I didn’t really understand Yamazaki’s anger, but becoming furious allowed him to put off thinking about these problems. He acted as though he would simply not commit to anything, even if everything caved in around him. I decided to follow his example and just avoid reality for the time being.

Speaking of avoiding reality, there was still the issue of the erotic game we’d been planning. We were trying to push forward, even now, at a time when our project was almost utterly meaningless.

Truthfully, I should escape from my hikikomori life as quickly as possible and focus on trying to get a legitimate job; but for some reason, I put on a smile and told Yamazaki, “I’d like you to just leave me alone about the Lolita stuff, okay?”

“Sure. We can work with your tastes, Satou. I honestly thought we would be arrested at our little elementary school picture-taking event the other day.”

I don’t care about anything like that; I have to find a job now or I’m finished! I wanted to scream, but once again, I smiled and went along With him. “I’ll write the scenarios today.”

“I’m counting on you. The quality of the game all depends on your scenarios, Satou.”

“I know. I’ll do my best when writing them. I’ll put all my energy into making this erotic game!”

Yeah, this is the peak. Bravo! Or rather, that’s awful!

Nothing is better suited for escaping from reality than making an erotic game. After all, the genre itself aspires toward limitless escapism.

Yamazaki, seated at his two huge computer towers, started another speech. “That’s right. Escapism is the very essence of the erotic game. As creators, we have to offer the player an enjoyable escape from reality. The real world is overflowing with painful things: girls who make asses out of guys like us, girls who make fun of guys like us, that bitch who cheated on me with the manager of the convenience store, the community college student who toyed with my adolescence… all those painful things make this world a difficult place.”

The second half of his speech had described pretty concrete situations specific only to him, but I let him continue. Pausing briefly to drink his oolong tea, Yamazaki raised his voice even higher, intoning, “In short, real women are worthless. They are incredibly close to monsters. And so …”

“So?”

“So, as erotic game creators, we have to create perfectly convenient female characters, the kind that don’t exist in reality.”

Convenient female characters…

“I mean, characters who start liking the protagonist without any real reason, ones who get close to the protagonist out of pure good will, those kinds of characters,” Yamazaki explained. “Characters without any hidden motives whatsoever, who would absolutely never betray the protagonist. The kinds of characters who could never exist in the real world.”

“If you introduce characters so far removed from actual life, won’t the overall realism of the game be compromised?”

“It doesn’t matter. Players aren’t looking for realism in erotic games. Even if we stupidly tried to introduce realism, players would just get sick of it, eventually. If someone wanted to fall in love with a realistic character, they could go speak to a real woman and not have to play erotic games.”

“I see.”

“There are still techniques you should use to create characters,” he warned.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, if you just stick in a regular female character and announce ‘she is a perfectly ideal heroine!’ there’s no ring of truth to that claim. You have to use strategies in terms of situational and character-based set ups to reinforce the fact that your ‘ideal heroine’ is, indeed, ideal.

“For example, one technique is to make her a childhood friend. If you make the main character’s childhood friend into a heroine, you can develop a believable bond, because they’ve been close to each other from youth. From this fantasy, you get a convincing argument for her as a perfectly convenient, ideal heroine.

“The second technique is to make her a maid. If you make a maid your heroine, then, due to the nature of her job, a master-servant relationship develops. From this fantasy, you again get a convincing argument for her as a perfectly convenient, ideal heroine.

“Finally, the third technique is to make her a robot. You make a robot into the heroine. Because robots cannot oppose humans, the sense that she cannot have ulterior motives or that she cannot betray her owner, making a convincing argument for her as a perfectly convenient, ideal—“

“B-by robots, you mean…?” I interrupted.

“I mean a regular robot. You make a robot the heroine of your erotic game.” It was a fairly surreal conversation, but Yamazaki’s expression suggested that this was all completely natural.

“In short, the main goal when creating erotic game characters is to set up a reason why the heroine cannot defy the main character. You do this when you define the initial situation. She must obey any order from the main character, she must listen, and she must love the main character unconditionally. These techniques can help you fulfill these requirements as much as possible.”

I thought it was best not to think too deeply about this.

In utter desperation, I asked, “Well, what about a classmate who is both a childhood friend and a robot maid?”

“That’s a great set up!” Yamazaki answered, a sincere look on his face.

“Well, how about the additional scenario that she was the main character’s lover in her previous life?”

“Th-that’s amazing!”

“On top of that, she’s sickly and blind and can’t speak, either. The only person she can rely on is the main character. How about that?”

“That’s absolutely perfect, isn’t it?!”

“Also, she’s got Alzheimer’s.”

“Good choice!”

“Not to mention suffering from multiple personality disorder.”

“Perfect!”

“She’s actually an alien.”

“Great!”

This discussion continued for several hours; as a result, we finally decided on the set up for the heroine of the erotic game I was to write.

“She’s the protagonist’s childhood friend as well as a robot maid. She’s blind, deaf, and sickly; on top of that, she’s an alien with Alzheimer’s and multiple personality disorder. However, she’s actually a ghost with a connection to the main character from their past lives. And her true form is really a fox spirit.”

“Wow, amazing! It’s perfect! It’s moe moe!

“Hm …”

“What is it, Satou? You can start writing the scenario right away.”

“Uh … Uh …”

“Uh?”

“How the hell can I write something like this? I’ll do it my own way!” I kicked Yamazaki and went back to my own room.

It was already two o’clock in the morning.

What the hell has happened to us? I tried worrying about this, but in the end, we were just two no-good hikikomori types, after all. I decided to continue my escape from reality.

That’s right! Speaking of escapism, the best thing would be to create an erotic game.

That’s why I’d write the scenario right away!