Host pig brother trumpet breath to say, “That’s my brother!” Trumpet, “Smear those foreigners!”

Operative Ling removed from battlefield. Skirmish continued. Dodging munitions numerous stinging bladders, feet of operative me take stance adjacent pig dog brother. Under heavy fire, say, “Respected brother…” Say, dodging incoming bladder, say, “Procure eight count of Rohypnol pills of sleep, and will train you Punching Panda.” Say, “Make of brother top best invincible.”

Next then, flying grab hands of this agent, intercept bladder for rescue other fellow soldier, former delegate Congo. To gentleman delegate say, “Acquire one container fabricated steel metal, capacity two cubic feet for purpose science fair…” Say, “In return, promise teach Striking Cobra Quick Kill maneuver.”

Hurtling bladder so assassinate opposing soldiers, clutter battlefield many casualty, this agent bargain will teach Soaring Condor Double Strike to first man who deliver five pounds potassium nitrate fertilizer. Will instruct Leaping Kangaroo Punch Escape to man able provide blasting cap. Will coach Lunging Lynx beheading yank to anyone granting battery-operated timing device.

Against backdrop frequent casualty, bombarding heavy artillery rubber bladders, this agent assign former gentleman delegate Equatorial Guinea, precipitate nitrogen tri-iodide sourced ammonium hydroxide of school laboratory. Assign former delegate Mali distill reagent flowers of sulfur. Amidst carnage of battle, assign delegate Peru source 17.67 ounce most purified sodium peroxide.

Forever continues flurry of war. Brave action noble soldiers engaged in practice of dying. Youth enrolled, greedy to learn killing. Squeal soles so many shoe. Thud impact velocity bladders. Famished for violence.

Next now, former gentleman delegate Mozambique say, “Pygmy, my man.” Offer elbow bent own arm, say, “Now break my arm!” Say, “I got a test on Silas Marner next period.”

Request of delegate timing device.

Mozambique say, “Would my clock radio work…?”

Same now, fists of operative me hammer bam-blam, Giant Stork Death Kick, snapping puny ulna delegate, compound fracturing so bone emerge out ruptured skin of youth forearm. Upon sound, bone crack, pop out muscle tissue, at now when Mozambique witness, delegate soldier roll own eyeballs backward in skull. Skeleton buckle at knees, buckle at waist and neck. Collapse upon basketball wood. No conscious. No Silas Marner.

Quote, “Politics is like boxing—you try to knock out your opponents.”

Revered instructor breathing shrill noise out silver snail. Travels inflated bladder imprinting spilled nose blood out Ling, bounce blood onto wood, onto face soldiers smeared red, warrior hands stained blood.

Location dodgeball war—same location of ritual mating dance. Same location as Model United Nations. Chipped in concrete wall, ricochet bullet out pistol of Trevor Stonefield. From perimeter this gymnasium, casualty Tibor, casualty Otto and Bokara and Ling, cast eye pledging patient future attack upon this agent.

Next now, numerous fellow soldier: former delegates Antigua, Latvia, Lesotho, delegates Nauru, Namibia, Nigeria, all learning nothing of Silas Marner, dreading test, all take stance so fists of operative me may bam-blam quick render them helpless cripple.

Dispatch Twenty-fourth

Begins here twenty-fourth account operative me, agent number 67, seated surrounding meal table host family Cedar. American holiday food of Thanksgiving. Present: vast cow father, pig dog brother, chicken mother, cat sister host family all hands linked so create fence surrounding bounty food table. Recite religious incantation XXXXXX. Express gratitude such bounty slaughtered enemy citizens of XXXXXX. Nation boast celebration vanquish aboriginal North American peoples XXXXXX.

For official record, intestines of operative me infinite sickened gorging diet typical United State household. Cooked muscle tissues of Colonel Sanders. So infinite such array various flesh. Lunatic selection cheese, tissue, lactic secretions garnered of lesser sentient being. Bowels United State citizen harnessed heavy labor of process. Diet every spectrum culture across globe—based starches corn, rice, wheat, potato. All every citizen expected always dine, bowels tolerate infinite novelty perpetual introduced: fondue, dim sum, beef of Wellington. Intestines perennial challenged lasagna, burrito, Twinkie of Hostess.

All beauty created of the deity eventual to pass through American mouth, viscera, excreted anus.

Additional introduces food industry constant stream novel menu selections, every always touting new torture: steak tartare, marshmallow fluff, aspartame. Forever bombarding microwaves so burst kernel popcorns. Forever occupied electric ovens, burdened pizza pie consisting of solid ice.

Skinny claw chicken mother reach, snatch skin face cheek operative me, clamping skin, say, “I told Pygmy he could cook any ethnic thing he wanted, just so long as he didn’t slaughter a goat in my kitchen.”

Dawn of today, making most humble tone, voice of operative me request to prepare meal originating native homeland of this agent. Confront chicken host mother amid domain cooking appliance, larder too plentitude clashing foodstuffs.

Fashion face of operative me passable facsimile expression of caring, project demeanor juvenile affection. Perform best mimic begging sloth eye, stupid American child. Rational how host mother forever preparing so delicious meal, forever imprison place of stove, to repayment must this grateful agent instead suckle host family. Assemble consumables Thanksgiving.

Commencing ritual meal, pig dog brother load meat to own mouth, masticating roasted muscle fiber.

Hand lifted fork so close focus examine tines loaded beef, host mother poke own nose so inhale meat, say, “Did you hear?” Say, “They arrested Glen for abusing Trevor…” Tilt own torso vicinity host father, say whisper, “Sex abuse.”

Twitching chicken mother say, “How Glen Stonefield could show his face in church, crying at his baby’s coffin, I don’t know.” Say, “I mean, Trevor was brutally sodomized.”

Delectable consumables supplemented abundant portion sodium chloride. Palatable savory beefs, pleasing grains rice with churned polyps potato impregnated dairy fats, all containing excessive sodium chloride. Generating great appetite of water, catalyst hunger of liquid gobbling vast beverage.

Pig dog swallowing, cat sister, cow father and chicken mother, all host family engaged feasting upon water.

Ingredient sodium chloride spur suffer starvation of water.

Nostril flared so deep sensate odor beef, mother peek into burden fork, say, “The autopsy, I guess it showed Trevor had scars.” Mother swivel skull so single nostril scenting morsel beef, say, “Inside his bottom” Top and bottom incisor of mouth reach at fork, meet, sink, pinch strand single muscle fiber beef, string red beef sinew, say, “And the fissures or what all… they looked fresh”

Cow father inhale odor emanating fork, say, “This ain’t half-bad, but it doesn’t taste like any beef I’ve ever eaten.”

Explain this agent how no consume beef in homeland operative me. Culture of this agent holds beef solely as household mascot. Beloved pet.

Pig brother fork seize, halt middle of distance between plate and own mouth. Host brother eye ogle morsel meat, say, “This is beef?” Pig dog cast eye to rest upon this agent. Say, “You cooked this?”

Stealth cat sister say, “Why’s it so salty?”

Explain how this agent initially required apprehend beef, extract collar with medals of identification, euthanasia painless utilizing Bird Wing Neck Twist, zing-wring, instant fast quick death. Subsequent dress beef carcass, removal paws, season meat, pan sear, bake four hundred degrees. Sprig rosemary.