Jared didn’t answer. I felt my eyes getting moist. Did Ian really think so highly of me? Did he really think I’d earned the right to a life here?

“Point taken?” Ian pressed.

“I-I’ll have to think about that one.”

“Do that.”

“But still -”

Ian interrupted him with a sigh. “Don’t get worked up. Wanda isn’t exactly human, despite the body. She doesn’t seem to respond to… physical contact the same way a human would.”

Now Jared laughed. “Is that your theory?”

“What’s funny?”

“She is quite capable of responding to physical contact,” Jared informed him, his tone suddenly sober again. “She’s human enough for that. Or her body is, anyway.”

My face went hot.

Ian was silent.

“Jealous, O’Shea?”

“Actually… I am. Surprisingly so.” Ian’s voice was strained. “How would you know that?”

Now Jared hesitated. “It was… sort of an experiment.”

“An experiment?”

“It didn’t go the way I thought it would. Mel punched me.” I could hear that he was grinning at the memory, and I could see, in my head, the little lines fanning out around his eyes.

“Melanie… punched… you?”

“It sure wasn’t Wanda. You should have seen her face… What? Hey, Ian, easy, man!”

“Did you think for one moment what that must have done to her?” Ian hissed.

“Mel?”

“No, you fool, Wanda!”

“Done to Wanda?” Jared asked, sounding bewildered by the idea.

“Oh, get out of here. Go eat something. Stay away from me for a few hours.”

Ian didn’t give him a chance to answer. He yanked the door out of his way-roughly but very quietly-and then slid into his room and put the door back in its place.

He turned and met my gaze. From his expression, he was surprised to find me awake. Surprised and chagrined. The fire in his eyes blazed and then slowly dimmed. He pursed his lips.

He cocked his head to one side, listening. I listened, too, but Jared’s retreat made no sound. Ian waited for another moment, then sighed and plunked down on the edge of his mattress, across from me.

“I guess we weren’t as quiet as I thought,” he said.

“Sound carries in these caves,” I whispered.

He nodded. “So…” he finally said. “What do you think?”

CHAPTER 38.Touched

What do I think about what?”

“About our… discussion out there,” Ian clarified.

What did I think about it? I didn’t know.

Somehow, Ian was able to look at things from my perspective, my alien perspective. He thought I had earned a right to my life.

But he was… jealous? Of Jared?

He knew what I was. He knew I was just a tiny creature fused into the back of Melanie’s brain. A worm, as Kyle had said. Yet even Kyle thought Ian had a “crush” on me. On me? That wasn’t possible.

Or did he want to know what I thought about Jared? My feelings on the experiment? More details about my responses to physical contact? I shuddered.

Or my thoughts on Melanie? Melanie’s thoughts on their conversation? Whether I agreed with Jared about her rights?

I didn’t know what I thought. About any of it.

“I really don’t know,” I said.

He nodded. “That’s understandable.”

“Only because you are very understanding.”

He smiled at me. It was odd how his eyes could both scorch and warm. Especially with a color that was closer to ice than fire. They were quite warm at the moment.

“I like you very much, Wanda.”

“I’m only just beginning to see that. I guess I’m a little slow.”

“It’s a surprise to me, too.”

We both thought that over.

He pursed his lips. “And… I suppose… that is one of the things you don’t know how you feel about?”

“No. I mean yes, I… don’t know. I… I -”

“That’s okay. You haven’t had long to think about it. And it must seem… strange.”

I nodded. “Yes. More than strange. Impossible.”

“Tell me something,” Ian said after a moment.

“If I know the answer.”

“It’s not a hard question.”

He didn’t ask it right away. Instead, he reached across the narrow space and picked up my hand. He held it in both of his for a moment, and then he trailed the fingers of his left hand slowly up my arm, from my wrist to my shoulder. Just as slowly, he pulled them back again. He looked at the skin of my arm rather than my face, watching the goose bumps that formed along the path of his fingers.

“Does that feel good or bad to you?” he asked.

Bad, Melanie insisted.

But it doesn’t hurt, I protested.

That’s not what he’s asking. When he says good… Oh, it’s like talking to a child!

I’m not even a year old, you know. Or am I now? I was sidetracked, trying to figure out the date.

Melanie was not distracted. Good, to him, means the way it feels when Jared touches us. The memory she provided was not one from the caves. It was in the magic canyon, at sunset. Jared stood behind her and let his hands follow the shape of her arms, from her shoulders to her wrists. I shivered at the pleasure of the simple touch. Like that.

Oh.

“Wanda?”

“Melanie says bad,” I whispered.

“What do you say?”

“I say… I don’t know.”

When I could meet his eyes, they were warmer than I expected. “I can’t even imagine how confusing this all must be to you.”

It was comforting that he understood. “Yes. I’m confused.”

His hand traced up and down my arm again. “Would you like me to stop?”

I hesitated. “Yes,” I decided. “That… what you’re doing… makes it hard for me to think. And Melanie is… angry at me. That also makes it hard to think.”

I’m not angry at you. Tell him to leave.

Ian is my friend. I don’t want him to leave.

He leaned away, folding his arms across his chest.

“I don’t suppose she’d give us a minute alone?”

I laughed. “I doubt it.”

Ian tilted his head to one side, his expression speculative.

“Melanie Stryder?” he asked, addressing her.

We both started at the name.

Ian went on. “I’d like the chance to speak with Wanda privately, if you don’t mind. Is there any way that could be arranged?”

Of all the nerve! You tell him I said no chance in hell! I do not like this man.

My nose wrinkled up.

“What did she say?”

“She said no.” I tried to say the words as gently as they could be said. “And that she doesn’t… like you.”

Ian laughed. “I can respect that. I can respect her. Well, it was worth a try.” He sighed. “Kind of puts a damper on things, having an audience.”

What things? Mel growled.

I grimaced. I didn’t like feeling her anger. It was so much more vicious than mine.

Get used to it.

Ian put his hand on my face. “I’ll let you think about things, okay? So you can decide how you feel.”

I tried to be objective about that hand. It was soft against my face. It felt… nice. Not like when Jared touched me. But also different from the way it felt when Jamie hugged me. Other.

“It might take a while. None of this makes any sense, you know,” I told him.

He grinned. “I know.”

I realized, when he smiled then, that I wanted him to like me. The rest-the hand on my face, the fingers on my arm-I still wasn’t sure at all about those. But I wanted him to like me, and to think kind things about me. Which is why it was hard to tell him the truth.

“You don’t really feel that way about me, you know,” I whispered. “It’s this body… She’s pretty, isn’t she?”

He nodded. “She is. Melanie is a very pretty girl. Even beautiful.” His hand moved to touch my bad cheek, to stroke the rough, scarring skin with gentle fingers. “In spite of what I’ve done to her face.”

Normally, I would have denied that automatically. Reminded him that the wounds on my face weren’t his fault. But I was so confused that my head was spinning and I couldn’t form a coherent sentence.