“It’s a good thing for you your mom didn’t feel the same way, isn’t it.”

“I don’t know. Is it?”

“Your dad is a good man.”

“Yes, he is. I’m very proud of what he’s accomplished with his life, but it came at a price.” She sighed, her expression not so much sad as determined. “He wasn’t the only one who paid it either. I know what it’s like to grow up with a very absentee father. Lots of kids do, but that doesn’t make it any easier to live with when you are one of them.

“Dad didn’t settle for a desk job until I was in my teens. By that time, Mother had developed a whole life independent of his. So had I. That works for them, but it’s not what I want for myself or for any children I might have. I’m not sure that what I do want is anything more than a pipe dream, but I’m not settling for something less. Which is why weddings and marriage are not high on my list of interesting conversational topics.”

It was a hint to let the subject drop, but he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to settle down right now either, but someday he had every intention of getting married. Maybe even having kids. Family was a good thing. He was just too busy enjoying the single life at the moment to have one. But she sounded like she really never planned to go that route, and something told him that would be a real waste.

She was warm and sweet…the kind of woman that would thrive in a family like the one he’d grown up in.

“Okay, so your dad missed a few school plays, but think of all the good he did.”

She laughed, her expression almost pitying. “It was a lot more than a few school plays and someone else could have done what he did in the field.”

“He was a damn good agent.”

“Yes, he was…but he wasn’t the only agent, not even the only really good agent. And who is to say that him moving to a desk job earlier wouldn’t have done the agency more good?”

“But he wouldn’t have been happy.” Didn’t she see that?

“I know. But his happiness came at the cost of mine. I can understand that as an adult…that he had to do what he felt was right, but I can never condone subjecting any child of mine to a similar situation. It hurts too much. I didn’t understand why he had to do what he did when I was little. All I knew was that my dad didn’t love me enough to be there for me when I needed him. I love him, but I’ll never allow a child of mine to go to sleep at night wondering what is wrong with her that she’s so unimportant to her dad he’s missed her birthday again, or her first date, or her high school graduation.”

He opened his mouth to speak and then shut it again. He didn’t know what that was like. Sure, things had come up when he was a kid that made his parents have to miss something here or there, but never one of his birthdays…or his graduation. It would be too easy for him to say it wouldn’t have mattered, but he didn’t know because he’d never had to face that.

“It sounds to me like you know exactly what you want-”

“Or don’t want.”

“Or don’t want. You’re definitely strong enough to turn down a guy if he wasn’t offering you the kind of lifestyle commitment you’re looking for.”

“You’d think so, wouldn’t you? Maybe I am now…but I wasn’t always.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just that I’ve made mistakes in the past I have no intention of repeating.”

“You’ve never been married.”

She winced. “No, I haven’t.”

Did she have any idea how her half answers were driving him nuts. The more he learned about her, the more he wanted to know until it was a burning thing inside him.

That was just his curiosity. Nothing special, but he hadn’t been intrigued by something outside his job like this for a long time. Not since wanting to find out who had killed the uncle who had lived estranged from his family for decades.

He’d had to learn that info secondhand…another man had discovered the identity of the killer. But this time, Ethan was going to be the one to discover what made Beth tick.

“So, you’d be safe dating agents.”

“And if I fell in love?”

“Love?” He didn’t deny its existence, but he’d never felt it. Not for a woman. Sometimes he wondered if he just wasn’t the type of man to fall in love.

“Yes, you know that pesky emotion that causes people to do lots of stuff they swear they’d never do.”

“I don’t see you letting it rule you.”

“Don’t you?”

“You’re too stubborn.”

“Stubborn…what kind of talk is this? You are supposed to be telling this one of her beauty…ai, ai, ai…you leave the talk of stubborn for after the marriage.” Vito was shaking his head and staring at Ethan in horror.

Beth grinned. “You tell him, Vito. Besides, I’m not stubborn. I don’t know where he gets the idea that I am.” She batted her long dark lashes at him and the old Italian beamed, eating up this flirtatious side to the quiet little admin.

Who damn well was stubborn. Very. His mama would love her. So would his sister. His daddy would say to steer clear unless he wanted to end up roped and hog-tied. He frowned. Not bad advice.

“Now you glare at her? This sweet thing. What could she have done?”

“Nothing. Honest.” Beth smiled coquettishly. “He’s a little upset because I think he’s a poor prospect for a long-term relationship like marriage. He thinks jumping out of airplanes and forgetting to pull the rip cord on his parachute until the last minute is entertainment. I have my own ideas about how to pass the time.”

She said it so suggestively Ethan almost choked on his wine. This vixen was not the shy, but stubborn little secretary he was used to dealing with.

Vito was shaking his head again. “There is nothing romantic about jumping out of an airplane, but he did bring you here for dinner.”

“That’s true,” Beth mused provocatively. “I suppose I’ll have to give him marks for some level of romanticism.”

“That is good, no?” Vito placed their dinners on the table before leaving to greet another obviously well-known customer at the door.

“I can be as romantic as the next man, but this is not a real date, or had you forgotten?”

“My memory is just fine, thanks.”

“Then what was all that stuff you spouted at Vito? I never said I wanted to marry you.” He realized how ridiculous he sounded only when the words were out of his mouth.

He was coming off like a defensive kid who was not confident of his ability with women so had to tell her what a great guy he was.

She laughed, the sound warm and filled with amusement. At his expense. “Would you prefer I told him that our get-to-know-you session for the sake of the case was getting too intense?”

“Of course not.”

“He thinks we’re on a date, so I acted like I was on a date.”

“Then I pity the poor man you actually deign to allow yourself to go out with.”

“Do you?”

Hell no. He envied him…the date and the pink handcuffs.

He was envying a lot more later that evening as he poked through Beth’s closet and drawers. Okay, so he’d guessed she wore sexy undergarments, but damn…he hadn’t expected anything this hot. She had lacy thongs and see-through bikini briefs and bras that were nothing more than a couple of bits of silk. The demibras killed him. He’d picked one up and his hand had actually shaken.

He had a real thing for that particular piece of lingerie…the way it held a woman’s breasts up and left the nipples bare, as if they were waiting to be touched and played with. He couldn’t help wondering what kind of breasts she had. Were they perky? Or a little heavy? Cone shaped or round? Did she have big nipples or small ones…dark or light?

Her skin was pale, but her hair and eyes were dark…it could go either way. Did she like having her breasts and her nipples touched, suckled…bitten? He was aching to find out.

Her clothes were a revelation, too. He’d seen the office gear she wore to work, but she had a rack of filmy, feminine dresses that made his mouth water. Thinking of her in them, worn over some of the more risqué lingerie, sent another surge of blood rushing to his groin. It was all he could do to stifle a groan of pure male hunger.