Mr. Tutt shrugged his high shoulders.

“You press the analogy a long way, but-in a sense every successful revolutionist was in the beginning a criminal-as every rebel is and perforce must be,” he replied.

“So,” said Tutt, “if you're a big enough criminal you cease to be a criminal at all. If you're going to be a crook, don't be a piker-it's too risky. Grab everything in sight. Exterminate a whole nation, if possible. Don't be a common garden highwayman or pirate; be a Napoleon or a Willy Hohenzollern.”

“You have the idea,” replied Mr. Tutt. “Crime is unsuccessful defiance of the existing order of things. Once rebellion rises to the dignity of revolution murder becomes execution and the murderers become belligerents. Therefore, as all real progress involves a change in or defiance of existing law, those who advocate progress are essentially criminally minded, and if they attempt to secure progress by openly refusing to obey the law they are actual criminals. Then if they prevail, and from being in the minority come into power, they are taken out of jail, banquets are given in their honor, and they are called patriots and heroes. Hence the close connection between crime and progress.”

Tutt scratched his chin doubtfully.

“That sounds pretty good,” he admitted, “but”-and he shook his head-“there's something the matter with it. It doesn't work except in the case of crimes involving personal rights and liberties. I see your point that all progressives are criminals in the sense that they are 'agin the law' as it is, but-I also see the hole in your argument, which is that the fact that all progressives are criminals doesn't make all criminals progressive. Your proposition is only a half truth.”

“You're quite wrong about my theory being a half truth,” retorted Mr. Tutt. “It is fundamentally sound. The fellow who steals a razor or a few dollars is regarded as a mean thief, but if he loots a trust company or takes a million he's a financier. The criminal law, I maintain, is administered for the purpose of protecting the strong from the weak, the successful from the unsuccessful the rich from the poor. And, sir”-Mr. Tutt here shook his fist at an imaginary jury-“the man who wears a red necktie in violation of the taste of his community or eats peas with his knife is just as much a criminal as a man who spits on the floor when there's a law against it. Don't you agree with me?”

“I do not!” replied Tutt. “But that makes no difference. Nevertheless what you say about the criminal law being devised to protect the rich from the poor interests me very much-very much indeed But I think there's a flaw in that argument too, isn't there? Your proposition is true only to the extent that the criminal law is invoked to protect property rights-and not life and liberty. Naturally the laws that protect property are chiefly of benefit to those who have it-the rich.”

“However that may be,” declared Mr. Tutt fiercely, “I claim that the criminal laws are administered, interpreted and construed in favor of the rich as against the liberties of the poor, for the simple reason that the administrators of the criminal law desire to curry favor with the powers that be.”

“The moral of which all is,” retorted the other, “that the law ought to be very careful about locking up people.”

“At any rate those who have violated laws upon which there can be a legitimate difference of opinion,” agreed Mr. Tutt.

“That's where we come in,” said Tutt. “We make the difference-even if there never was any before.”

Mr. Tutt chuckled.

“We perform a dual service to society,” he declared. “We prevent the law from making mistakes and so keep it from falling into disrepute, and we show up its weak points and thus enable it to be improved.”

“And incidentally we keep many a future statesman and prophet from going to prison,” said Tutt. “The name of the last one was Solomon Rabinovitch-and he was charged with stealing a second-hand razor from a colored person described in the papers as one Morris Cohen.”

How long this specious philosophic discussion would have continued is problematical had it not been interrupted by the entry of a young gentleman dressed with a somewhat ostentatious elegance, whose wizened face bore an expression at once of vast good nature and of a deep and subtle wisdom.

It was clear that he held an intimate relationship to Tutt &Tutt from the familiar way in which he returned their cordial, if casual, salutations.

“Well, here we are again,” remarked Mr. Doon pleasantly, seating himself upon the corner of Mr. Tutt's desk and spinning his bowler hat upon the forefinger of his left hand. “The hospitals are empty. The Tombs is as dry as a bone. Everybody's good and every day'll be Sunday by and by.”

“How about that man who stole a razor?” asked Tutt.

“Discharged on the ground that the fact that he had a full beard created a reasonable doubt,” replied Doon. “Honestly there's nothing doing in my line-unless you want a tramp case.”

“A tramp case!” exclaimed Tutt &Tutt.

“I suppose you'd call it that,” he answered blandly. “I don't think he was a burglar. Anyhow he's in the Tombs now, shouting for a lawyer. I listened to him and made a note of the case.”

Mr. Tutt pushed over the box of stogies and leaned back attentively.

“You know the Hepplewhite house up on Fifth Avenue-that great stone one with the driveway?”

The Tutts nodded.

“Well, it appears that the prisoner-our prospective client-was snooping round looking for something to eat and found that the butler had left the front door slightly ajar. Filled with a natural curiosity to observe how the other half lived, he thrust his way cautiously in and found himself in the main hall-hung with tapestry and lined with stands of armor. No one was to be seen. Can't you imagine him standing there in his rags-the Weary Willy of the comic supplements-gazing about him at the objets d'art, the old masters, the onyx tables, the statuary-wondering where the pantry was and whether the housekeeper would be more likely to feed him or kick him out?”

“Weren't any of the domestics about?” inquired Tutt.

“Not one. They were all taking an afternoon off, except the third assistant second man who was reading 'The Pilgrim's Progress' in the servants' hall. To resume, our friend was not only very hungry, but very tired. He had walked all the way from Yonkers, and he needed everything from a Turkish bath to a manicuring. He had not been shaved for weeks. His feet sank almost out of sight in the thick nap of the carpets. It was quiet, warm, peaceful in there. A sense of relaxation stole over him. He hated to go away, he says, and he meditated no wrong. But he wanted to see what it was like upstairs.

“So up he went. It was like the palace of 'The Sleeping Beauty.' Everywhere his eyes were soothed by the sight of hothouse plants, marble floors, priceless rugs, luxurious divans-”

“Stop!” cried Tutt. “You are making me sleepy!”

“Well, that's what it did to him. He wandered along the upper hall, peeking into the different rooms, until finally he came to a beautiful chamber finished entirely in pink silk. It had a pink rug-of silk; the furniture was upholstered in pink silk, the walls were lined with pink silk and in the middle of the room was a great big bed with a pink silk coverlid and a canopy of the same. It seemed to him that that bed must have been predestined for him. Without a thought for the morrow he jumped into it, pulled the coverlid over his head and went fast asleep.

“Meanwhile, at tea time Mrs. De Lancy Witherspoon arrived for the week-end. Bibby, the butler, followed by Stocking, the second man, bearing the hand luggage, escorted the guest to the Bouguereau Room, as the pink-silk chamber is called.”

Mr. Bonnie Doon, carried away by his own powers of description, waved his hand dramatically at the old leather couch against the side wall, in which Weary Willy was supposed to be reclining.