The kitchen door was pushed open just as she stood up. “Well, who’s this?” The voice was raspy, as though the vocal cords had been strained. The man was in his mid-fifties. His eyes were bloodshot and faded with the bleary expression of the heavy drinker. He was painfully thin, so that the waist of his pants settled somewhere around his hips.
He stared at Jenny, then his eyes narrowed thoughtfully. “You gotta be the new Mrs. Krueger I’ve been hearing about.”
“Yes, I am.”
“I’m Josh Brothers, Joe’s uncle.”
The electrician who had been responsible for the accident. Jenny sensed immediately that Erich would be furious if he heard about this meeting.
“I can see why Erich picked you,” Josh said heavily. He turned to his sister. “Swear it was Caroline, wouldn’t you, Maude?” Without waiting for an answer he asked Jenny, “Heard all about the accident, I suppose?”
“Yes, I did.”
“The Krueger version. Not mine.” Clearly Josh Brothers was about to tell an often-repeated story. Jenny got the smell of whiskey from his breath. His voice took on a reciting quality. “In spite of the fact they were divorcing, John was crazy about Caroline…”
“Divorcing!” Jenny interrupted. “Erich’s father and mother divorcing!”
The bleary eyes became crafty. “Oh, Erich didn’t tell you that? He likes to pretend it didn’t happen. Lots of gossip here, let me tell you, when Caroline didn’t even try to get custody of her only child. Anyhow the day of the accident I was working in the dairy barn and Caroline and Erich came in. She was leaving for good that afternoon. It was his birthday and he was holding his new hockey stick and crying his eyes out. She waved me away; that’s why I hung the lamp over the nail. I heard Caroline say, ‘Just like this little calf has to be weaned away from its mother…’ Then I pulled the door closed behind me so they could say good-bye to each other and a minute later Erich began screaming. Luke Garrett pounded on her chest and did that mouth-to-mouth breathing, but we all knew it was no good. When she slipped and fell into the stock tank, she grabbed the cord and pulled the lamp in with her. That voltage went right through her… She never had no chance.”
“Josh, keep quiet,” Maude said sharply.
Jenny stared at Josh. Why had Erich never told her that his parents were divorcing, that Caroline was leaving him and his father? And to have witnessed that ghastly accident! No wonder Erich was so terribly insecure now, so afraid of losing her.
Deep in thought, she collected the girls and murmured goodbyes.
As they walked back home, Joe spoke timidly to Jenny. “Mr. Krueger wouldn’t be pleased to hear my mom talked so much and that you met my uncle.”
“I’m not going to discuss it, Joe, I promise,” she reassured him.
The country road back to Krueger Farm was peaceful in the late morning. Beth and Tina ran ahead of them, happily scooping up loose snow. Jenny felt depressed and frightened. She thought of the countless times Erich had talked about Caroline. Never once had he even hinted about the fact that she had been planning to leave him.
If only I had a friend here, Jenny thought, someone I could talk to. She remembered how she and Nana had been able to talk through any problem that came up in their lives, how she and Fran would have coffee after the girls were in bed and exchange confidences.
“Mrs. Krueger,” Joe said softly, “you look as though you feel real bad. I hope my uncle didn’t upset you. I know Mom talks kind of mean about the Kruegers but please don’t take offense.”
“I won’t,” Jenny promised. “But, Joe, will you please do one thing for me?”
“Anything.”
“For God sake when Mr. Krueger isn’t around, call me Jenny. I’m beginning to forget my own name around here.”
“I call you Jenny whenever I think about you.”
“Terrific,” Jenny laughed, feeling better, then glanced at Joe. The open worship on his face was unmistakable.
Oh, dear God, she thought, if he ever looks at me like that in front of Erich there’ll be hell to pay.
15
As they neared the big house Jenny thought she saw someone watching them from the window of the farm office. Erich often stopped there on his way back from the cabin.
She hurried the girls into the house and began preparing grilled cheese sandwiches and hot cocoa. Tina and Beth perched at the table, expectantly watching the toaster oven as the bubbling smell of melting cheese filled the kitchen.
What could have made Caroline so desperately unhappy that she would leave Erich? How much resentment was mixed in with Erich’s love for her? Jenny tried to visualize any circumstance under which she’d leave Beth and Tina. There was none.
The children were tired from the long walk and fell asleep as soon as she put them in for their nap. She watched as their eyes drooped and closed. She was reluctant to leave the room. She sat on the window seat for a moment, realizing she felt lightheaded. Why?
Finally she went downstairs, pulled on a jacket and walked over to the office. Clyde was working at the big desk. Trying to sound casual, she remarked, “Erich hasn’t come in yet for lunch. I thought he might have been delayed over here.”
Clyde looked puzzled. “He just stopped in for a couple of minutes on his way back from getting supplies. He told me you knew he’s planning to stay up at the cabin and paint.”
Wordlessly Jenny turned to leave. Then her eye spotted the incoming mail basket. “Oh, Clyde, if I get any mail while Erich is at the cabin, will you be sure that someone brings it over to me?”
“Sure will. Usually I just give anything for you to Erich.”
Anything for you… In the month she’d been here, even though she’d written to Fran and Mr. Hartley, she hadn’t received a single piece of mail. “I’m afraid he forgot about it.” She could hear the strain in her voice. “How much has come in?”
“A letter last week, a couple of postcards. I don’t know.”
“I see.” Jenny looked at the telephone. “How about phone calls?”
“Someone from church phoned last week about a meeting. And the week before you got a call from New York. You mean Erich didn’t give you those messages?”
“He was so concerned with getting ready for the trip,” Jenny murmured. “Thanks, Clyde.”
Slowly she started back to the house. The sky was overcast now. Snow was beginning to fall in stinging, slapping gusts. The ground that had begun to thaw had hardened again. The temperature was dropping swiftly.
I won’t share you,… Jenny. Erich had meant that literally. Who had phoned from New York? Kevin to say he was coming to Minnesota? If so, why didn’t Erich warn her?
Who had written? Mr. Hartley? Fran?
I can’t let this happen, Jenny thought. I’ve got to do something.
“Jenny!” Mark Garrett was hurrying from the barn. With his long strides he covered the distance between them in seconds. His sandy hair was rumpled. He was smiling but his eyes were serious. “Haven’t had a chance to say hello for a while. How’s everything?”
How much did he suspect? Could she discuss Erich with him? No, that wouldn’t be fair to Erich. But there was one thing she could do.
She tried to make her smile seem natural. “I’m fine,” she replied. “And you’re just the person I wanted to see. Remember we talked about having you and your friend-is it Emily?-for dinner?”
“Yes.”
“Let’s make it March eighth. That’s Erich’s birthday. I want to have a little party for him.”
Mark frowned. “Jenny, I have to warn you. Erich still finds his birthday a pretty rough day.”
“I know,” Jenny said. She looked up at Mark, aware of his tallness. “Mark, that was twenty-five years ago. Isn’t it about time that Erich got over losing his mother?”
Mark seemed to be choosing his words. “Go easy, Jenny,” he suggested. “It takes time to wean someone like Erich off imprinted reactions.” He smiled. “But I must say it shouldn’t take him very long to start to appreciate what he has now.”