IT WAS 9:55 AM WHEN THE APOCALYPTIC PHONE call came in. I had just finished my morning coffee chores, checked up on Lenny (who was near death, but working like a slave on the next issue’s paste-ups), retrieved the Daily News and the New York Times from Mr. Crockett, and sat down at my desk to casually (okay, frantically) search for more articles about the murder of Virginia Pratt.
So when the phone rang, I was more than a little upset. I wasn’t in the mood for any more interruptions.
“Daring Detective,” I snapped into the receiver. “Can I help you?” What I really meant was Please leave me alone! Can’t you tell I’m busy?!
“I’d like to speak with Paige Turner, please.” The voice was smooth, composed, and female. I was certain I’d never heard it before.
“May I tell her who’s calling?” I asked. (In my line of work it pays to be cautious.)
“Yes, of course,” the woman said. “My name is Sabrina Stanhope. This is a personal call.”
Oh, really? Then how come I’ve never heard of you in my whole entire life?
I nabbed a cigarette out of the pack sitting on my desk, lit it, and inhaled deeply. “Mrs. Turner isn’t here right now,” I said, exhaling slowly. “May I take a message?” I really hate having to be the DD receptionist-except when I like it.
There was a long pause, and then a curt reply. “But you just said you wanted to tell her who was calling. How could you do that if she isn’t there?”
Smart cookie.
“I’m sorry, but Mrs. Turner just stepped out of the office. If you’ll leave your name and number and the reason for your call, I’ll make sure she calls you back.” (I like to think I’m a member of the smart cookie club myself.)
There was another long pause. “I already gave you my name. It’s Sabrina Stanhope.”
“And your phone number is…?”
“Never mind. I’ll call Mrs. Turner back at a more convenient time. When is she expected to return?” She sounded anxious now-as though my whereabouts really mattered to her.
“Well, I’m not sure, but I’ll-”
“Look, if you’ll just tell me when Mrs. Turner is expected, I’ll call her back at the appropriate-”
“Okay, okay!” I surrendered, mentally throwing both hands in the air. (My curiosity always gets the best of me. Every single time.) “This is Paige Turner,” I confessed-so breathless I was bug-eyed. “How can I help you?”
“You’re Paige Turner?” I could almost hear her smiling.
“Yes,” I said, with a defensive sniff.
“Are you quite sure?” At first I thought she had an English accent, but then I decided she was just putting on a high-class act.
“As sure as I am that you’re Sabrina Stanhope,” I said, puffing on my ciggie, ear suctioned to the receiver.
She laughed (rather nervously, I thought) and tossed me a flip “Touché.”
“Okay, now that we think we know each other’s names,” I said, “what’s next on the agenda? Are you going to tell me why you’re calling, or do we have to engage in a round of Twenty Questions?” I was playing it as tough and cool as I could- trying to make my white flag colorful.
“I called to invite you to lunch today, Mrs. Turner.” Her tone was challenging and apprehensive at the same time. The flag she was waving was red.
“Lunch?!” That was the last thing I expected her to say. I was thoroughly discombobulated, and-to make my composure even more difficult to maintain-I was hungry.
“Yes,” she politely replied. “I’d like you to join me for lunch at twelve thirty this afternoon, at my place on Gramercy Park. There’s a very important matter I need to discuss with you.”
The last time a woman needed to discuss an important matter with me, I almost got killed for my trouble. “You’ll have to do better than that,” I said, crushing my cigarette in the ashtray. “For me to give up my feast at Horn and Hardart and come all the way down to Gramercy Park to eat, you’ll have to tell me what you’re serving.”
She laughed again, but instead of nervous, she sounded relieved. “Poached salmon,” she said, “with onion soup, asparagus vinaigrette, and a freshly baked baguette.”
“Anything for dessert?”
“Chocolate mousse.”
My mouth was watering so much that my next words sailed out on the tide. “Sounds good,” I said, with a slurp that I dearly hoped was silent. “But I’m still not satisfied. You left something off the menu.”
“What do you mean?”
“The topic of the conversation. I want to know what the ‘very important matter’ is.”
She heaved a loud sigh. “That’s impossible. The subject is too sensitive and complicated to discuss over the phone.”
“Then can you at least give me a clue? I’ve got a lot of work on my plate today, and I can’t leave the office without good reason.”
“Oh, all right!” she said, annoyed. “It has to do with the death of a friend of mine. You may have read about it in the paper this morning. Her name was Virginia Pratt.”
I almost swallowed my tongue. I was so stunned-so close to speechlessness-I barely managed to ask for Sabrina Stanhope’s address and confirm that I’d be there at twelve thirty sharp.
I SPENT THE REST OF THE MORNING CLIPPING the newspapers, reading and rereading all four articles about Virginia Pratt (no photos or new information in the News or the Times), making Mr. Crockett’s restaurant reservation, filing stock shots, approving invoices, correcting all the grammatical mistakes in Mike’s latest story, and begging the hands of the office clock to move faster. I was itching to make my lunch hour getaway before Brandon Pomeroy came in… which was not an impossible dream, you should know. Pomeroy often shunned the office until later in the day, after his own lunch (his customary repast of olives, peanuts, and at least three very dry martinis) had been consumed.
But my booze-loving boss must not have been very thirsty that morning. He strolled into the office at eleven forty-five-a good fifteen minutes before my lunch hour was due to begin- and he was stone-cold sober.
My heart was sinking, but I managed to keep my sprightly tone afloat. “Good morning, Mr. Pomeroy,” I chirped, watching him remove his gray felt fedora and custom-tailored overcoat and carefully arrange them on the coat tree.
“Good morning,” he replied, but you could tell he didn’t mean it. Not the “good” part, anyway. There was a deep black frown on his pale, funereal face. “Are there any messages for me?”
“No, sir,” I said, wondering why he thought there would be. Pomeroy rarely received any calls at the office because (a) he was hardly ever there, and (b) he was so impersonal-and did so little actual work-that he seldom dealt directly with any of the magazine’s contributors or suppliers.
“Expecting an important phone call, sir?” I asked, thinking that might be the reason he came to work so early (and letting my naturally snoopy self come out to play).
“That’s none of your concern, Mrs. Turner,” he said, still scowling. “You’re required to write down every message I receive, whether I’m expecting it or not.” Holding his spine erect and his snotty nose in the air, Pomeroy strode deeper into the workroom and sat down at his desk. He took one of his precious Dunhill pipes out of the top drawer and filled it with Cuban tobacco (“the finest money can buy,” he liked to boast), then leaned back in his cushy leather chair.
“Bring me some coffee,” he said. “Black.”
I was shocked out of my seamed silk stockings. Pomeroy never (and I do mean never) drank the office coffee. He had declared it to be substandard (I believe the actual word he used was “putrid”), and he’d sworn a public oath that the distasteful stuff would never pass his lips. That didn’t bother me one bit, I admit-the less coffee consumed, the less I had to make and serve. Besides, I had always suspected that Pomeroy’s aversion had nothing to do with taste, and everything to do with caffeine (which diminishes the intoxicating effects of gin, don’t ya know).