COUNTRY FELLOW #1

Sure, he's the friend of the poor, and good luck to him.

COUNTRY FELLOW #2

Was it any business of ours?

RODERICK

(shouting)

Be off to your work, you pack of rascals, or you will have a good taste of my thong.

(to Mrs. O'Reilly)

Have you lost much?

MRS. O'REILLY

Everything -- my purse, containing upwards of a hundred guineas, my jewels, my snuff-boxes, watches. And all because this blundering coward fell to his knees...

FOOTMAN

Be fair, ma'am, them wasn't so much. Didn't he return you the thirteen pence in copper, and the watch, saying it was only pinchbeck?

MRS. O'REILLY

Don't be insolent, or I'll report you to the Captain.

FOOTMAN

Sorry, ma'am.

He shuffles a few steps away and frowns in the direction that the Captain has vanished.

MRS. O'REILLY

That fool didn't know what was the meaning of a hundred-pound bill, which was in the pocket-book that the fellow took from me.

RODERICK

I am riding to Dublin myself, and if your ladyship will allow me the honor of riding with you, I shall do my best to protect you from further mishap.

MRS. O'REILLY

But I shouldn't like to put you to such trouble, Mister... ?

RODERICK

O'Higgins... Mohawk O'Higgins.

They stop at the inn.

RODERICK

(very gallantly)

As you have been robbed of your purse, may I have permission to lend your ladyship a couple of pieces to pay any expenses which you might incur before reaching your home?

MRS. O'REILLY

(smiling)

That's very kind of you, Mr. O'Higgins.

He gives her two gold pieces.

Roderick and Mrs. O'Reilly finishing their meal. We will hear dialogue underneath Roderick's voice over.

RODERICK (V.O.)

How different was her lively rattle to the vulgar wenches at Kilwangan assemblies. In every sentence, she mentioned a lord or a person of quality. To the lady's question about my birth and parentage, I replied that I was a young gentleman of large fortune, that I was going to Dublin for my studies, and that my mother allowed me five hundred per annum.

MRS. O'REILLY

You must be very cautious with regard to the company you should meet in Dublin, where rogues and adventurers of all countries abound. I hope you will do me the honor of accepting lodgings in my own house, where Captain O'Reilly will welcome with delight, my gallant young preserver.

Paying the bill.

RODERICK (V.O.)

Perhaps had I been a little older in the world's experience, I should have begun to see that Madame O'Reilly was not the person of fashion she pretended to be; but, as it was, I took all her stories for truth, and, when the landlord brought the bill for dinner, paid it with the air of a lord. Indeed, she made no motion to produce the two pieces I had lent her.

They ride by.

RODERICK (V.O.)

And so we rode on slowly towards Dublin, into which city we made our entrance at nightfall. The rattle and splendor of the coaches, the flare of the linkboys, the number and magnificence of the houses, struck me with the greatest wonder; though I was careful to disguise this feeling.

RODERICK (V.O.)

We stopped at length at a house of rather mean appearance, and were let into a passage which had a great smell of supper and punch.

Captain O'Reilly, a stout red-faced man, without a periwig, and in a rather tattered nightgown and cap.

Roderick and Mrs. O'Reilly.

CAPTAIN O'REILLY

Mr. O'Higgins, I cannot say how grateful I am for your timely assistance to my wife.

RODERICK

I am only sorry that I was unable to prevent the villain from carrying off all her ladyship's money and pearls.

CAPTAIN O'REILLY

Mr. O'Higgins, we are in your debt, and rest assured, sir, you have friends in this house whenever you are in Dublin.

(pours a glass)

Mister O'Higgins, I wonder if I know your good father?

RODERICK

Which O'Higgins do you know? For I have never heard your name mentioned in my family.

CAPTAIN O'REILLY

Oh, I am thinking of the O'Higgins of Redmondstown. General O'Higgins was a close friend of my wife's dear father, Colonel Granby Somerset.

RODERICK

Ah -- I see. No, I'm afraid mine are the O'Higgins of Watertown.

CAPTAIN O'REILLY

I have heard of them.

There are relics of some mutton-chops and onions on a cracked dish before them.

CAPTAIN O'REILLY

My love, I wish I had known of your coming, for Bob Moriaty and I just finished the most delicious venison pasty, which His Grace the Lord Lieutenant, sent us, with a flash of sillery from his own cellar. You know the wine, my dear? But as bygones are bygones, and no help for them, what say ye to a fine lobster and a bottle of as good claret as any in Ireland? Betty, clear these things from the table, and make the mistress and our young friend welcome to our home.

Captain O'Reilly searches his pockets for some money to give to Betty.

CAPTAIN O'REILLY

I'm sorry, Mr. O'Higgins, but I don't seem to have any small change. May I borrow a ten-penny piece to give to the girl?

MRS. O'REILLY

I have some money, my dear. Here, Betty, go to the fishmonger and bring back our supper, and mind you get the right change.

She takes out one of the golden guineas Roderick gave to her.

They are eating.

RODERICK (V.O.)

Our supper was seasoned, if not by any great elegance, at least by a plentiful store of anecdotes, concerning the highest personages of the city, with whom, according to himself, the captain lived on terms of the utmost intimacy. Not to be behind hand with him, I spoke of my own estates and property as if I was as rich as a duke.

The couple wishing Roderick goodnight.

RODERICK (V.O.)

Had I been an English lad, the appearance of the chamber I occupied might, indeed, have aroused instantly my suspicion and distrust. But we are not particular in Ireland on the score of neatness, hence the disorder of my bed-chamber did not strike me so much.

Broken door.

RODERICK (V.O.)

Was there a lock to the door, or a hasp to fasten it to?

Dress lying over bed.

RODERICK (V.O.)

Though my counterpane was evidently a greased brocade dress of Mrs. O'Reilly.

Cracked mirror.

RODERICK (V.O.)

And my cracked toilet-glass not much bigger than a half-crown, yet I was used to these sort of ways in Irish houses, and still thought myself to be in that of a man of fashion.

Drawers, full of junk.

RODERICK (V.O.)

There was no lock to the drawers, which, when they did open, were full of my hostess' rouge-pots, shoes, stays, and rags.

In the middle of the night, Mrs. O'Reilly comes to Roderick's room on a flimsy pretext, and in the course of events, he has his first woman.

Roderick, Captain and Mrs. O'Reilly.

CAPTAIN O'REILLY

I needn't ask whether you had a comfortable bed. Young Fred Pimpleton slept in it for seven months, during which he did me the honor to stay with me, and if he was satisfied, I don't know who else wouldn't be.