"I can't believe it. Why, Mister Tribble was honest as the day is long!"

"Yeah—a chessman. I reckon you might believe so. But I think he's a crook. You know, Forrest, you got some good sides to you, but your main problem is, you trust everybody. You don't think there are people out there who are gonna screw you any chance they get. They take one look at you, an they say 'sucker.' An your big dumb ass don't know the difference. You treat everybody like they are your friend. It ain't that way in the world, Forrest. A lot of people ain't your friend. They are just lookin at you the way a banker looks at somebody comes in for a loan—How I'm gonna fleece this rube? That's the way it is, Forrest. That's the way it is."

Then Dan, he commenced to start coughin again, an finally he gone on to sleep. I got my head out of the icebox crate, an the sky have cleared an it is cold an still, an the stars are all shinin, an I am just about asleep when they is like a warm mist come above me an all of a sudden, there is Jenny, sort of smilin an lookin at me!

"Well, you sure did it this time, didn't you?"

"Yup, I reckon I did."

"You had it right in your hand, didn't you? And then you get so excited about the ceremony that you forget to release the pressure valve—and look what happens."

"I know."

"And what about little Forrest? How's he gonna take this?"

"I dunno."

"Well, I can imagine," Jenny says, "that he's gonna be real disappointed. After all, all that stuff was his idea in the first place."

"Yup."

"So don't you think you ought to tell him? After all, he was gonna come up there and spend Christmas with you, right?"

"It's what I was gonna do tomorrow. It ain't like I have had much time."

"Yeah, well, I think you better get it done."

I could tell she was sort of mad, an I wadn't feelin too good about things mysef.

"I guess I done made a fool of mysef again, huh?"

"Well, let me say this, you was a sight, runnin across those fields covered in pig shit, bein chased by that mob an all them hogs, too."

"Yup, I spose I was, but you know, I kinda figgered you might of been able to help me out there a little—You know what I mean?"

"Forrest," she says, "it wadn't my turn to watch after you."

An then the mist sort of dissolved an I was lookin at the sky again, an a big ole silver cloud sailed across the stars, an the last thing I remember was Wanda done give out a big ole grunt from Dan's icebox carton.

Next mornin, I got up early an found a pay phone an called Mrs. Curran's number. Little Forrest had already gone off to school, but I tole her what had happened. She seemed kinda confused by it all, an so I said I would call again that night.

When I get back to Lafayette Park, I seen Lieutenant Dan in some kinda argument with a man in a marine's uniform. I couldn't hear what they was sayin, but I figgered it was a argument because Dan was givin the man the finger an the man was givin the finger back. When I get up to our boxes, Dan sees me an says to the feller, "and if you don't like it, my friend Forrest, here, will whip you ass!"

The marine turn around an look at me, up an down, an all of a sudden he gets a sort of shit-eatin smile on his face, an I can see he has got picket teeth in front an he is a officer an is carryin a briefcase.

"I am Colonel Oliver North," he says to me, "and who are you, gonna whip my ass?"

"My name is Forrest Gump, an I don't know nothin about this ass-whippin bidness, but if Lieutenant Dan say to do it, that's good enough for me."

Colonel North sort of size me up, an then gets a look on his face kinda like a lightbulb went off inside his head. He is all spit-an-polish from shoes to hat, an on his uniform he is wearin about a dozen rows of ribbons.

"Gump? Say, you ain't the Gump won a Congressional Medal of Honor over at Vietnam?"

"That's him," says Dan. An Wanda, who is still inside her box, give out a big ole grunt.

"What the hell was that?" Colonel North asts. "That's Wanda," I say.

"You fellers got a girl in that carton?" says the colonel. "Wanda's a pig," I say.

"Yeah, I don't doubt it, hangin out with a couple of slackers like you. How come you against the war?"

"Cause it's easier to be against somethin that don't exist, you dummy," Dan answers.

Colonel North scratches his chin for a second, then nods. "Yeah, I can see your point about that, I guess. Say, listen, Gump, what's a guy like you who has won the Congressional Medal of Honor doin here actin like a hobo, anyway?"

I started to tell him about the pig farm an all, but I figgered it might sound strange, so I just said, "I got in a bidness venture that went sour."

"Why, you oughta have stayed in the army," the colonel says. "I mean, here you are a big war hero. You gotta have some sense."

An then the colonel, he gets this real odd look in his eyes, an squints off in the distance for a minute, toward the White House, an when he turns back, he says, "Look here, Gump, I might be able to use a guy like you. There is something I'm involved with in which your talents could be very useful. You got time to come over across the street an hear me out?"

I looked at Dan, but he just nodded, an so the colonel an me, that's what we did.

Chapter Six

First thing Colonel North says to me when we out of earshot of Dan is "Your clothes are awful; we gotta get you cleaned up." An so he took me over to some army fort an tole them to fit me with a brand-new private's uniform, an then he took me to where I could get a bath an to a barbershop for a haircut an a shave. When we was through, I was spic-an-span an feelin like I was back in the army or somethin—which was weird.

"Well, Gump, that is an improvement if I do say so," the colonel says. "Now, look here, I want your ass spit-an-polish from now on in. If it's necessary, I want you to even spit-shine your asshole—you got that?"

"Right, Colonel," I say.

"And now," he says, "I am gonna confer on you the title of 'special assistant for covert operations.' But you ain't to tell anybody anything about any of this—no matter what. Right?"

"Right, Colonel," I says.

"Listen, Gump," says Colonel North when we get inside the White House, "we are going to see the President of the United States, so I want you to be on your best behavior—you got that straight?"

"I already seen him," I says.

"When? On TV or something?"

"Right here—about eight or ten years ago."

"Yeah, well, they got a new president now. You ain't met this one yet—An he don't hear too good, either, so you got to speak up if he says something to you. An for that matter," Colonel North adds, "he don't listen too well, either."

We gone on into the little round room where the President was, an sure enough, it was not neither of the ole presidents I had met, but a new one this time. He was a older, kindly gentleman with little rosy cheeks an look like he might of been a cowboy at some point, or maybe a movie actor.

"Well, Mr. Gump, I am proud to make your acquaintance," the President says. "Colonel North, here, tells me you won the Congressional Medal of Honor."

"Yessir," I says.

"And what did you do to get it?"

"I runned."

"Beg your pardon?" says the President.

"He said he ran, sir," Colonel North interrupted, "but he didn't tell you he ran carryin five or six of his wounded buddies out of the line of fire."

"Well, Colonel, there you go again," say the President, "putting words in people's mouths."

"Sorry, sir," says the colonel. "I was just trying to clarify matters. Put them in a proper perspective."

"You leave that to me," the President say. "That is my job, not yours—By the way, Colonel North, have we met before?"