"Why would he do that?"
"I have no idea. That's why I'm asking you," I said.
She must have done some acting at one point; maybe high school, the senior play, not the lead. She made a show of frowning, then shook her head in bafflement. "I don't think so," she said, as though racking her brain.
"I have to tell you, he made a note on his desk calendar. He wrote Barrett plain as day."
"He did?"
"I ran across it today, which is why I was asking earlier who he was here to meet. I was hoping you'd be honest, but you dropped the ball," I said. "I would have let it pass, but then the story was confirmed, so here I am. You want to tell me how it went?"
"Confirmed?"
"As in verified," I said.
"Who confirmed it?"
"Cecilia."
"It wasn't anything," she said.
"Well, great. Cough it up, in that case. I'd like to hear."
"We just talked a few minutes and then he started feeling bad."
"What'd you talk about?"
"Just stuff. We were chatting about my dad. I mean, it was nothing in particular. Just idle conversation. Me and Brant used to go steady and he was asking about the breakup. He always felt bad that we didn't hang in together. I knew he was leading up to something, but I didn't know what. Then, he started feeling sick. I could see the color drain from his face and he started sweating. I was scared."
"Did he say he was in pain?"
She nodded, her voice wavering when she spoke. "He was clutching his chest and his breathing was all raspy. I said I'd go back to the motel and get some help and he said, fine, do that. He told me to lock the truck door and not mention our meeting to anyone. He was real emphatic about that, made me promise. Otherwise, I might have told you when you asked the first time." She fumbled in her uniform pocket and found a tissue. She swiped at her eyes and blew her nose.
I waited until she was calmer before I went on. "Did he say anything else?"
She took a deep breath. "Stay off the road if any cars came along. He didn't want anyone to know I'd been talking to him."
"Why?"
"He didn't want to put me in any danger, was what he said."
"He didn't say from whom?"
"He didn't mention anyone by name," she said.
"What else?"
"That's everything."
"He didn't give you his notebook for safekeeping?"
She shook her head mutely.
"Are you sure?"
"Positive."
"I thought he gave you the little black book where he kept his field notes."
"Well, he didn't."
"Barrett, tell the truth. Please, please, please? Pretty please with sugar on it? Trust me, I won't say a word to anyone about your having it."
"I'm telling you the truth."
I shook my head. "I hate to contradict you, but Tom always kept it with him and yet nobody's seen it since he died."
"So?"
"So everybody's been assuming he was by himself that night. Now it turns out you were in his truck.
Where else could it be? He was anxious to protect the notebook so he must have given it to you. That's the only way it adds up. If you can think of another explanation, I'd love to hear it."
The silence was exquisite. I let it drag on a bit without breathing another word.
"I went for help."
"I'm sure you did," I said. "The CHP officer saw you on the road. What about the notebook?"
Barrett looked out the window. "You don't have any proof," she said, faintly.
"Well, yeah, I know. I mean, except for the fact that Cecilia saw you on the motel porch that night," I said. "She says your dad came and picked you up, which is what you said yourself. You just fudged a tiny bit about the sequence of events. I can't prove you have the notebook, but it stands to reason."
Nancy poked her head out of the Rainbow's back door. Barrett opened the door and leaned out, calling, "I'll be right there!" Nancy nodded and waved.
"So where's the notebook?"
"In my purse," she said, glumly.
"Could you give it to me?"
"What's so important about the notes?"
"He was investigating two murders so I'm assuming his notes are somehow relevant. Did you read them yourself?"
"Well, yeah, but it's just a bunch of interviews and stuff. Lots of dates and abbreviations. It's no big deal."
"Then why does it matter if you pass it on to me?"
"He told me to hide it 'til he could decide what to do with it."
"He didn't know he would die."
"What a bummer," she said.
"Look, if you'll give it to me now, I'll make a copy first thing tomorrow and give it back to you."
After an agonizing moment, she said, "All right."
She got out of the car on her side and I got out on mine, locking the doors quickly before I followed her in. She kept her handbag in the storage room to the left of the kitchen door. Barrett took the notebook out of her bag and passed it to me. She seemed irritated that I'd managed to outmaneuver her somehow. "The other thing he said was the key's on his desk," she said.
"The key's in his desk?"
"That's what he told me. He said it twice."
"In or on?"
"On, I think. I have to go."
"Thanks. You're a doll." I put my finger to my lips. "Top secret. Not a word to anyone."
"Shit. Then why did I tell you?"
Nancy stuck her head in the kitchen door. "Oh, Kinsey. You're here. Brant's on the phone," she said.
I went out into the cafe proper, which was virtually deserted. The receiver was face down on the counter by the register. "Brant, is that you?"
He said, "Hi, Kinsey."
"Where are you? How'd you know I was here?"
"I'm at Mom's. I drove past the Rainbow a while ago and saw your car parked out back. I just wanted to check and make sure you're okay."
"I'm fine. Is your mother home yet?"
"She won't get back 'til close to nine," he said. "You need something?"
"Not really. If you have a way to call her, would you let her know I got it?"
"Got what?"
I curled my fingers around the mouthpiece, feeling like a character in a spy movie. "The notebook."
"How'd you manage that?"
"I'll explain later. I'll be home in a few minutes. Can you wait?"
"Not really. I just stopped by for some stuff I'll be taking to Sherry's later."
"You work weekends?"
"Not usually," he said. "I'm filling in for someone and hoping to run some errands first. We'll talk tomorrow."
"Right. I'll see you then," I said.
I let myself into Selma's house and headed out to the kitchen. The house was dim, silent, insufferably warm. Everything was much as I'd left it, except for a plastic wrapped plate of brownies with chocolate frosting sitting on the counter with a note attached: HELP YOURSELF. The condensation on the wrap suggested it had been refrigerated or frozen until recently. Brant must have assumed the note was meant for him because a plate and fork, showing telltale traces of chocolate, were sitting on the table at the place he occupied. I was sorry I'd missed him. We could have put our heads together.
I went into Tom's study and sat down in his swivel chair. I turned on his desk light and started going through the notebook. The cover was a pebbly black leather, soft with wear, the corners bent. I took the obvious route, starting at the first page-dated June 1-and working through to the last, which was dated February 1, two days before he died. Here, at last, were the ten months' worth of missing notes. The scribbles, on thin-lined paper, covered all the miscellaneous cases he'd been working on during that period. Each was identified by a case number in the margin to the left, and included complaints, crime-scene investigations, names, addresses, and phone numbers of witnesses. In a series of nearly indecipherable abbreviations, I could trace the course of successive interviews on any given matter; Tom's notes to himself, his case references, the comments and questions that cropped up as he proceeded. There, in something close to hieroglyphics, I read about the discovery of Pinkie's body, the findings of the coroner, Trey Kirchner… whom Tom referred to as III. Any recurring name Tom generally reduced to its first letter. I found references to R and B, which I assumed were Rafer and Tom's boss, Sheriff Bob Staffer. By copious squints and leaps of imagination, I could see that he'd worked backward from Pinkie's death to his incarceration in Chino and his friendship with Alfie Toth, a fact confirmed by MB, Margaret Brine at NLSD, Nota Lake Sheriff's Department. CS I took to refer to Colleen Sellers, sometimes referred to as C, who'd called to report Alfie Toth's jail time in ST. I found the summary of his trip to Santa Teresa in June, including dates, times, mileage, and expenditures for food and lodging. As I'd learned earlier, he'd talked to Dave Estes at the Gramercy on 6-5. Later, he'd talked to Olga Toth, her address and phone number neatly noted. By the time CS called again to report the discovery of Toth's remains, Tom's notes had become cursory. Where previously he'd been meticulous about detailing the contents of conversations, he was suddenly circumspect, reverting I suspected to a code of some kind. The last page of notes contained only some numbers-8, 12, 1, 11, and 26 writ large, and underlined with an exclamation point and question mark. Even the punctuation suggested a disbelief most emphatic. I sat and stared at the numbers until they danced on the page.