetings with ministerial colleagues, and for most of the rest of the day.

Mr Hamish Stewart:

Will the Prime Minister find time during the course of his meetings with colleagues to explain his support for yet another example of how this government and recent governments have considered it appropriate to interfere with the political, cultural and religious affairs of a sovereign Middle Eastern country?

The Prime Minister:

I presume the honourable gentleman is referring to the Yemen salmon project?

Hamish Stewart:

That is correct. Will the Prime Minister explain to the House why this government is sponsoring the export of live Scottish salmon to die miserably in a desert country? Is he aware that salmon fishing is not a recognised activity in the Muslim world? Does he appreciate the gross religious and cultural intrusion this project represents? Has the export of salmon been in any way regulated by appropriate agencies such as the Food Standards Agency? Is the RSPCA aware of this project? Can the Prime Minister assure us that he is content these Scottish fish will not suffer as they die from heat stress in the sand?

The Prime Minister:

That is quite a lot of questions to answer at one time. However, if the honourable member for Cruives & The Bogles has paused to draw breath, I will respond as best I can. The Yemen salmon project is a privately funded project which does not involve this government in any way. Nor does it constitute interference, political, cultural or otherwise, with the affairs of the Republic of the Yemen. On the contrary, it is a vindication of this government’s multicultural policies that a Yemeni citizen has come to think of this country as his second home, and that as result of his UK residency he has developed an interest in salmon fishing and as a result of that, has involved UK scientists and engineers in this project.

Of course we are also aware that a government agency, the National Centre for Fisheries Excellence, has been selected as the primary source for the science for the project. And that is why this government can rightly be proud of its continuing support for environmental science and environmental projects, something that does not appear to be a priority for the party opposite.

Mr Andrew Smith (Glasgow South) (Lab):

Is the member for Cruives & The Bogles aware that the export of salmon to the Yemen actually represents a very large order with the respected Scottish firm of McSalmon Aqua Farms? As a result of that order I believe six more Scottish jobs are being created in a region where unemployment has always been high. Of course, these jobs are not in the member for Cruives & The Bogles’ constituency, nor are they in mine, but I welcome this tribute to Scottish environmental engineering and this boost for Scottish jobs. I am surprised the member for Cruives & The Bogles is not more supportive of such matters.

Mr Hamish Stewart:

The right honourable member for Glasgow South might do better to become more familiar with the affairs of his own constituency before he offers me advice on the affairs of others. [Cries of ‘Shame!’ The House is called to order by Mr Speaker.]