"Someone should sit with him," Carina said. "He shouldn't be alone."
"Nyall can spend the night in a chair," Jolie decided, and the river pilot made no protest. "The rest of you look worse than when you dragged yourselves out of the river. Off with you, to bed. Wake when you will. There'll be food enough for you whenever you rise." The others fell tiredly into line for the journey upstairs. The gaming house was silent, its patrons and its ladies asleep, and the barkeeper was just finishing up his sweeping. With all the night's excitement, Tris doubted that he would quickly find sleep, but his exhausted body decided otherwise as he stretched out on his bed, and sleep overtook him.
Kiara guided her cousin into their room like an overtired child. "Let me help you dress for bed," she said solicitously, but Carina shook her head.
"Not yet. I need to clear my head from the working." Her voice was ragged. She hadn't bothered to heal her own bruised cheek. The purple of the wound made the dark circles beneath her eyes more pronounced.
Kiara stooped beside the fireplace to pour a cup of hot tea from the boiling kettle Jolie's people had readied. She pushed the warm cup into Carina's hands, and the healer paced over to the window, looking out across the moonlit river, toward the darkness on the banks of the other side.
"Jonmarc had to know what would happen if they caught him," Carina said after a long silence.
"He knew."
"Then why did he come after us?" Carina turned from the window. Her hands trembled as she raised the steaming cup to her lips, and sipped the hot liquid like elixir.
Kiara kicked away from the wall and ambled slowly over, resting against the back of a chair. "He told Jolie it was because you saved his life, because you were his friends. Jolie tried to talk him out of it. I thought they might come to blows."
"I might have liked to see that. I'd put my money on Jolie."
"Not on this one. The Lady herself couldn't have stopped him."
Carina looked down, as if she sought the answers to her questions on the surface of her tea. "I wasn't frightened when we went into the water. It was so cold. I knew that if we didn't reach shore, it would be over quickly, like falling asleep. Carroway's a strong swimmer. He pulled me out."
"I guessed where we were when the soldiers came. But I don't think I was frightened until the next day, after the tribunal, when the soldiers kept stopping at the stockade. I knew what they thought should be done with us, just by their gestures." She shivered. "Some things don't need words."
"Carroway was frightened, but he tried to take care of me. I think we'd both given up hope. And then, when Jonmarc came..." She shook her head. "It's my fault they captured him. If I'd kept a proper hold on him, he would have come through with us."
"It was an accident," Kiara protested. "You can't blame yourself."
Carina shook her head. "I tried to hold on, but we had been outside all night, still wet from the river, and my hands were too numb. Mother and Childe, Kiara, how did we ever get mixed up in this?"
Kiara laid a strong arm around her shoulders, hugging Carina tightly. "Blame the Lady. I know you'd give anything to be getting ready for the Hawthorn Moon back in Isencroft."
"But that's not possible, is it? If Tris doesn't succeed, we'll never be able to celebrate like that again. I never wanted to make history, Kiara. I just wanted to heal my patients and not worry about the rest."
"I don't think any of us bargained for this," Kiara said reassuringly. "No one but the Goddess could have put together such a group of misfits. Look at the bright side. The healings you've worked on Jonmarc alone should qualify you to open the best healer's school in the Winter Kingdoms."
Carina smiled. "You may be right. But wouldn't I have to have him stuffed and mounted to display?" Tired as she was, the absurdity of that image made her chuckle.
"I'll remember to tell him you've finally found a use for him, once he wakes up."
Carina looked away. "What's wrong?" Kiara asked.
"I'm so afraid, Kiara. After what happened with Ric, I've been afraid to let Jonmarc get too close. But all day yesterday, not knowing whether we could get to him in time, I can't pretend anymore. Goddess help me, Kiara, I love him," she said, tears streaming down her face. "I can't help loving him, but I'm so afraid I'll lose him, too."
Kiara wrapped her arms around her cousin. "Have you noticed how often Tris starts a sentence, 'If I live to take the throne?' Every time he says that, I think my heart will break. But he's right, of course. We both know the odds. This whole thing is an awful gamble—and I'm not sure I'd place bets on us."
"Jonmarc has lost so much. I don't know how he has the courage to try again."
"Jonmarc is a soldier. Soldiers know better than anyone that you can't take tomorrow for granted. All you have is today. I guess that's all we ever have, but most of the time, we're not aware of it. It's not too late. Stop running away, and let him catch you."
"Maybe I should let him recover a little, so the shock doesn't do him in." Carina gave Kiara a hug. She slipped out of her healer's robes, pulled her chemise close around her against the chill, and crawled tiredly into bed. "If I don't get some sleep, I'll be done in. There's more to do before Jonmarc's going to be able to go anywhere."
"I'll sit up for a while, in case you need me," Kiara offered.
"Thank you." Carina yawned, but she was asleep before Kiara could reply.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
C'ARINA woke at dawn. She shook her head, —-trying to separate the reality of the night before from the dreams that had made her sleep sparse and fitful. Her bare feet had hardly touched the cold floorboards before she tore her shift over her head and slipped her robes in place. Her stomach growled but she ignored it, intent on checking her patient.
Nyall sprawled snoring in a chair near the fire in Vahanian's room, rousing as she entered. She motioned for him to be quiet and indicated with a jerk of her head that he was free to join the others for breakfast. Gratefully, the river pilot abandoned his post.
Carina approached Vahanian hesitantly. She and Tris had worked until exhaustion on the healing, but there had been much left undone. She drew a chair up beside the cot and looked silently at Vahanian, afraid to discover whether he slept or had not yet regained consciousness. Carina closed her eyes and stretched out her hand, running it lightly just above his face and chest to ensure that she had overlooked nothing vital. A hand locked around her wrist with an iron grip, and her eyes snapped open to find Vahanian looking at her.
"Are you dead, too?"
"I'm not dead," she said gently. "Neither arc you. You're at Jolie's place. You're safe."
Vahanian dropped his hand, and closed his eyes. "How?" he managed with a dry mouth.
Carina fetched a glass of water from a pitcher on the nightstand and helped him sit enough to take a drink.
"Tris bent a few rules to go after you," she said, settling him again.
"Arontala—"
"Tris managed to do it without much magic. With some help from Sakwi and Carroway."
"The Goddess," Vahanian murmured. "I saw—"
"You saw one of the river ghosts," Carina explained, wetting a cloth and laying it across his forehead. She checked his bandages as she spoke, then nudged him onto his side to assure herself that the welts on his back were healing nicely. "The rider was Tris. Sakwi managed the fog, and Carroway handled the disguise. I wouldn't be surprised if Sakwi sleeps for a week, after what we've put him through."
"I didn't think... anyone would come."
Carina bit her lip as tears filled her eyes unbidden. "Did you really think we'd leave you there?"