Dismayed, Jenny thought how these last days had dragged. She tried to make her voice sound casual. “If it’s necessary, of course.”

When she came back to the library from putting the girls to bed, Erich’s eyes were filled with tears.

“Erich, what is it?”

Hastily he brushed his eyes with the back of his hand. “Forgive me, Jenny. It’s just I was so depressed. I missed you so much. And Mother’s anniversary is next week. You can’t know how hard a time that always is for me. Every year it’s still as though it’s just happened. When Joe told me his uncle is around, it was like a punch in the stomach. I felt so lousy. Then the car turned in from the road and the house was lighted. I was so afraid it would be dark and empty; and I opened the door and you were there, so beautiful, so glad to see me. I was so afraid that maybe while I was away somehow I’d lost you.”

Jenny slipped to her knees. She smoothed the hair back from his forehead.

“Glad to see you. You can’t guess!”

His lips silenced her.

When they went up to bed, Jenny reached for one of her new nightgowns then stopped. Reluctantly she opened the dresser drawer that held the aqua gown. The bosom of the gown felt too small. Well, maybe that’s one solution, she thought. I’ll outgrow the damn thing.

Later just before she fell asleep she realized what it was that had been teasing her subconscious. The only times Erich made love to her was when she was wearing this gown.

14

She heard Erich walking around the bedroom before dawn. “Are you going to the cabin?” she murmured, trying to pull herself from sleep.

“Yes, darling.” His whisper was barely audible.

“Will you be back for lunch?” As she started to wake up she remembered that he had talked about staying at the cabin.

“I’m not sure.” The door closed behind him.

She and the girls took their usual walk after breakfast. The ponies had replaced the chickens as first attraction for Beth and Tina. They ran ahead of her now. “Hold it, you two,” she called. “Make sure Baron is locked up.”

Joe was already in the stable. “Good morning, Mrs. Krueger.” His round face broke into a smile. The soft, sandy hair spilled out from under his cap. “Hello, girls.”

The ponies were immaculate. Their thick manes and tails were brushed and shining. “Just groomed them for you,” Joe said. “Did you bring some sugar with you?”

He held the girls up to feed the sugar. “Now how about sitting on their backs for a couple of minutes?”

“Joe, I’m afraid not,” Jenny said. “Mr. Krueger didn’t approve of putting the girls on the ponies.”

“I want to sit on Tinker Bell’s back,” Tina said.

“Daddy will let us,” Beth said positively. “Mommy, you’re mean.”

“Beth!”

“Mean Mommy,” Tina said. Her lip trembled.

“Don’t cry, Tina,” Beth said. She looked up at Jenny. “Mommy, please.”

Joe was looking at her too.

“Well…” Jenny wavered, then thought of Erich’s face when he said that Joe took too much on himself. She could not have Erich accuse her of deliberately ignoring his wishes.

“Tomorrow,” she said positively. “I’ll talk to Daddy. Now let’s go see the chickens.”

“I want to ride my pony,” Tina cried. Her small hand slapped Jenny’s leg. “You’re a bad mommy.”

Jenny reached down. In a reflex action she swatted Tina’s bottom. “And you’re a very fresh little girl.”

Tina ran from the barn, crying. Beth was right behind her.

Jenny hurried after the girls. They were holding hands, walking toward the barn. As she caught up with them she heard Beth say soothingly, “Don’t be sad, Tina. We’ll tell Daddy on Mommy.”

Joe was at her side. “Mrs. Krueger.”

“Yes, Joe.” Jenny turned her face from him. She did not want him to see the tears that were swimming in her eyes. In her bones she knew that when they asked him, Erich would give permission to the girls to sit on the ponies in the stable.

“Mrs. Krueger, I was wondering. We have a new puppy at our place. We’re just down the road about half a mile. Maybe the girls would like to see Randy. It might take their minds off the ponies.”

“Joe, that would be nice.” Jenny caught up with the children. She crouched in front of Tina. “I’m sorry I spanked you, Tinker Bell. I want to ride Fire Maid just as much as you want to ride your pony, but we have to wait till Daddy says okay. Now Joe wants to take us to see his puppy. Want to go?”

They walked together, Joe pointing out the first signs of the approaching spring. “See how the snow is going. In a couple of weeks the ground will be real muddy. That’s because all the frost will be coming out of it. Then the grass starts to grow. Your dad wants me to build a ring for you to ride in.”

Joe’s mother was home; his father had died five years ago. She was a heavyset woman in her late fifties with a practical, no-nonsense approach. She invited them in. The small house was comfortably shabby. Souvenir knickknacks covered the tables. The walls were strewn with family pictures indiscriminately hung.

“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Krueger. My Joe talks about you all the time. No wonder he says you’re pretty. You sure are. And oh, my land, how you look like Caroline! I’m Maude Ekers. You call me Maude.”

“Where’s Joe’s dog?” Tina asked.

“Come on in the kitchen,” Maude told them.

They followed her eagerly. The puppy looked to be a combination of German shepherd and retriever. Awkwardly it struggled up on ungainly legs. “We found it on the road,” Joe explained. “Somebody must have pushed it out of a car. If I hadn’t come along it probably would have frozen to death.”

Maude shook her head. “He’s always bringing home stray animals. My Joe has the kindest heart I ever come across. Never was one for schoolwork, but let me tell you, he’s magic with animals. You shoulda seen his last dog. He was a beauty. Smart as a whip too.”

“What happened to him?” Jenny asked.

“We don’t know. We tried to keep him fenced in but sometimes he’d get away. He used to want to trail after Joe to your farm. Mr. Krueger didn’t like it.”

“I don’t blame Mr. Krueger,” Joe said hastily. “He had a purebred bitch and he didn’t want Tarpy to get near her. But one day Tarpy did follow me and was on Juna. Mr. Krueger was real mad.”

“Where’s Juna now?” Jenny asked.

“Mr. Krueger got rid of her. Said she wouldn’t be any use if she carried a litter from a mongrel.”

“What happened to Tarpy?”

“We don’t know,” Maude said. “He got out again one day and never came back. I’ve got my suspicions,” she hinted darkly.

“Maw,” Joe said hastily.

“Erich Krueger threatened to shoot that dog,” she continued simply. “If Tarpy ruined his expensive bitch I don’t much blame him for getting sore. But least he coulda told you. Joe hunted high and low for that dog,” she told Jenny. “I thought he’d get sick.”

Tina and Beth squatted on the floor beside Randy. Tina’s face was rapturous. “Mommy, can we have a dog, please?”

“We’ll ask Daddy,” she promised.

The children played with the puppy while she had coffee with Maude. The woman immediately began interrogating her. How did she like the Krueger home? Pretty fancy, wasn’t it? Must be tough to come out from New York City to a farm. Jenny replied that she was sure she’d be happy.

“Caroline said that too,” Maude hinted darkly. “But the Krueger men aren’t very sociable. Kind of makes it hard on their wives. Everybody around here thought the world of Caroline. And they respected John Krueger. Same as they do Erich. But the Kruegers aren’t warm even with their own. And they’re not forgiving people. When they get angry, they stay angry.”

Jenny knew Maude was referring to her brother’s role in Caroline’s accident. Quickly she finished her coffee. “We’d better get back.”