42

Olympos and Ilium

My impulse is to QT away from Olympos the second I see Thetis, Aphrodite, and my Muse enter the Great Hall, but I remember that Aphrodite must have the power she gave me of seeing and tracking pertubations in the quantum continuum. Any hasty quantum exit now may attract her attention. Besides, my business here is not quite finished.

Sliding sideways, putting tall gods and goddesses between me and the women entering, I tiptoe behind a broad column and then back out of the Great Hall. I can hear Ares’ angry shouts, still demanding to know what’s been happening on the Ilium battlefield in his absence, and then I hear Aphrodite say, “Lord Zeus, Father, still recovering from my terrible wounds as I am, I have asked to leave the healing vats and come here because it has been brought to my attention that there is a mortal man loose who has stolen a QT medallion and the Helmet of Death forged for invisibility by Lord Hades here himself. I fear that this mortal is doing great harm even as we speak.”

The crowd of gods bursts into an uproar of shouted questions and babble.

So much for any advantage I might have had. Still shielded by the Helmet’s field, I run down a long corridor, turn left at the first junction, swing right down another corridor. I have no idea where I’m headed, knowing that my only hope is to stumble onto Hera. Sliding to a stop in another junction, hearing the roar increase from the Great Hall, I close my eyes and pray—and not to these swinish gods. It’s the first time I’ve prayed since I was nine years old and my mother had cancer.

I open my eyes and see Hera crossing a junction of corridors a hundred yards to my left.

My sandals make slapping noises that actually echo in the long marble halls. Tall golden tripods throw flame-light on the walls and ceilings. I don’t care about making noise now—I have to catch up to her. More roars echo down the hallways from the agitated assembly in the Great Hall. I wonder for an instant how Aphrodite will hide her complicity in arming me and sending me out to spy on and kill Athena, but then realize that the Goddess of Love is a consummate liar. I’ll be dead before I get a chance to tell anyone the truth of the matter. Aphrodite will be the hero who warned the other gods of my treachery.

Walking quickly, Hera suddenly stops and looks over her shoulder. I’d paused anyway and now I teeter on tiptoe, trying not to give away my position. Zeus’s wife scowls, looks both ways, and slides her hand across a twenty-foot-high metal door. The metal hums, internal locks click open, and the door swings inward. I have to scurry to slide into the room before Hera gestures the door closed behind her. An even greater roar from the Great Hall covers the sound of my sandals on stone. Hera pulls a smooth gray weapon—rather like a seashell with deadly black apertures—from the folds of her robe.

The little robot and the crab-shell are the only other things in the room. The robot backs away from Hera, obviously expecting what is to come next, and sets an oddly human-looking hand on the huge, crack-shelled figure, and for the first time I realize that the other object must also be a robot. Whatever these machines are, they aren’t part of Olympos—I’m convinced of that.

“My name is Hera,” says the goddess, “and I’ve come to put you foolish, foolish moravecs out of your misery once and for all. I’ve never liked your kind.”

I’d been pausing before she spoke. This is, after all, Hera, wife and sister to Zeus, queen of the gods and the most powerful of all of the goddesses with the possible exception of Athena. Perhaps it was the “your kind” part of “I’ve never liked your kind.” I was born into the middle of the Twentieth Century, lived into the Twenty-first Century, and I’ve heard that sort of phrase before—too many times before.

Whatever the final reason, I aim my baton and taser the arrogant bitch.

I wasn’t sure the 50,000 volts would work on a goddess, but it does. Hera spasms, starts to fall, and triggers the ovoid in her hands, blasting the glowing ceiling panels that illuminate the room. It goes absolutely dark.

I retract the taser electrode and thumb another charge ready, but it’s pitch-black in the windowless room and I can’t see a thing. I step forward and almost trip over Hera’s body. She seems to be unconscious, but still twitching on the floor. Suddenly two beams of light shaft across the room. I pull the Hades Helmet cowl off and see myself in the twin beams.

“Get that light out of my eyes,” I say to the little robot. The lights seem to be coming from his chest. The beams shift.

“Are you human?” asks the robot. It takes me a second to realize that he’s spoken in English.

“Yes,” I say. My own language sounds strange in my mouth. “What are you?”

“We’re both moravecs,” says the little form, moving closer, the twin beams shifting to Hera. Her eyelids are already fluttering. I stoop, pick up the gray weapon, and slide it into my tunic pocket.

“My name is Mahnmut,” says the robot. His dark head doesn’t even come up to my chest. I don’t see any eyes set in the metallic, plastic-looking face, but there are dark bands where the eyes might be, and I have the sense he’s staring at me. “My friend is Orphu of Io,” he adds. The robot’s voice is soft, only vaguely male, and not metallic or robot-sounding in the least. It . . . he . . . gestures toward the cracked shell that takes up fifteen or more feet of space across the room.

“Is . . . Orphu . . . alive?” I ask.

“Yes, but he has no eyes or manipulators right now,” says the little robot. “But I’m conveying what we say to Orphu via radio and he says that it is a pleasure making your acquaintance. He says that if he still had eyes, you would be the first human being he has ever laid eyes on.”

“Orphu of Io,” I repeat. “Isn’t there a moon of Saturn named Io?”

“Jupiter actually,” says the Mahnmut machine.

“Well, it’s nice meeting you,” I say, “but we have to get out of here right now and chat later. This cow is waking up. Someone’ll be looking for her in a minute or two. The gods are pretty upset right now.”

“Cow,” repeats the robot. He is looking down at Hera. “How droll.” The robot shifts his twin searchlight beams to the door. “The barn door appears to have locked behind the cow. Do you have some means of unlocking or blowing the door off its hinges?”

“No,” I say. “But we don’t have to go through the door to get out of here. Give me your hand . . . paw . . . whatever it is.”

The robot hesitates. “Are you planning to quantum teleport us out of here by any chance?”

“You know about QT?”

The little figure shifts the beams back to the inert crabshell that looms taller than my head. “Can you take both of us with you?”

It’s my turn to hesitate. “I don’t know. I suspect not. That much mass . . .” Hera is stirring and moaning at our feet—well, at my feet and at this Mahnmut’s vaguely footish-looking peds. “Give me your hand,” I say again. “I’ll QT you to safety, off Olympos, and I’ll come back for your friend.”

The little robot takes another step away. “I have to know that Orphu can be saved before I go.”

There are voices booming in the hall. Are they searching for me already? That’s likely the case. Has Aphrodite shared her seeing-through-the-Hades-Helmet technology, or are they just fanning out and searching the space as though they were hunting for an invisible man? Hera moans and turns on her side. Her eyelids are still fluttering, but she’s coming to.

“Fuck it,” I say. I tear off my cape and remove the levitation harness that’s part of my armor. “Give me some light here, please.” Should one say please to a robot? Of course, this Mahnmut didn’t say he was a robot, but a moravec. Whatever that is.

The first belt of the harness is far too short to fit around the big crabshell, but I link all three sections of the harness together, wrapping the buckles on each end to cracks in the shell. This poor Orphu bugger looks as if terrorists have been using him for target practice for years. There are craters within craters on his vaguely metallic-looking carapace.