I also print out and carry these lists around with me wherever I go. They focus my efforts in cabs between meetings. I have something palpable to encourage me to reach out. Some of the lists you create will be related to your action plans; others are more general, helping you to stay connected. The way you organize your lists can be fluid. I have lists by geographical location, by industry, by activity (other runners, for instance, or people who like to go out on the town), whether they're an acquaintance or friend, and so on.

Adding to the names on your lists is simply a matter of looking in the right place. In the beginning stages at YaYa, I read all the trade magazines having to do with advertising and games. If I read about someone who fell into one of my categories, I'd put him on a list and find out his contact information.

When you're looking for people to reach out to, you'll find them everywhere. One great resource for making lists is—it almost sounds absurd—other people's lists. Newspapers and magazines do rankings of this sort all the time.

Long before I became one of CrairCs "40 Under 40," for example, I had been ripping out that list for years. I clip out lists of top CEOs, most admired marketers, the nation's most progressive entrepreneurs—all of these kinds of lists are published in local and national publications; every industry has something similar.

You want not only to know who the players in your field are but eventually to be recognized as one of those players. The people who are on Crain's "40 Under 40" aren't necessarily the forty best businesspeople. They are, however, probably the forty most connected. And they probably all have lunched with one another at one time or another. When you get to know these people, and the people they know (including the journalists at Crain's responsible for the "40 Under 40"), you're that much more likely to be on the list yourself the next time it appears.

There's another category you might want to add, something I call my "aspirational contacts." There are those extremely highlevel people who have nothing to do with my business at hand but are just, well, interesting or successful or both. The people on that list maybe anyone from heads of state and media moguls, to artists and actors, to people others speak highly of. I list these people, too.

If you could see my Palm, I could show you the contact information for Richard Branson, chairman of the Virgin empire. Now, I don't know Richard Branson . . . yet. But I want to. If you scroll down a bit farther, you'll find Howard Stringer, CEO of Sony Corp. of America. He was on my aspirational list once. I now know Howard.

People get a chuckle out of this, but the results speak for themselves.

Remember, if you're organized, focused, and a stickler for taking names, there's no one that's out of reach.

As for me, my three years at YaYa came to a close. In 2002,

Forbes magazine reported on our extraordinary rise to success as a start-up that had come from nowhere with a totally new concept. The concept of advergaming gained a cultural currency in the marketplace, and the term is now used by CEOs and journalists alike. The other day I overheard a CEO, who didn't know we had created the word, bragging about the innovative tool called "advergaming" that had led to a measurable increase in the sales and recognition of his product. As planned, YaYa was ultimately sold to a public company, giving investors access to the liquid currency they were looking for and giving YaYa the operating capital it needed. And it's clear that without that bunch of lists to thank, YaYa would never have made it beyond the first year of operations.

9. Warming the Cold Call

Cold calls turn even the most competent of souls into neurotic messes. I can relate to those who go catatonic at the very idea of calling a stranger.

So how do you manage a cold call?

First, it's all about attitude. Your attitude. You're never going to be completely ready to meet new people; there is no perfect moment. Your fears will never be completely quieted, because inviting rejection is never going to be appealing. There are always a hundred reasons to procrastinate. The trick is to just plunge right in. Remember, if you don't believe you are going to get what you want from the call, you probably won't. So, in the words of Caddy Shack, "Be the ball." You have to envision yourself winning to win.

You have to view getting to know new people as a challenge and an opportunity. The very idea should spark your competitive fires, silencing the wallflower in all of us that shies away from socially adventuresome behavior.

And second, cold calls are for suckers. I don't call cold—ever. I've created strategies that ensure every call I make is a warm one.

Let me give you an example. Jeff Arnold, founder of WebMD, is a friend. He had recently bought out the rights and patents for a technology that puts digital content on a miniature DVD disk for a unique delivery. One use for this technology is placing these small disks on the lids of fountain beverages. Picture getting a soda from McDonald's; on the top of your drink is a small diskette containing games, music, and/or videos. With 20 billion or so fountain beverages sold each year, this is a compelling new form to get digital content into American hands.

In talking with Jeff and his partner, Thomas lull, I was told about the deal they had just closed with a movie theater company to distribute their DVDs on beverages sold at theaters. Jeff and Thomas thought that, given the demographics of moviegoers, a company like Sony Electronics could stand to benefit from this new distribution technology. But they didn't know whom to contact at Sony and came to me for thoughts.

I had met Sir Howard Stringer, CEO of Sony, a number of times, so I put a call into his office. But instead of just waiting for Howard to get back to me, I wanted to find a few other paths as well. At the time, I couldn't think of anyone else within my network of contacts who could hook me up with the right decision maker within Sony. When no one responded to my phone calls or e-mails, I researched which agencies serviced Sony, and I found that Brand Buzz, a marketing agency within advertising giant Young & Rubicam, counted Sony as one of its top clients.

Furthermore, the person who was CEO of Brand Buzz at the time, John Partilla, is a close friend of mine.

So I called him. "Hey, John, I've got two things for you. One, I want you to meet a buddy of mine named Jeff Arnold. He's brilliant and creative and you should know him. He's the guy who founded WebMD and he's started a new company, Convex Group, which may need your services down the line. And two, Convex is putting out this incredible technology that distributes digital content in a new way. I think Sony would appreciate being aware of it."

In a sense, by reaching out in this way, I was offering John two opportunities: a chance to know someone of importance and interest, perhaps for new business, through Jeff, and a chance to look good with the business he already had—Sony—by bringing them new opportunities.

John was happy to make the connection. He knew the perfect guy, the new head of Media & Internet Strategies at Sony, Serge Del Grosso. I asked John to send a brief introductory e-mail ahead of my call and CC me in the process. By having him copy me on the e-mail, in all subsequent correspondence to Serge, I could include John, and put some urgency behind our meeting. Tacitly, as a result, both John and I were now waiting for a meeting with Serge.

As with so many business dealings, that alone didn't do the deed. Serge was busy, and I heard nothing back from him or his administrative assistant after several e-mails. This isn't unusual. Frequently, people won't get back to you. You have to put your ego aside and persist in calling or writing. And when you do finally connect, don't sabotage your efforts by expressing how annoyed you are that they didn't get back to you as quickly as you would have liked. Nor should you apologize for your persistence. Just dive in as if you caught him on the first call. Make it comfortable for everyone.