She got up and walked around the small room, looking for something sharp. There was nothing. The rooms had been carefully designed so that there was nothing in them that would allow the patients to harm themselves.

As her eyes darted around the room, she saw the paints and canvas and paintbrushes and walked over to them. The handles of the paintbrushes were wooden. Ashley snapped one in half, exposing sharp, jagged edges. Slowly, she took the sharp edge and placed it on her wrist. In one fast, deep movement, she cut into her veins and her blood began to pour out. Ashley placed the jagged edge on her other wrist and repeated the movement. She stood there, watching the blood stain the carpet. She began to feel cold. She dropped to the floor and curled up into a fetal position.

And then the room went dark.

When Dr. Gilbert Keller heard the news, he was shocked. He went to visit Ashley in the infirmary. Her wrists were heavily bandaged. Watching her lying there, Dr. Keller thought, I can't ever let this happen again.

"We almost lost you," he said. "It would have made me look bad."

Ashley managed a wry smile. "I'm sorry. But everything seems so—so hopeless."

"That's where you're wrong," Dr. Keller assured her. "Do you want to be helped, Ashley?"

"Yes."

"Then you have to believe in me. You have to work with me. I can't do it alone. What do you say?"

There was a long silence. "What do you want me to do?"

"First, I want a promise from you that you'll never try to harm yourself again."

"All right. I promise."

"I'm going to get the same promise now from Toni and Alette. I'm going to put you to sleep now."

A few minutes later. Dr. Keller was speaking to Toni.

"That selfish bitch tried to kill us all. She thinks only about herself. Do you see what I mean?"

"Toni—"

"Well, I'm not having it. I—"

"Will you be quiet and listen to me?"

"I'm listening."

"I want you to promise that you'll never harm Ashley."

"Why should I promise?"

"I'll tell you why. Because you're part of her. You were born out of her pain. I don't know yet what you've had to go through, Toni, but I know that it must have been terrible. But you have to realize that she went through the same thing, and Alette was born for the same reason as you. The three of you have a lot in common. You should help each other, not hate each other. Will you give me your word?"

Nothing.

"Toni?"

"I suppose so," she said grudgingly.

"Thank you. Do you want to talk about England now?"

"No."

"Alette. Are you there?"

"Yes." Where do you think I am, stupid?

"I want you to make me the same promise that Toni did. Promise never to harm Ashley."

That's the only one you care about, isn't it? Ashley,

Ashley, Ashley. What about us?

"Alette?"

"Yes. I promise."

The months were going by, and there were no signs of progress. Dr. Keller sat at his desk, reviewing notes, recalling sessions, trying to find a clue to what was wrong. He was taking care of half a dozen other patients, but he found that it was Ashley he was most concerned about. There was such an incredible chasm between her innocent vulnerability and the dark forces that were able to take over her life. Every time he talked to Ashley, he had an overpowering urge to try to protect her. She's like a daughter to me, he thought. Who am I kidding? I'm falling in love with her.

Dr. Keller went to see Otto Lewison. "I have a problem, Otto."

"I thought that was reserved for our patients."

"This involves one of our patients. Ashley Patterson."

"Oh?"

"I find that I'm—I'm very attracted to her."

"Reverse transference?"

"Yes."

"That could be very dangerous for both of you, Gilbert."

"I know."

"Well, as long as you're aware of it... Be careful."

"I intend to."

NOVEMBER.

I gave Ashley a diary this morning.

"I want you and Toni and Alette to use this, Ashley. You can keep it in your room. Anytime that any of you has any thoughts or ideas that you prefer to write down instead of talking to me, just put them down."

"All right, Gilbert."

A month later. Dr. Keller wrote in his diary:

DECEMBER

The treatment is at a standstill. Toni and Alette refuse to discuss the past. It is becoming more difficult to persuade Ashley to undergo hypnosis.

MARCH

The diary is still blank. I'm not sure whether the most resistance is coming from Ashley or Toni. When I do hypnotize Ashley, Toni and Alette come out very briefly. They are adamant about not discussing the past.

JUNE

I meet with Ashley regularly, but I feel there's no progress. The diary is still untouched. I have given Alette an easel and a set of paints. I am hoping that if she begins to paint, there may be a breakthrough.

JULY

Something happened, but I'm not sure if it's a sign of progress. Alette painted a beautiful picture of the hospital grounds. When I complimented her on it, she seemed pleased. That evening the painting was torn to shreds.

Dr. Keller and Otto Lewison were having coffee. "I think I'm going to try a little group therapy," Dr. Keller said. "Nothing else seems to be working."

"How many patients did you have in mind?"

"Not more than half a dozen. I want her to start interacting with other people. Right now she's living in a world of her own. I want her to break out of that."

"Good idea. It's worth a try."

Dr. Keller led Ashley into a small meeting room. There were six people in the room.

"I want you to meet some friends," Dr. Keller said.

He took Ashley around the room introducing them, but Ashley was too self-conscious to listen to their names. One name blurred into the next. There was Fat Woman, Bony Man, Bald Woman, Lame Man, Chinese Woman and Gentle Man. They all seemed very pleasant.

"Sit down," Bald Woman said. "Would you like some coffee?"

Ashley took a seat. "Thank you."

"We've heard about you," Gentle Man said. "You've been through a lot."

Ashley nodded.

Bony Man said, "I guess we've all been through a lot, but we're being helped. This place is wonderful."

"They have the best doctors in the world," Chinese Woman said.

They all seem so normal, Ashley thought.

Dr. Keller sat to one side, monitoring the conversations. Forty-five minutes later he rose. "I think it's time to go, Ashley."

Ashley stood up. "It was nice meeting all of you."

Lame Man walked up to her and whispered, "Don't drink the water here. It's poisoned. They want to kill us and still collect the money from the state."

Ashley gulped. "Thanks. I'll— I'll remember."

As Ashley and Dr. Keller walked down the corridor, she said, "What are their problems?"

"Paranoia, schizophrenia, MPD, compulsive disoders. But, Ashley, their improvement since they came here has been remarkable. Would you like to chat with them regularly?"

"No."

Dr. Keller walked into Otto Lewison's office.

"I'm not getting anywhere," he confessed. The group therapy didn't work, and the hypnotism sessions aren't working at all. I want to try something different."

"What?"

"I need your permission to take Ashley to dinner off the grounds."

"I don't think that's a good idea, Gilbert. It could be dangerous. She's already—"

"I know. But right now I'm the enemy. I want to become a friend."

"Her alter, Toni, tried to kill you once. What if she tries again?"

"I'll handle it."

Dr. Lewison thought about it. "All right. Do you want someone to go with you?"

"No. I'll be fine, Otto."

"When do you want to start this?"

"Tonight."

'You want to take me out to dinner?"

"Yes. I think it would be good for you to get away from this place for a while, Ashley. What do you say?"