“Well,” said Jack.

“Please,” said Wallah.

And Jack held the pocket to his face. And it did feel rather nice.

“You don’t need her,” whispered Wallah into Jack’s ear. “I calculate that although in the short term she might facilitate some success, in the long term disaster awaits.”

“You don’t foresee a lasting relationship, then?”

“It looks unfavourable in percentage terms.”

“So I should dump her? Is that what you’re saying? You’re not being a little biased, are you?”

“Biased?” whispered Wallah. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yes you do,” said Jack, “and our relationship, our special relationship will only continue if you are totally honest with me.”

“I am dedicated to your success,” said Wallah. “In fact, our special relationship depends directly upon it.”

“Well, I’m asking for your help,” said Jack. “I need all the help I can get. Which is not to say that I do not value yours above all others’, of course.”

“I wonder,” said Wallah, “whether a relationship actually exists anywhere that is based upon pure truth, rather than one partner telling the other partner what they think the other partner wants to hear, rather than the pure truth that that partner should hear from someone he or she trusts.”

With his free hand Jack scratched at his head. “I’m not quite certain what all of that means,” he said, “but I’m sure it’s most profound. So, can you help me out here? Can you tell me what I should do next?”

“Not directly,” said Wallah. “I can calculate odds. And I can tell you this: if you do not bring the malcontents to justice within one week, not a single soul in Toy City will remain alive.”

“One week?” said Jack.

“According to my calculations the evil is growing exponentially. It’s working on a mathematical principle. You have one week at the most.”

“So what must I do?”

“Corporate enterprises such as this Golden Chicken organisation function upon a pyramidal principle. At the base you have the most folk, those in customer facilitation, the counter-service folk, the factory workers, et cetera. Next level up, lower management, supervisors – far fewer. Next level, middle management, then up and up, executive management, board of directors, chief executive officer. And he is not the pinnacle of the pyramid. Above him is a single figure. You must move up the chain of command, seek out this individual – they will be the brains behind it all.”

“That’s rather obvious, surely,” said Jack.

“Obvious perhaps, but it’s how you do it that counts. How you penetrate the chain of command, find your way to the top.”

“And how do I do that?” said Jack.

“I calculate your chances of doing so in your present situation as zero,” said Wallah. “You will have to take employment with the Golden Chicken Consortium. Infiltrate, as it were.”

“Is there time for that?” Jack asked.

“Yes,” said Wallah. “There is, just. I am susceptible to vibrations, Jack. I pick them up, assimilate them. You are now in a land that you do not understand, and I now do understand it. Within three days, if you work hard, persevere and keep your eyes and ears open, you will be able to rise up the pyramid sufficiently to discover who hides upon the pinnacle.”

“I’m hardly likely to get promoted up the management chain in three days,” said Jack.

“Oh yes you can,” said Wallah. “You are now in a land called America where many things are possible. You will realise what is known as ‘The American Dream’.”

“All right,” said Jack. “I’ll do my best.”

“You will have to do better than that.”

“My best is all I have. And I’ll have you to help me, which I appreciate, believe me.”

“Sadly, that is not going to be the case. I calculate that I will only be able to help you for another twelve hours at the most.”

“Why?” asked Jack.

“Because I am dying,” said Wallah.

“What?” and Jack held Wallah out before him. “What are you saying to me?”

“I’m saying that I’m dying. Me and my kind cannot survive here in this world. This world will kill us.”

“Why are you saying this? How do you know this?”

“Believe the evidence of your own eyes,” said Wallah. “You were here no time at all before your wristwatch ceased to work, and less than eight hours after that so did your weapons.”

“Yes,” said Jack. “I suspected that it was something like that when I tested the grenade in the alleyway.”

“I know,” said Wallah. “The simple things die first, then the more complex. I have perhaps another day, maybe a little more. My calculations cannot be entirely precise.”

“Then I’ll take you back right now,” said Jack, “pop you through The Second Big O onto the other side.”

“And without my help you will fail and all Toy City will die.”

“But I can’t let you die.”

“It’s a percentage thing,” said Wallah. “I will die so many will live.”

“No,” said Jack. “I can’t have that.”

“Then you will have to do more than your best.”

“Yes I will,” said Jack. “I promise I will.” And then Jack said, “Oh no!”

“I know what you’re thinking,” said Wallah, “and yes, it’s true.”

“Eddie,” said Jack. “You mean –”

“Three days at most,” said Wallah. “I’m sorry.”

“Then I’m taking you both back.”

“And if you do you’ll doom all of Toy City. You can’t do this on your own, even with the help of Dorothy. You need us to succeed.”

“But I can’t risk Eddie’s life.”

“He wouldn’t hear of you trying to save him at the expense of all the others. You know Eddie well enough – do you think that he would?”

“No,” said Jack. “I do not. Eddie is –”

“Noble,” said Wallah, “is the word you’re looking for.”

“But I must tell him.”

“I think that’s only fair. And by my calculations it is something that you should do now. And fast.”

“Fast?” said Jack.

“Very fast,” said Wallah. “Trust me.”

“I do.”

And Jack slipped Wallah back inside his trenchcoat and then Jack left that toilet at the hurry-up.

And Jack returned to Dorothy and Eddie.

Or at least.

“Dorothy?” asked Jack. “Where is Eddie?”

Dorothy looked up at Jack and said, “Why are you asking me that?”

“Because I left him here with you,” said Jack, “but he’s not with you now.”

“No,” said Dorothy. “That’s not what you did. You went off to the toilet and then you returned. And I commented on how impressed I was that you had managed to clean up your trenchcoat in such a short time. Which rather confuses me now, as it is all dirty again. But then you said that you wanted a quiet word for a moment outside with Eddie and then the two of you left. And now you’ve come out of the toilet again – how did you do that?”

Jack’s jaw did a terrible dropping, and then he gave vent to a terrible scream.

16

Jack left the Golden Chicken Diner at the hurry-up.

He sprinted through the open doors and out into the sunlit street beyond. The sunlit Californian street that was Hollywood Boulevard.

Jack was a very desperate lad. He sprinted here and sprinted there in desperation, up this way and down that way, but all to no avail. Passers-by did passings-by, but none paid Jack any heed.

Jack took now to shouting at and accosting passers-by.

“Have you seen him?” Jack shouted at a large man in a larger suit of orange plaid. “Small bear, about this size? Being led along by me, but it wasn’t me?” The large man thrust past Jack, continued on his way.

Jack started on another. Dorothy’s hands caught Jack by the shoulders. “Stop it, Jack,” said Dorothy. “You’ll get yourself arrested.”

“But I have to find him, time is running out.”

“He could be anywhere now – he was probably taken in a car.”

“A car?” and Jack made fists. “I need a car. Do you have one?”