I see examples of this kind of persistence and determination everywhere. My particular heroes, because of my background, are those people who came from humble origins. A fellow CEO friend came from a blue-collar family in the Midwest—his father, like mine, was a laborer for forty-odd years. He'll tell you he isn't the smartest guy in the room, he doesn't have the Ivy League pedigree of his colleagues, and he hasn't climbed the greasy pole by getting a boost from his family. But today, he is one of the most respected CEOs in his industry.

His formula is not complicated, but it is rigorous. He talks to at least fifty people each day. He spends hours a week walking his company plant talking to employees up and down the ladder. If you send an e-mail to him or his assistant, you can be sure there will be a response within hours. He attributes his success to the blue-collar work ethic and sensibilities he was raised with by his father. About his more starched white-collar colleagues, he once told me that while he had learned what these people know, they would never have an opportunity to learn what he knew.

Now, you have to work hard to be successful at reaching out to others, but that doesn't mean you have to work long. There is a difference. Some people think building a network requires eighteen-hour days slogging through meetings and phone calls. If I'm slogging, or even if it feels like slogging, I'm not doing my job—at least not well. Or perhaps I'm in the wrong job. Building a network of friends and colleagues is about building relationships and friendships. It should be fun, not time-consuming. When your network is set, your goals written down, you'll find plenty of hours during the day to do what needs to be done.

How do I meet everyone I want to meet during the course of a week? Someone once remarked cynically, "I'd have to clone myself to take all the meetings you take."

"Ah, you're onto something," I responded. "I don't clone myself. I clone the event."

Here's what I mean. A few months ago, I flew into New York for a two-day business stint. There were a number of people I wanted to see: an old client and friend of mine who was the former president of Lego and was now trying to figure out what he wanted to do with the rest of his life, the COO of Broadway Video, with whom I wanted to discuss a new branded entertainment TV show for one of my clients, and a close friend that I hadn't seen in too long.

I had two days, three people I wanted to see, and only one available time slot to see them all. How do you manage a situation like this?

I "cloned" the dinner and invited all of them to join me. Each would benefit from knowing the others, and I'd be able to catch up with all of them and perhaps even get some creative input about the new TV show. My friend, who has a fantastic sense of humor, would enjoy the group and add a little levity to what might have been just a stodgy business meeting.

I asked my friend to join me a half hour in advance at the hotel I was staying at for a little one-on-one time. And if the details of the project I was discussing with the COO were private, I might schedule a little one-on-one time with him after dinner.

The point is I'm constantly looking to include others in whatever I'm doing. It's good for them, good for me, and good for everyone to broaden their circle of friends. Sometimes I'll take potential employees for a workout and conduct the interview over a run. As a makeshift staff meeting, I'll occasionally ask a few employees to share a car ride with me to the airport. I figure out ways to as much as triple my active working day through such multitasking. And, in the process, I'm connecting people from different parts of my "community."

The more new connections you establish, the more opportunities you'll have to make even more new connections. As Robert Metcalfe, the inventor of Ethernet, says: The value of a network grows proportional to the square of the number of its users. In the case of the Internet, every new computer, every new server, and every new user added expands the possibilities for everyone else who's already there. The same principle holds true in growing your web of relationships. The bigger it gets, the more attractive it becomes, and the faster it grows. That's why I say that a network is like a muscle—the more you work it, the bigger it gets.

Such cloning is also a good way to ensure that a meeting or gettogether is worthwhile. If I'm meeting someone whom I don't know that well, I might invite someone I do know just to make sure the meeting does not become a waste of time. Mentees, for instance, get a special kick out of sitting in on such meetings— and it can be a great learning opportunity. It gets them face time with me, they get a chance to see business in action, and I make sure our reason for the meeting gets accomplished. In most cases, they end up contributing something to the meeting as well. Don't underestimate young people's ability to find creative new insight.

When you try this sort of thing, pay special attention to the chemistry between people. Do you have a sense of who will get on well with each other? It doesn't mean that everyone has to have the same background and sensibility. In fact, a nice mix of different professions and personalities can be the perfect recipe for a terrific gathering. Trust your instincts. One litmus test I often use is to ask myself if I think I'll have fun. If the answer is yes, that is usually a good sign that the dynamic will work.

Have you taken a colleague to lunch lately? Why not invite him or her out today—and include a few other people from different parts of your company or business network.

Soon, you'll have an ever-expanding web of friends and contacts.

Learn from Your Setbacks

For all his legendary success and greatness as a president, Abraham Lincoln lost all the time. Lincoln experienced numerous business, political, and personal setbacks over his life. But he never let any of his failures discourage him from pursuing his goals.

Lincoln failed in business. He failed as a farmer. He lost running for state legislature. He had a nervous breakdown. He was rejected for a job as a land officer. W h e n he was finally elected to the legislature, he lost the vote to be speaker. He ran for Congress and lost. He ran for and lost a U.S. Senate seat. He ran for vice president and lost. He ran for the Senate and lost a g a i n . A n d , when he was finally elected president, the nation he was elected to lead broke apart. But by this time, all the activities, experiences, and people he came to know in the process helped him set a direction for that country that will stand as one of America's great legacies.

My point is, behind any successful person stands a long string of failures. But toughness and tenacity like Lincoln's can overcome these setbacks. Lincoln knew the only w a y to gain ground, to move f o r w a r d , to turn his goals into reality, was to learn from his setbacks, to stay engaged, and press on!