做俯卧撑 zuò fǔwòchēng (dzwuh foo wuh chung)

Literally “do push-ups” and a euphemism for a lame excuse or feelings of apathy. Stems from a June 2008 incident when the drowned body of a fifteen-year-old girl was found in Guizhou Province. The “push-up” reference comes from the provincial government’s official statement about what happened, which in addition to not being believed by most netizens, included the bizarrely specific detail that one of the last people to see the girl alive, a friend of her boyfriend, started doing push-ups near her on a bridge and that “on the third one” she cried out and then jumped. Netizens latched on to the detail, and sarcastic allusions to doing push-ups have flooded the Internet ever since. It generally means “it’s none of my business,” with a cynical edge that points to the futility of caring about anything when you are powerless to change things, but is sometimes used more lightheartedly to suggest a feeble excuse. “What were you doing in a sex chat room anyway?” “Uh… I was just doing push-ups.”

节约点, 喝茅台 jiéyuē diǎn, hē Máotái (jyih yreh dyinn, huh maow tie)

This catchphrase, which means “economize: drink Moutai,” comes from a report about a government official in Sichuan Province who beat up a shopkeeper for charging him too much for a bottle of Moutai (a high-end brand of Chinese liquor). It was explained that “Director Cao wanted to economize, because money is tight at the personnel bureau and he still owes money for house repairs.” The irony of this statement was not lost on Chinese netizens, and this quickly became the newest Internet meme, as Moutai is strongly associated with government corruption (no shady deal is sealed without a booze-soaked dinner involving copious amounts of this expensive liquor).

恶搞 ègǎo (uh gow)

An umbrella term for China ’s Internet parody culture (including online videos and Photoshop images spoofing current events). Literally “evil doings” or “restless work.” It comes from the Japanese word kuso, which spread first to Taiwan and then throughout greater China. Kuso means “shit” and also “poor quality” and described a Japanese fad for appreciating shitty computer games (similar to when we call a movie “so bad it’s good”). Since these terrible computer games were often unintentionally funny, in Taiwan the meaning eventually shifted to include anything ridiculous or funny.

网友 wǎngyǒu (wahng yo)

Internet friend(s). Making friends via the Internet is much, much more common in China than in the West. Westerners chatting online in China are often startled by the large number of messages they receive from Chinese strangers who are just searching for new friends to chat with. Some of these Internet friends are simply people to chat with while idling away the hours at work, some meet up in person, and some start relationships. Some Chinese even meet people by tex ting random phone numbers in the hopes of happening upon someone friendly.

网瘾 wǎngyǐn (wahng een)

Internet addiction. In 2008 China became the first country in the world to officially recognize this as a clinical disorder, similar to alcoholism and compulsive gambling, after several well-publicized cases in which young people died after spending days or weeks glued to the computer screen in Internet cafés. The country has several officially licensed Internet addiction clinics and has also seen a spate of unlicensed, hidden Internet cafés where kids banned from the Internet by their parents secretly go to play games.

Emoticons and expressions

颜文字 yán wénzì (yen when dz)

Emoticon. Literally “face character.”

凸

In normal written Chinese, this is the character 凸 tū (too), meaning “convex.” It is frequently used on the Internet as an emoticon, however, because it looks like a hand giving the middle finger.

Orz

Meant to look like a person kneeling on the ground, on hands and knees, with head bowed-the O is the person’s head, r is the arm and torso, and z is the bent leg. Used to express shock, hopelessness, frustration, despondence, or, more positively, respect or awe-basically any emotion that might be suggested by a kneeling figure.

A few variations (among many) include:

szQ (Orz kneeling in the opposite direction and licking the floor)

Oroz (Orz with a fat stomach)

囧

An emoticon indicating sadness, frustration, shock, or amusement. The character 囧 jiǒng (jyohng-the o sound is long), which dates back to ancient times, originally meant “bright” but has taken on this new meaning because it looks like a sad face (or a shocked or amused face, depending on your interpretation). “Jiǒng culture” has taken off as a full-fledged fad that has spilled over into real life-the character can even be found on T-shirts, bags, and other accessories.

A few variations (of many) include:

商 (jiǒng wearing a bamboo hat) d 囧 b (jiǒng with a thumbs-up on either side of its face, from a Pepsi marketing campaign called “Love China”)

囧rz (Orz combined with jiǒng, so that the kneeling person has a jiǒng face)

槑 meí (may)

Stupefied, shocked. This obscure character dates back to ancient times and means “plum.” It is made of two characters for 呆 dāi (die) next to each other, and since 呆 alone can mean something like “dumb” or “astounded” or “foolish,” having two next to each other doubles the degree.

雷 leí (lay)

Literally “thunder.” Used to indicate shock or surprise or outrage (or any emotion that might be represented by the image of someone being thunderstruck). Moreover, on both the Internet and in real life 雷人 léirén (lay ren), literally “thunder person,” has come to mean “outrageous” or “shocking” or “absurd.” One especially common expression is 太雷人了 tài léirén le (tie lay ren luh), meaning “too outrageous” or “that’s so stupid” or “that’s insane.”

汗 hàn (hahn)

Means “sweat” and is used, usually in reply, to indicate feeling embarrassed or dumbfounded (that is, an emotion that makes you sweat).

泪 lèi (lay)

Means “tear” or “teardrop” and used online to express sadness or crying.

晕 yūn (een)

Means “dizzy” or “faint” and is often used to express surprise, shock, amusement, or disgust; that is, emotions that might make you feel faint.

我倒 wǒ dǎo (wuh daow)

Literally, “I fall over.” Used the same way as yūn (above).

VoV

Represents a person holding up two peace signs on either side of his or her face.

闪

The character 闪 shǎn (shahn) means “flash” and is used in online chatting to mean “leaving,” as when you leave a chat room-you might say 我闪了 wǒ shǎn le (wuh shahn luh), “I’m leaving”-or “avoid doing something.”