"Ranec, I'm so sorry," she said. "If I hadn't loved Jondalar first, I would have loved you! I could have been happy with you. You were so good to me, and you always made me laugh. I do love you, you know. Not the way you want, but I will always love you."

His black eyes were full of anguish. "I'll never stop loving you, Ayla. I'll never forget you. I'll take this love to my grave," Ranec said.

"Don't say that! You deserve more happiness than that."

He laughed, a bitter, hard laugh. "Don't worry, Ayla. I'm not ready for that grave, yet. At least not enough to make it happen. And someday, I may join with a woman, make a hearth, and she will have children. I may even love her. But no other woman will ever be you, and I will never feel about another woman the way I feel about you. You can only happen once in any man's lifetime." They started walking back.

"Will it be Tricie?" Ayla asked. "She loves you."

Ranec nodded. "Perhaps. If she'll have me. Now that she has a son, she will be in even greater demand, and she had plenty of offers before."

Ayla stopped, and looked at Ranec. "I think Tricie will have you. She's hurt now, but that's because she loves you so much. But there is something else you should know. Her son, Ralev, he's your son, Ranec."

"You mean he's the son of my spirit?" Ranec frowned. "You are probably right."

"No, I don't mean he's the son of your spirit. I mean Ralev is your son, Ranec. He is the son of your body, your essence. Ralev is your son just as much as he is Tricie's son. You started him growing inside her, when you shared Pleasures with her."

"How do you know I shared Pleasures with her?" Ranec said, looking a little uncomfortable. "She was a red-foot last year, and very dedicated."

"I know because Ralev was born, and he is your son. That's how all life is started. That's why Pleasures honor the Mother. It is the beginning of life. I know this, Ranec. I promise you, it is true, and this promise cannot be broken," Ayla said.

Ranec frowned with concentration. It was a strange new idea. Women were mothers. They gave birth to children, daughters and sons. But could a man have a son? Could Ralev be his son? Yet Ayla said it. It had to be. She carried the essence of Mut. She was the Spirit Woman. She might even be the Great Earth Mother incarnate.

Jondalar checked the packs again, then led Racer to the head of the path, where Ayla was saying goodbye. Whinney was packed, and waiting patiently, but Wolf was running excitedly between them, knowing something was happening.

It had been difficult for Ayla to leave behind the people she loved when she was expelled from the Clan, but she'd had no choice. Saying goodbye, voluntarily, to the people she loved in the Lion Camp, knowing she would never see them again, was even harder. She had cried so many tears already this day, she wondered how she had any more to shed, yet her eyes watered anew each time she hugged another friend.

"Talut," she sobbed, hugging the big, red-haired headman. "Did I ever tell you it was your laughter that made me decide to visit? I was so scared of the Others, I was ready to ride right back to the valley, until I saw you laughing."

"You are going to have me crying in a moment, Ayla. I don't want you to go."

"I already am crying," Latie said. "I don't want you to go, either. Remember the first time you let me touch Racer?"

"I remember when she let Rydag ride Whinney," Nezzie said. "I think that was the happiest day of his life."

"I'm going to miss the horses, too," Latie wailed, as she clung to Ayla.

"Maybe you can get a little horse of your own someday, Latie," Ayla said.

"I will miss the horses, too," Rugie said.

Ayla picked her up and gave her a squeeze. "Then maybe you'll have to get a little horse, too."

"Oh, Nezzie," Ayla cried. "How can I thank you? For everything? You know, I lost my mother when I was little, but I'm very lucky. I've had two mothers to replace her. Iza took care of me when I was a little girl, but you are the mother I needed to become a woman."

"Here," Nezzie said, handing her a package, and trying not to give way to tears entirely. "It's your Matrimonial tunic. I want you to have it for your joining with Jondalar. He is like a son to me, too. And you are my daughter."

Ayla hugged Nezzie again, then looked up at her big, strapping son. When she hugged Danug, he hugged her back with no reservations. She felt the maleness of his strength, and the warmth of his body, and a momentary spark of his attraction to her as he whispered in her ear, "I wish you had been my redfoot."

She backed off, and smiled. "Danug! You are going to be such a man! I wish I were staying to see you grow into another Talut."

"Maybe, when I'm older, I'll make a long Journey and come to visit you!"

She hugged Wymez next, and she looked for Ranec, but he was not around. "I'm sorry, Wymez," she said.

"I am sorry, too. I wanted you to stay with us. I would have liked to have seen the children you would have brought to his hearth. But Jondalar is a good man. May the Mother smile on your Journey."

Ayla took Hartal from Tronie's arms, and was delighted at his giggle. Then Manuv picked up Nuvie, for Ayla to kiss.

"She is here only because of you. I will not forget it, and neither will she," Manuv said. Ayla embraced him, then Tronie and Tornec, too.

Frebec held Bectie, while Ayla made her last farewells to Fralie and the two boys. Then she embraced Crozie. She held back stiffly at first, though Ayla felt her shaking. Then the old woman clutched her, tight, and there was a tear glistening in her eye.

"Don't forget how to make white leather," she commanded.

"I won't, and I have the tunic with me," Ayla said, then with a sly smile, she added, "But, Crozie, from now on you should remember. Never play Knucklebones with a member of the Mammoth Hearth."

Crozie looked at her in surprise, and, then cackled a laugh, as Ayla turned to Frebec. Wolf had joined them, and Frebec rubbed behind his ears.

"I'm going to miss this animal," he said.

"And this animal," Ayla said as she gave him a hug, "is going to miss you!"

"I will miss you, too, Ayla," he said.

Ayla found herself in the middle of a crush of people from the Aurochs Hearth, as all the children and Barzec crowded around her. Tarneg was there, too, with his woman. Deegie waited with Branag, and then the two young women collapsed in each other's arms in a new freshet of wet eyes.

"In some ways, it's harder to say goodbye to you than anyone, Deegie," Ayla said. "I never had a friend like you, who was my age, and could understand me."

"I know, Ayla. I can't believe you're leaving. Now, how are we going to know who has a baby first?"

Ayla backed away and looked at Deegie, critically, then smiled. "You will. You already have one started."

"I wondered about it! Do you really think so?"

"Yes. I'm sure of it."

Ayla noticed Vincavec was standing beside Tulie. She brushed his tattooed cheek lightly.

"You surprised me," he said. "I didn't know he would be the one. But then, everyone has weaknesses." He gave Tulie a knowing glance.

Vincavec was displeased that his reading of the situation was so far off. He had totally discounted the tall blond man, and he was somewhat miffed at Tulie because she had accepted his matched pieces of amber knowing that it was not likely he would be getting what he was bargaining for, in spite of the fact that he had pushed them on her. He had been making pointed comments implying that she had accepted his amber because of her weakness for it, and that she didn't give full value. Since they were ostensibly a gift, she couldn't return them, and he was taking full value in his cutting remarks.

Tulie glanced at Vincavec before she approached Ayla, making sure he was watching, then she gave the young woman a warm and sincere embrace.