“Are you trying to say you had to fight her off?” Her voice came out husky with an invitation she was trying very hard not to give him.

“No. I’m saying that I used her as a blind to get to the second floor, where I caused her to go unconscious without hurting her so that I could exit through the window and plant a receiver outside the master bedroom window.”

“Why do you reek of her smell?”

“Her hands were everywhere after she yanked me onto the bed. She pressed herself against me.”

“Did you kiss her?”

“No.”

“Is that part of the special training you were talking about me needing?”

“Yes.”

“I didn’t like the idea of you using your body for the cause.”

“We’re even. I didn’t like the sight of Prescott’s hands on you at dinner.”

“He barely touched me.”

“It was enough.”

“Would you have kissed her?”

“I didn’t kiss her…by choice.”

“Would you, if you had to?” She took a breath and then asked the question that mattered most of all. “Would you use your body…if it meant getting what we needed?”

“No. Not for the sake of the case and not because of desire. I don’t want anyone else. Only you.” He pulled their entwined hands so they rested on his thigh, all the while keeping up the soft massage with his thumb.

“But what if-”

His finger moved from her neck to press against her lips. “There are no buts. I couldn’t make myself touch another woman with intent right now, Beth. Not for this assignment. Not for anything.”

“Even though I said no sex?”

“Even then.”

“But I have no hold on you.”

“Apparently, you do.”

“I don’t want to. I don’t want you to have a hold on me.”

“I know I’m not the kind of man you see in your future, but that doesn’t change that right now, we are bound together. Like it or not. Think it is smart or not. You are mine and I am yours.”

The words were more seductive than his touch. “But we aren’t sleeping together.”

“I know and it’s killing me.”

“Is it?”

“You know it is. Don’t play innocent. You know how hard you turn me on, how much you excite me.”

“You don’t like my intensity.”

He laughed, like she’d said something really, really funny. “You are so wrong. I purely revel in it, baby.”

“But you said-”

“That it made doing my job harder and it does. I’ve never been less than one hundred percent focused on my objective on any assignment. It’s different this time, Beth. No matter what I’m doing, a little part of me is always focused on you. I thought it was just the sex, but it’s not. I’m attuned to you like I’ve never been with another person. You make me feel needy, damn it.”

“You sound angry.”

“I am angry. These kinds of feelings are what make great agents screw up.” Even angry and frustrated by feelings that clearly blindsided him, the man was ultraconfident in his assessment of himself.

“Are you sure about that?”

“Having my attention divided is always a risk.”

“But we aren’t having sex.”

“And I told you it doesn’t matter.”

“It sounds to me like you’re the intense one.” Which was a revelation. A nice one.

“You could say that.”

“But it bothers you.”

He sighed, frowning. “Yes.”

“You aren’t bothered by who I am though, are you?”

“No. In fact, I’d feel a lot less like a fool if you shared a little of this intensity, Sunshine.”

“You’re not a fool.” She was admitting to feelings she’d rather pretend did not exist, but living outside her fantasies meant admitting to realities she didn’t like as much as being willing to take risks on making dreams real.

He didn’t look appreciably cheered by her admission. “I feel like a green agent lately.”

“Why?”

“I should have let Prescott walk with you in the maze. Nothing could happen to you with all of us so close by, but I couldn’t stand the idea of you being alone with him like that. Even for a little bit.”

“Are you sure you aren’t just getting into your role so deep, you’re internalizing projected feelings?”

“You thinking about taking up psychology, Sunshine?”

“I read about actors doing that…even writers feeling the emotions of their characters so deeply it affects their moods.”

“I’m not an actor and we hired a ghostwriter to generate the books for my Ethan Grange persona.”

“But you do play a role…you’re playing one right now.”

“No, Beth, right now, I’m Ethan Crane and I’m sitting on the sofa with a woman who drives me insane with desire and the need to protect her. That’s not a role, that’s the real deal.”

Beth didn’t want to believe him. Because if she did, her defenses were going to crumble. But his green eyes glowed with sincerity. His body radiated both a heat that wrapped around her and a sense of security she could not dismiss.

He meant it. He wasn’t talking about forever. Neither of them was. But he was talking about having something more than physical lust in the here and now. He was talking about feelings mirrored in her own heart. The case had brought them together. But it was genuine feeling that kept them both from being able to ignore the intimacy between them.

She licked her lips, feeling wary, nervous, and filled with scared hope. “When you touch me, things go a little crazy.”

“When I don’t touch you, I go crazy.”

“I don’t want to be responsible for you losing your focus.”

“I’m not used to these feelings. I’ll admit that. I want things with you that I haven’t wanted with another woman, but I’m learning to deal with that. Pretending the feelings aren’t there won’t work.”

“Pretense is never as powerful as reality.” She should know. She was an expert on fantasy.

He moved so both his hands cupped her neck. “I’m learning that.”

“I’m scared, Ethan.”

“Why, baby?”

“I don’t want to love you.”

“You said that before.”

“And you said sex wasn’t love.”

His thumbs brushed along her jawline, tilting her head just a little. “It’s not.”

“It feels like it.” The words were out before she knew they were on the way, but she wouldn’t take them back.

Neither of them was going to hide from this truth.

“Then we’ll deal with the emotions when and if they come. I’ve never run from trouble, Sunshine, and you’re no scaredy-cat yourself.”

She wondered how he’d worked that one out. “Self-preservation isn’t cowardice.”

“Sometimes it is.”

“I’m not a coward.”

“No. You’re not.”

“You’re too good, you know that?”

“Am I?” Even those two words were seduction personified.

“Yes.” She met his gaze, the hunger in his eyes matching her own. “Kiss me, Ethan. Kiss me like you mean it.”

“I do mean it, baby.”

There was no time to answer because his lips were on hers, possessing her with a tender determination that felt different than anything they’d shared before. But then it was different. They were both admitting that it was more than physical. That love might very well be lurking beneath the explosive desire they shared.

The woman she’d known herself to be a month ago would have run from that knowledge and the possible ramifications it could have on her heart and on her future. She’d learned painful lessons from her parents and Alan. But that Beth had not yet known the depth of Ethan’s passion, or her own. Even so, she hadn’t been able to walk away from Alan and what he represented.

Yet the feelings she’d had for him were a misty reflection of the deep well of emotion Ethan stirred inside her. She had no hope of turning her back on him and what he was offering, but she wouldn’t hide from the truth this time either. She wasn’t going to weave fantasies in her head about the kind of life they could have together.

Ethan was an agent. First, last, and always. She wouldn’t ask him to give that up and she’d never make the mistake of assuming he was going to. If they had a future. And she would not pretend he’d offered that either. He’d used the phrase for now more than once. He wasn’t thinking in terms of a life together, but he also wasn’t dismissing the possibility.